I'd like constructive criticism and advice on my article.

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  1. TheShadowSpecter profile image85
    TheShadowSpecterposted 11 months ago

    This is my first time coming into this forum for constructive criticism and advice regarding an article of mine.  Now that the comments sections in most articles on this writing platform have been disabled with the new format, it is good that this forum is available.  The name of the article that I am asking about is my article titled "Don't Fall For The Asperger's Syndrome Fairytale!" at:  https://hubpages.com/hub/Avoid-The-Aspe … re?hubview

    I submitted this same article of mine to YouMeMindBody for publication.  However, they sent me a denial response, and what is so bizarre about it is that the criteria that they set forth to me therein appeared to be goals that I had met in my article.  I realize that my article is very controversial and may raise a few eyebrows here and there.  However, I need to know if there is something that I am overlooking that I direly need to change in the article to get it accepted upon its resubmission to YouMeMindBody or perhaps do I need to submit to a different vertical Network Site instead?

    1. Kyler J Falk profile image90
      Kyler J Falkposted 11 months agoin reply to this

      Your tone seems too flippant for the type of content you are writing about, at least within the first paragraph. Other than that I didn't make it through the first section because it seemed combative and off-topic. Perhaps a few more subtitles to break up the walls of words.

      Overall: Wax poetic, rather than being so verbose and combative. That is all I have for you at a brief glance.

      1. Kyler J Falk profile image90
        Kyler J Falkposted 11 months agoin reply to this

        After reading a bit more, this article feels like it'd be more at home on SOAPBOXIE. In fact, it reads exactly like the majority of articles I see on SOAPBOXIE. I'd stick it in the social issues category.

        1. TheShadowSpecter profile image85
          TheShadowSpecterposted 11 months agoin reply to this

          Kyler?  I was thinking that perhaps SOAPBOXIE might be a better place to submit my article.

    2. OldRoses profile image94
      OldRosesposted 11 months agoin reply to this

      You need to credit your photos.  No one's articles are approved if there is no caption with the source and licensing of the photos.

      Also, your "article" is actually a blog post.  HubPages is not a blogging platform.  If you want to write a blog, try Blogger or WordPress, both are free.

      Spend some time in the Learning Center (Help button, upper right of your screen) to learn how to properly write and format articles for HubPages.

      1. TheShadowSpecter profile image85
        TheShadowSpecterposted 11 months agoin reply to this

        OldRoses?  I think of a "blog" as more of a diary than as a series of informative articles, but I could be mistaken.  Anyhow, until you told me so, I was unaware that Blogger and WordPress were both free.  I know that they both give more artistic freedom to their writers than HubPages does, and they welcome controversial subjects.  Anyhow, I will go ahead and spend some time in the Learning Center as you recommended.

        There's this one Hubber named Kiersten Gunsberg who has 48 articles, and each and every one of them are on a vertical Network Site.  I guess I could read some more of her articles and find out what it is that she's doing that I'm not doing.  I know that she has made four-figure commissions in a month on her articles, so she must be doing something right.

        As for crediting the photos, I didn't think that I had to do so unless the person who took the photograph provided instructions that anyone who used their photo had to do so.  Most of my photographs are from the Pixabay website.  However, if that is what it takes to get a vertical Network Site to publish a HubPages article of mine, then I will do so before submitting anything else.  Anyhow, I do thank you for taking time to give me feedback.

        1. Miebakagh57 profile image66
          Miebakagh57posted 11 months agoin reply to this

          The Shadow? You're a teachable guy and I like your mindset.                                            And by the way, who is that lady you say is doing well? I'd like to copy her and follow. Do send me a link or name to connect. Much thanks.

          1. Misbah786 profile image86
            Misbah786posted 11 months agoin reply to this

            Miebakagh 57 he is talking about Kiersten Gunsberg

          2. TheShadowSpecter profile image85
            TheShadowSpecterposted 11 months agoin reply to this

            That would be Kiersten Gunsberg.  I do thank you for the feedback on my article.  I have two hurdles I have to jump over with this same article.  I have to polish it up enough that it will be marketable to a vertical Network site, and I also have to get a website blocked where a plagiarized version of it appears.  A lot of work!

            1. Miebakagh57 profile image66
              Miebakagh57posted 11 months agoin reply to this

              Yes, I agree and you'll success. Go ahead and do the thing.

    3. erorantes profile image61
      erorantesposted 11 months agoin reply to this

      Good morning theshadowspecter. I found out something very important about you. You love the topic. Also, you love to write. You article looks like a book writing.  You need to read the hub pages learning center. You can find the rules of an article for hub pages.  Good luck with your article. If you organize your article, it is important to add solutions to the problem.

