I'd like feedback on my article: ATTENTION! SNORING ISN’T A HEALTHY INDICATOR!

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  1. jesypreethi profile image61
    jesypreethiposted 6 years ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article ATTENTION! SNORING ISN’T A HEALTHY INDICATOR! (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks!

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    1. poppyr profile image92
      poppyrposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Hi jesypreethi,

      First of all, don't have your title in all capitals. It looks unprofessional and capitals can indicate yelling. A better title could be "What Does My Snoring Really Mean?" or "Health Risks of Snoring and How to Improve Your Symptoms". Think about what people search on the internet to find your article and what they might like to click on.

      The grammar for the first sentence is strange. Try something like: "My wife often says I fall asleep and start snoring pretty quickly. Though I feel like I sleep very well, I don’t feel active throughout the following day. Why is that, doctor?"

      Make sure your grammar, spelling, and punctuation are perfect. For example, you don't need an apostrophe in "sign's" (the second subheading).

      I actually think you have too many subheadings.

      This has potential to be a nice hub. Good luck.

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      1. jesypreethi profile image61
        jesypreethiposted 6 years agoin reply to this

        Thank You..Will correct my writings

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  2. paperfacets profile image88
    paperfacetsposted 6 years ago

    Grammar needs to be worked on, as well as punctuation. Since your audience is Eastern point that out in the title and in the first paragraph. Make snoring awareness clearer in your message and expound on and organize the Eastern remedies in a list form.
    The narrative is a little too rambling.

    You have to start online writing somewhere. A Hub may be a good choice. Use the suggested reading that comes with the site to help you along with the process.

    Your article could be used in the new site niche RemedyGrove.com  Read the submissions already there to get an idea of what HPs is looking for.

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    1. jesypreethi profile image61
      jesypreethiposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Thank You .. I will work on it

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