I've been hurt by men in the past, so how do I trust my new boyfriend after other men have hurt me?
My boyfriend tells me "that either I trust him or I don't"!! Is it that easy after other men have hurt me in past relationships? How do I learn to trust a man again?
you dont go by your gut feelings,. a women instict this rarly worng
Life is all about hardship, But what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger.
Do not see the past in your new boyfriend. Look only towards the future, and see if he is the right man for you. Remember that each individual is unique.
When he says something like "either you trust him or you don't" he is trying to ascertain his power of you. In a healthy relationship, a man and a woman must be able to love and hold control over each other (that's why relationships last over 20,30,40,50+ years)
It is entirely up to you whether you trust him or you don't, it depends on your better judgement.
I say, if you show unconditional love, and he shows it right back, then there should be no problems. If he doesn't, then its up to you if you want to continue the relationship.
Try not to automatically assume with this one. Don't expect the worst but still keep your eyes opened. It takes time to get over being hurt but allow him to love you and allow yourself to be happy.
I feel your pain, read this hub i wrote and maybe it will awnser some questions for you, and perhaps provide you with some laughs as well. It is a true story about my ex-girl friend.
http://hubpages.com/hub/HOW-NOT-TO-LIVE … irlfriends
Topic: men and women: Dating, Relationships gone bad! Good Friends & Evil Women, my perspective (humor) but (true)
As a Professional Counselor whose worked extensively with evidence-based couple’s interventions, I’d have to say that your need for safety and security represents one of the most critically important core-relationship-needs that define a relationship. It is very important that you express this need and have it met.
Although your partner’s response to your request is inappropriate and predictive of relationship failure, he’s likely responding this way because he doesn’t know how to share effective relationship communication around defining and meeting each other’s needs. Please take a look at my hub on the topic and feel free to ask for further clarification as it applies to your question here. I’ll be better able to provide practical information with you once I know that you understand the basics of effective couple’s communication.
You feel hurt by past experiences and to trust again is a scary notion. Trust can be built in small steps. So take one step at a time and slowly does it. That way you won't be caught up with the past and will enjoy future events and experiences. Take a deep breath and let out your anxiety and fears of the past. Learn from the past also. What was it that caused you so much hurt?
Perhaps if you are prepared to answer the question: 'I felt hurt and pain when...because ...' you may then understand why you experienced so much pain and hurt. What was it you needed and hoped for in the past relationships?
We have to look out for ourseoves and know when a situation is not good for us. We try to get out before it's too late or we sit down and try to talk through the differences that may cause the hurt.
Hope this helps.
by sx1889 7 years ago
How do I trust after being hurt in past relationshipsGuys have hurt me in the past. My new boyfriend says that I either trust him or I don't!! Is it really that simple to trust a man again after being hurt by others?
by rick023 7 years ago
I have always been the type of guy that just goes with the flow of things and believes that things in life should just evolve naturally. For example, I struggle with formal aspects of relationships and just prefer to let things happen as they do and feel that if things are good they will...
by These eyes 21 months ago
Why do men hurt the person they love? If they love a woman why they do crazy things?I have a good relationship with this man and he just admit that he was having an affair that he wants to continue seing that person. I never see this coming since everything was so great with us. We never have a big...
by ShanteD 4 months ago
Can you really have a relationship with someone you don't trust.You can love them and want your relationship to work but if you don't trust them can it? Do you give it time and hope for the best?
by Lisa Brown 5 years ago
What will make you trust her after you've been hurt?
by schoolgirlforreal 6 years ago
I've been single for 8 months some days it's greatsome days it sucksI feel myself still making the same stupid mistakes in dating.This is the longest I've been single EVER since I started dating .I've been reading some hubs here on this subject which are very helpful.Any in particular you...
|HubPages Device ID|
|Login||This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.|
|HubPages Google Analytics|
|HubPages Traffic Pixel|
|Google Hosted Libraries|
|Google AdSense Host API|
|Conversion Tracking Pixels|
|Author Google Analytics|
|Amazon Tracking Pixel|