Some constructive criticism on my first Hub (Adam and Lilith)

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   msgingerposted 10 years ago

   Hello all! I am 'new' (signed up a long time ago, but just started writing) to Hubpages and very excited to start covering as many subjects as possible. However, I've always been very reliant of feedback in order to continue what I'm doing and so I would like to know if there are certain adjustments I could make to improve. English is not my first language so if there are any flaws in the text regarding grammar/spelling please point them out for me. I'm here to learn.
   
   My first hub about breastfeeding was featured but ads were disabled, probably due to the sensitivity of the subject. So my first 'real' (earning) hub is this one:
   
   http://msginger.hubpages.com/hub/The-fi … and-Lilith
   
   Hope you can help me out!

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      Cardisaposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Hi Msginger. Welcome to Hubpages.
      
      There is only one suggestion I can make at this point and that is to make your paragraphs a little short. Tow paragraphs come to mind: The capsule titled Genesis 1 versus Genesis 2, you need to break up the paragraphs there. The capsule titled The Alphabet of Ben Sira is also too long so break that up as well.
      
      the photos are okay since they are not real portraits but rather art in a tasteful manner. If you are unsure just send HP staff a line asking them.

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         msgingerposted 10 years agoin reply to this

         Thank you for the suggestion Cardisa! You mean just to break it up within the capsule, right?

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            Cardisaposted 10 years agoin reply to this

            Yes, you don;t need to create additional capsule for that. Just separate the paragraphs.

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2. 90

   chasmacposted 10 years ago

   Hi Msginger - I had a look and I think it's very well written and informative. Your English ability is impressive; nobody would know that it's not your native language.  I hope HubPages is fine with the artistic nudity (all correctly attributed, I see) as it's tasteful and illustrates the article content well.

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3. 72

   msgingerposted 10 years ago

   Thank you chasmac, that's a real boost of confidence for the writer-me! I wasn't sure about the nudity, but we'll see. :-)

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   Writer Foxposted 10 years ago

   Nude pictures are great and can bring you a lot of traffic.  That's why I posed in the nude for my avatar picture.

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      LCDWriterposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      THAT....made me laugh.

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      Cardisaposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Crazy Fox!

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      msgingerposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Well, with that body.. haha

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   Silva Hayesposted 10 years ago

   Well-written article; I saw no indication that English is not your first language.  The only thing I noticed was that you have several items listed from Amazon and I understand that we are now supposed to limit our Amazon and eBay listings to one each.

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      Cardisaposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Actually it's one item per capsule. You are allowed one item per 50 words of content, however, your Amazon and eBay capsules should only have one item.

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