Yagh...

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   Nicole Winterposted 15 years ago

   I'm moving in with my boyfriend.  On an earlier post I had mentioned how that wasn't really a possibility, but it turns out that they do evict you, eventually, if you don't pay the rent.  I've been walking around in a daze since I've been served my summons a couple of weeks ago.  I went to court today to find out I have two weeks to move out of my place + my landlord is suing me for the 2.8K I owe her. 
   
   My other option is to move in with my parents.  About an hour and a half or so away from the city I love, where I've lived the better part of 12 years.  I've been in a daze because well, not only is this a lot of stress, but I feel terrified now that I am actually getting this close to moving in with the person that I've been with for three years, and love more than anyone I have ever been with before... I feel like the situation has been forced on him and I'm not sure if we're strong enough as a couple to handle the stress of both of us being unemployed and one of us, (him,) becoming a father overnight.  (I have a six year old daughter that he has spent time with, which is completely different than living with.)
   
   I have no idea what I am doing.  So, in that vein, if anyone of you has any advice or feels like commenting, I'm hanging out tonight and really hyped up on Monster Energy drink.
   
   Thanks,
   
   Nicole A. Winter

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2. 67

   Christoph Reillyposted 15 years ago

   I wish I could help you Nicole.  I have never been in exactly that position.  You are right that it will be a big adjustment.  It would be anyway, but with you both unemployed, that just makes it more difficult.  You don't mention how your parents feel about you moving in with them.  If they like the idea, that might be the best option right now.  Plus your child will be around her grandparents and it's always good to have family around. Besides, wouldn't that be easier on your daughter? Do you see your employment situation changing anytime soon?  It's quite common for kids to return to the roost these days and it's nothing to be embarrassed about.  I know it's far from where you want to be, but you are going to have to make a sacrifice somewhere.  Like you, I see the possibility of negatively impacting your relationship with your boyfriend, a relationship that you have already invested 3 years in.
   
   That being said, it's not the end of the world.  Relax a little.  Easy to say, I know, but pulling your hair out and worrying wont change anything.  How does your boyfriend feel about it?  Once, I had a girlfriend (we had foolishly become engaged quite quickly) with a young son move in with me.  I liked it just fine.  The kid was great and I was able to give him his own room and a computer, so he liked it too.  She, unfortunately, took advantage of my largesse, and I was forced to expel her from my life.  As I said at the time, "I'd keep the kid but she's got to go."  Anyway, point is, it can be very difficult.  If he is happy about the prospect, then that might be a good option.  I really don't have enough information to offer any more, which might not be worth anything anyway.  I just hate to see you so stressed out, though we don't really know each other.
   
   So, take a deep breath, tomorrow's a new day, blah, blah, blah.  But all that stuff is true. Tomorrow IS a new day.  Good luck.  If you need a sympathetic ear, contact me anytime.  - CR

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      Leta Sposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      You're a good guy, Chris. 
      
      I saw this post, too, but didn't know exactly what to say.  But I believe, too, Nicole, you shouldn't worry so much.  That is probably more about your eviction notification and feeling 'forced' than anything else. 
      
      Being around other people's kids is not that bad!  (I should know.)  But I also don't pretend for a minute I'm their parent.  They have a perfectly fine mother.  I wouldn't stress your BF out with trying to cast him in that role.
      
      It'll be fine.  Take a deep breath.  Look at things in a positive light.  You always learn and gain from every change, I've found.

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3. 75

   Anna Marie Bowmanposted 15 years ago

   Nicole, my only advice is to trust your instincts.  If you are unsure about the strength of your relationship with your boyfriend, maybe you should move in with your parents, even temporarily, so that you can give your boyfriend some time.  That way, he may not feel forced into the decision.  It will give the two of you time to talk about it.  I know how difficult it can be to be a single mom, and have to make these decisions.  Best of luck to you!!!

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