      1. TheShadowSpecter profile image85
        TheShadowSpecterposted 11 months agoin reply to this

        Erorantes?  It's interesting that you should say that my article looks like a book writing.  I've actually completed a science-fiction novel, and I'm getting ready to copyright it.  I've been writing ideas for science fiction since I was 17 years old.  Perhaps that characteristic in my way of writing has been inadvertently bleeding over into my article writing, and I just haven't been aware of it until now  Anyhow, per your advice, I will go ahead and read the HubPages learning center to find out what I need to do to get it all right.  I do thank you for taking the time to provide me with feedback.

  2. PaulGoodman67 profile image95
    PaulGoodman67posted 11 months ago

    As has been pointed out by others, this reads as a blog-style article and very much an opinion piece, not really the kind of information-orientated article which usually does well on HP. It may well not make it onto a niche site such as Soapboxie without considerable alteration. It reads like an off the cuff piece, almost stream of consciousness, almost a rant. There are also some unwieldy sentences that could be improved by a little editing imho.

    1. TheShadowSpecter profile image85
      TheShadowSpecterposted 11 months agoin reply to this

      PaulGoodman67?  Coincidentally, someone on the Steem blockchain told me that I needed to gravitate away from opinion pieces as much as possible.  You believe that it's almost a rant?  Well, the irony of it all is that someone actually plagiarized this same article of mine on another writing platform.  I've been trying to get him to delete his plagiarized version of my same article.  I wish that he had been the one to reject it instead of the HubPages Editing Team.  Isn't it strange how life works?  Anyhow, I know that I became a little melodramatic in the article, but it was only because I felt so strongly about what I wrote.  Perhaps if I remove some of the emotion in it, it might make a difference.  In any event, I do appreciate you taking the time to provide me with feedback, and I do thank you.

      1. PaulGoodman67 profile image95
        PaulGoodman67posted 10 months agoin reply to this

        Writing, particularly non-fiction, is a pretty technical matter. It helps to have a degree of emotional detachment, which can be difficult, I know. It also helps to try and perceive the piece as others see it. If you ask for feedback and lots of people say similar things, there is likely to be some merit in the feedback.

        Whether a piece is plagiarized or not is another matter. I also have work that failed to make it onto the niche sites that was copied. I don't see that as relevant, sorry. It doesn't typically indicate good or bad quality.

  3. Misbah786 profile image86
    Misbah786posted 11 months ago

    TheShadowSpecter I also asked for Help from HP they break the links from the article and asked me to file a DMCA takedown

    Me and one of my fellow hubber commented on the article, which the other person theft asking him to take it down else will get reported

    I will ask you to do same

    1. TheShadowSpecter profile image85
      TheShadowSpecterposted 11 months agoin reply to this

      Misbah786?  I actually submitted a DMCA request to Google just a few minutes ago so that they can investigate and block that website where that man has plagiarized our articles.  In other words, I'm requesting that Google remove that same website from all of the Google engine searches so that nothing that man has plagiarized will be accessible to the general public.  That man would have to provide a direct URL to anyone who wishes to access that website where he has plagiarized our articles illegally.  The good news is that it would be too much trouble for him to do so and he would eventually have to take down his website after he notices that it is not getting any traffic.

    2. TheShadowSpecter profile image85
      TheShadowSpecterposted 11 months agoin reply to this

      Misbah786?  You may also want to check to see if your article has been plagiarized on the Pinterest platform.  The article of mine that was plagiarized on that same website where your article was also plagiarized was also found to be stolen on the Pinterest platform.  I contacted their copyright violation team, and they took swift action to remove the plagiarized article.

      1. Misbah786 profile image86
        Misbah786posted 11 months agoin reply to this

        TheShadowSpecter how to check if it is Plagiarized on Pinterest or not?
        please can you guide me

        1. TheShadowSpecter profile image85
          TheShadowSpecterposted 11 months agoin reply to this

          What I did was type in the name of my article in the field of the Advanced Google search engine for "this exact word or phase," and then I typed in "Pinterest" in the field for "all these words."  I was able to pull up any incidents of plagiarism of my article on Pinterest.

          1. Misbah786 profile image86
            Misbah786posted 11 months agoin reply to this

            thanks a lot smile

  4. Misbah786 profile image86
    Misbah786posted 11 months ago

    https://hubpages.com/community/forum/35 … ost4176513

    This is the link to the forum post
    Check it out maybe it will help you

    1. TheShadowSpecter profile image85
      TheShadowSpecterposted 11 months agoin reply to this

      Misbah786?  Yeah, I did read that forum.  Thank you for letting me know anyhow.  If we all work together to put a stop to this man's copyright violations, eventually he'll be put out of business once and for all.

