HubNuggets in Wonderland

I should have known better - I mean, really! I should have known that falling asleep with the television on would likely give me weird dreams, but I was too busy convincing myself that I was only resting my eyes. I was going to continue watching the movie any minute, after all, I really wasn't that tired...

...The sky was cloudless and the most brilliant blue I had ever seen. It provided a glorious backdrop to the lush, green, tree-rimmed field I was strolling through. The sun was warm on my back and the very air around me shimmered with expectation...wait a minute...was that a rabbit wearing a collar and cuffs? Excuse me while I check this out...

"I'm late! I'm late! For a very important date! No time to say 'Hello'. Goodbye, I'm late, I'm late I'm late!"

"Hold up there, Fuzzy. Exactly what are you late for?"

"Harumph! That's De Greek Rabbit to you, and we are late for the HubNugget Wannabe's in Wonderland, of course! Don't you know anything?"

"Apparently not, but I have heard about HubNugget Wannabes. You see, I am a member of the HubPages community, but I'm not on the HubNugget Team.

"Well, you are now, and if you don't hurry up we are going to miss the celebration!"

The next thing I knew, I was pelting down the path after him, who, by the way, could zig as fast as a jackalope - and that's fast! I gave up trying to figure out which direction we were headed. The path twisted, turned and doubled back so much I was lost within minutes, but fortunately the DeGreek Rabbit stayed in sight...for the most part. It was a struggle to keep up, but I gave it my best shot.

Fuzzy bounded around a bush, and I lost sight of him for a few seconds. Puffing like a locomotive, I followed suit, and came to a screeching halt to avoid being skewered by Red-DoorMouse-Elf, Wielder of the Order of the Hat Pin, and self appointed guardian of the HubNuggets.

"Do you realize you were almost late?" Red-DoorMouse-Elf waved her hatpin under my nose. "You almost missed the first batch of HubNugget Wannabes! You will have to charm the rest from the Red Queen though before you leave Wonderland."

"Where are this week's HubNugget picks?" I asked, looking around at the long, seemingly empty table that perched somewhat precariously in the center of a ring of toadstools.

"You really are a "Newbie" aren't you? The Mad 'Sci-Pi' Hatter has them behind that large toadstool at the end of the table."

Sure enough, there, peeking out from underneath the largest toadstool I had ever seen, was the Mad 'Sci-Pi' Hatter.

A niggling memory at the very bottom of my head tried to tell me I had seen these faces before, but I managed to stuff it back in before it could confuse me even more.

The Mad 'Sci-Pi' Hatter stepped from behind her hiding place and in her hands was an ornate scroll which she proceeded to unroll as she walked to her place at the head of the table.

Solemnly, to the accompaniment of an invisible orchestra, she read the nominees from the list.

During a brief moment of lucidity, (I must have rolled over...) I told myself I had to be dreaming. However, as it was quite entertaining so far, I settled back down to sleep.

The dream wavered and changed, as dreams do when interrupted, and the images of the Mad 'Sci-Pi' Hatter's strange tea party melted away. In it's place was a wildly overgrown, and rather sinister looking pathway. Thin, dark, skeleton-like tree branches interlaced their bony limbs above my head, forming a warped checkerboard pattern of watery light on the uneven ground.

I crept down the path, hoping against hope that I wouldn't run into anything nasty around the next bend.

After what seemed like hours of tiptoeing, the path widened into a plaza - complete with marble floor tiles. What kind of place was this, and who were those twin china-headed dolls standing in the middle of it?

"It's about time you got here!" said the first twin.

"We were beginning to think you didn't have the moxie to free the HubNugget Wannabes!" exclaimed the other.

"Excuse me?" I said. "Moxie? What are you blathering on about?" I was a little miffed at being brought to task by these two Dresden-topped minions.

"Allow us to introduce ourselves. I am KoffeeKlatch-Dee, and my partner is KoffeeKlatch-Dum - at your service!"

I blinked at the introductions - this was just getting stranger by the minute...

"We have some news for you," they said in unison. "...if you want to best the Queen and free the Wannabes that is..."

"What the heck," I answered, "...'In for a penny, in for a pound', right?"

The twins steamed silently at me.

"I mean, I might as well, because I am here anyway." I said.

"Ah," nodded the twins, threatening to spill the steaming black brew from their brims. "Listen carefully."

"Beware the Jason-Jaberwock, the jaws that market, the SEO that catches, beware the Jujub-Maddie Bird and shun the frumious Bander-Smith-snach."

Giggling, they turned and skipped down the path, leaving me more confused than ever. I ran to catch up with them, but when I turned the corner they had disappeared, with only a scrap of paper fluttering on the ground to mark their presence. On it, written in bright red ink was the second batch of HubNugget Wannabes.

I must have rolled over again, because the forest shimmered, switching to a manicured lawn rimmed with red and white roses. At the edge, standing on a pair of stepladders, two red playing cards were painting the white roses, red!

I turned to go back and nearly bumped into a diminutive, red-coiffed lady wearing a golden crown on her fiery locks.

"Off with her head!" she yelled, pointing a pink flamingo at me.

I was flabbergasted! "Excuse me?" I challenged. Just who do you think you are?"

"You dare talk back to me, Zsuzsy-RedQueen?" she hollered. "Guards - off with her head!"

A dozen red playing cards rushed to surround me. Thinking fast, I curtsied quickly and said,"Please forgive your humble servant, Your Majesty! I don't know what I was thinking!"

I risked a quick peek at her face and continued. "Would Her Highness be interested in a "royal" game of croquette? Perhaps a wager? How about for the HubNugget Wannabes?"

"Done!" Zsuzsy-RedQueen thundered. "Give the girl...er...cat a flamingo! Take your places!"

Everyone sprang into action, a flamingo was thrust in my paws...hands?...and the game began. With a little help from my poor flamingo and the hedgehog-ball, I managed to best Zsuzsy-RedQueen and win the Wannabes. I snatched the list from the Captain of the Guards and dashed from the playing field with the words, "Off with her head!" ringing in my ears.

As soon as my feet touched the path, a vision of snow-white loveliness appeared before me.

"Congratulations Enelle-Alice. You won the HubNuggets from Zsuzsy-RedQueen. I must say, I love your dress."

"Dress? I'm wearing a dress? Wait a minute...who are you?"

"I'm Ripple-WhiteQueen, Zsuzsy-RedQueen's sister. Thanks to you, everyone can enjoy this weeks batch of new writers and help pick the Wannabe winners."

I was too busy trying to wrap my whiskers around the fact that I was wearing a dress to pay too much attention. I spotted a well and dashed to the edge to see if what she said was true.

Sure enough, when I looked down the well I could clearly see my reflection. Oh My Goodness! Where in HubNugget Haven did that dress come from? I really was Enelle-Alice!Talk about a fashion faux pas. Even I knew that it clashed with my hat!

The sight was so shocking it startled me awake, and I sat bolt-upright in horror. The final credits were scrolling up the television screen accompanied by the unseen orchestra.

What a strange dream! I was a member of the HubNugget Team! How ridiculous! Snapping off the television, I rolled over and drifted back to sleep with the words, "Off with her head!" still ringing in my ears.