      1. Misbah786 profile image86
        Misbah786posted 11 months agoin reply to this

        I hope TheShadowSpector

  5. Joy At Home profile image91
    Joy At Homeposted 11 months ago

    Consider cutting out unnecessary words, as reading clear through the piece is a bit like slogging in spring mud. In order to get a feel for this, try reading your work aloud, carefully listening to the flow, or have a text-to-talk app or service read it to you. (I mean the type of app that a visually impaired person might use.)
    Secondly, as others have said, the article truly reads like a rant, and in spite of the topic being dear to my heart, I had to force myself to keep reading, as the tone felt enraged and pushy. (People would rather accept judgment calls from someone whose judgment is not clouded by bitterness.)
    Thirdly, stick to one of the several topics you've covered. You have the makings of several heart-felt articles at hand, but trying to put them all in one box (metaphorical) makes the package too heavy to lift. Some ideas are: 1) How to Identify Unscrupulous Mental Health Professionals, 2) Evidence That Aspergers Syndrome Is a Made Up Illness, 3) The Dark Historical Origins of Aspergers Syndrome, 4) Autistics and the Suicide Rate, 5) and a few more.
    Personally, I disagree with your premise and lines of reasoning as given in the article, except that many mental health professionals and parents alike are selfish and unscrupulous...but perhaps, with clearer writing, you can indeed save someone some grief. Good luck.

    1. TheShadowSpecter profile image85
      TheShadowSpecterposted 11 months agoin reply to this

      Joy?  I realize that perhaps my prose was a little rough around the edges at certain points, but the reason it was, was because this is something I feel passionate about.  If I sounded enraged, it was because it angered me that Jesse Kaplan died as a result of Asperger's Syndrome abuse and fraud.  However, I do appreciate everything that you said in your feedback, because when I was composing this article, I realized that there was going to be at least some pushback because of the sensitive nature of it.

      Until I had researched what I needed to do so to put this article together, I had never heard of Asperger's by proxy.  I actually consulted with someone here on the HubPages writing platform who had worked in the healthcare industry for over 30 years, and she told me that it was a subset of Factitious Disorder imposed upon another ("FDIA"), also known Munchausen Syndrome by proxy ("MSP").  What really shocked me was that afterwards, I communicated with others who said that they had Asperger's Syndrome and I brought up the subject of Asperger's by proxy to them; but they told me that they had never heard of it before I had told them about it.

      I think when I wrote this article, I was more dead set on raising public awareness than creating a pristine piece of literary work.  I am not denying that I did end up with somewhat of what can be best described as an omni-article instead of a solitary article.  In any event, I am glad that you provided me with your feedback.  I think that probably what I'm going to do is instead of resubmitting this article to a vertical Network Site, I'm going to submit a different article to one, that resembles more of what you described to me in terms of the kind of quality such an article would need to be featured on one of those sites.

    2. TheShadowSpecter profile image85
      TheShadowSpecterposted 10 months agoin reply to this

      Joy?  I was a little baffled about something.  In your post, you stated that people would rather accept judgment calls from someone whose judgment is not clouded by bitterness.  Does my judgment appear to be clouded by bitterness in my article?  I must admit that I did nothing to hide the fact that I was extremely furious after I had read the article about Jesse Kaplan's suicide as a result of Asperger's Syndrome fraud and abuse, and I was not very happy after I had read therein that a psychiatrist who was supposedly treating a patient for "Asperger's Syndrome" blamed him for being abused as a child.  I just thought that I would post this question to you, because I was a little curious to know what exactly you had meant by it.  Don't get me wrong.  I appreciate all the feedback you gave me, but I just needed that one clarification.

      1. PaulGoodman67 profile image95
        PaulGoodman67posted 10 months agoin reply to this

        This is a writing site. People are generally giving you feedback on the quality of your writing, not so much the content or subject matter. You seem to be conflating the two things. Writing is a pretty technical thing. Things like flow, rhythm, tone, and vocabulary all affect how easy a piece is to read. Editing is vital for most people (including me). Most of the changes I see suggested are not about subject matter or changing your opinions, it's about making the article more readable. If you just want to debate Asperger's Syndrome, I wonder if you should maybe consider moving the post to the Politics section?

        1. TheShadowSpecter profile image85
          TheShadowSpecterposted 10 months agoin reply to this

          Okay.  I can deal with that. :-)

 
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