The Exclusive Human Appetite: Money, Power, Sex, Alcohol, Drugs, Food, Guilt

Because of the many unanticipated, disappointing, discouraging, heartbreaking, defeating and perplexing circumstances that have arisen in your life, you could have very well developed a personality that projects pessimism, sadness, intolerance, cynicism, indifference and a certain amount of ungoverned irritability.

In other words, instead of vibrating as the highly charged sexually erotic artistic magnet you inherently are created to be, you have become bland and lifeless. In addition to being stoically numbed and self-servingly apathetic, you add insult to injury by feeding voraciously upon an ‘exclusive human appetite’ like a blood starved vampire in hopes of alleviating the burden of unfulfilled dispassionate living.

Somewhere between the ages of 8 and 14, you nurtured and cradled a ‘hope of authentic artistic expression’. This inherently prompted passion was fueled by pure raw unadulterated sexual energy. Sacred energy linked to dreams only you could envision.

These dreams did not pan out to your visionary expectations. So, instead of pausing patiently {patience is indeed the greatest virtue} reevaluating the seemingly unwarranted road your feet guided you to follow, (endowed with mysterious curiosity) you buried your deflated head like an ostrich.

Feeling as if you had been robbed of the very thing you desired more than anything else in the whole wide world, you gave up internally angry . With head in sand, you grew disgusted, depressed, disappointed, defensive, and determined to ‘prove something’! By hook or crook, you deliberately, defiantly decided, “You would have what you wanted; no matter what it took to get it.”

In the meantime, your character wilted while you projected a victim's suffering.

This unfortunate projection is not necessarily accurate, though. Behind the façade, you are extremely inquisitive by nature, intelligent, jovial, warm, sexually attractive, sensually explosive, intuitively powerful, and can naturally delve into the bottom of matters, with fierce enthusiasm.

Your joy for experiencing life to the fullest is unsurpassed. Like the most experienced skilled investigators of the FBI, when so inclined, you are as appealing, luring, and productive as an irresistible pheromone. But, herein lays the problem, genuine inclination. Inclination involves interest. What is it that truly interests you?

Whatever it was back then-----------IT still is!

Your instinctive interest in the matters of various world religions, politics, law, science, math, literature, and philosophy will bring to you a successful arena to probe and apply your varied talents. In other words, the realm of the esoteric can hold ‘many a fine secret’ for you. Art, music and drama lie beneath the surface of these subjects. In order to write, which also, is a dream of yours, you must first read.

The task of keeping you interested, however, and involved is no easy feat to master. Changeable and moody, you are adaptable enough to blow where the notion strikes but too set in your ways with a fixed means of concrete expectation to properly enjoy the experience of unadulterated living.

Unfortunate or not, you long since sublimated your purest desires. Nevertheless: Red Alert; the season is changing. What has brought you thus far will continue on to the finish line. “…those who endure to the end; the same shall be saved…” {paraphrased}

You had no way of knowing (and still don’t) why things have occurred in your life the way they have. But, no longer do you have to ‘sell out.’ You are capable of realizing your most cherished dreams and aspirations.

You are here today, reading these words because you NEEDED asked, and solicited a sign of some sort that ‘it’ could in fact be possible. It’s more than possible; it’s probable. The truth stands while the rest falls away. Right. I hear you sarcastically remarking, “Where’s the catch?”

The catch is: De-assing. You can no longer consume guilt of any kind, from anyone, anywhere.

You are at a point in your life where what once lured you no longer brings a faint flicker. You are at a breaking point and instead of fearing the collapse, embrace it. It’s perfectly alright to feel the pressure of ‘impending doom.’ The doom is nothing more than you breaking through the ‘walls of collected conditioned emotional debris’ that no longer hold merit for you. You are like an anxious restless Harley Davidson Rider, who needs the feel of the intense sun soaked wind to beat his face, along with the primal sound of the muffler rumbling beneath his loins. Your body craves powerful sacred sexual stimulation!  Each morning you arise with an undisclosed sensation calling your name into an artistic arena of lucid involvement. You look around and say, “What am I doing with my life?  This just is not working.”  It’s nothing personal, mind you; it’s deeply spiritual.

You think you KNOW how things are supposed to be accomplished and you like doing it your own way. But, your way has somehow slipped into a monotonous run of mundane affairs. (More, now, for the pleasing of another than yourself) You have lost sight of what’s makes you motor turn.  Compromise is not a word you are accustomed to using or demonstrating. But, instead of it being used to your own advantage in artistic expression, it has become the source of irritation.  You use it as an avoidance to get close.  How strange it is that even though you like to be the life of the party, an awesome price is exacted in the coins of disinterested energy expressed, has weaseled its way into your front door. So, with the entrance of your uninvited guest, comes phoniness!  You tend to not know how or when enough is enough.  You keep pushing.  Having problems with sleeping and relaxing, you go and go and go until you literally drop.  Why? Because, you are trying to run from you; it doesn’t work.

When is the last time you allowed yourself a truly indulgent delicious meal?  [Without discounting it or tabulating the calorie content} Life is not strictly about how much you can modify it, reduce it, or schedule it into your ‘border patrol’ of consciousness. Man is innately endowed with desire.  Pleasure rules. Passion dictates.  When you try to sublimate these desires, your world goes to the vultures. Everything becomes distorted and crippled.  It’s plain stupidity to try to conceal your actions under the guise of something else. You are what you are. You want what you want. You do what you do. You act as you act. You follow your instinct. Who are you kidding?

Your personal burdens and responsibilities are sacred and you are not accustomed to shirking them. At times, you tend to feel guilty, however, to the point of staled uninspired emotion paralyzing you.  It would prove beneficial if you would learn to remember why you are doing what you are doing at any given minute. Stop with the idea that something is going to come from all of this.  Nothing’s coming that you don’t already possess.  If you continue to do things just to be thought of as a ‘nice and decent’, ‘loving and compassionate’ person you will no doubt resent the situation and people involved. Become more honest with who you are and what you are truly all about even if it shocks you and the others. It will liberate you from the excessive stringy obligations you feel that are at present stifling. 

As selfish as it may sound to you, Life is a one man show. When you are authentic, your life reflects it in every avenue. Others respond to you more authentically. You are able to connect, live, laugh, engage in sex in a more passionate and meaningful way. Levels of unexpressed vitality wait in the balances for your opting to exercise. Why be such a bore? Why not open up to the raw ecstasy inside of you? Who are you trying to convince that you are not a savaging erotically imbued individual? You’re not dead, yet. Who can do what you can do like you can do it? You’ve got so much unfiltered passion in you. You must tap into it. Until you do, delays, aggravations, complications, headaches, health problems, and obstacles will plague you. Stop lying to yourself. It’s no longer fun.

The fact is: you have an entire unexplored personal agenda waiting to be excavated. How much time do you really have to invest in projects that no longer stimulate your soul? Get real. Stop lally-gagging. Get up and get busy with those projects that will astonish even your closest associates. You’re unmotivated because you are trying to slide through life without an investment of your best self. (No morals involved) You’ve never cared up until this point, why jump tracks now? You can’t change horses in the middle of a stream, my mother always told me. You do possess a clever inventive mind: use it.

There’s something you’ve wanted to investigate, nagging at you. But, for 10000 reasons (including 1000 excuses) you try to tell yourself it’s ridiculous to follow that, now. No. it’s not! Nothing could be further from the truth. It’s the only thing that will bring back life into your dried up bones. It’s the sweet fragrance that only you can smell. It draws you like a moth to a flame. The longer you deny the reality of this one need; you will remain dissatisfied in every aspect of your life. Become conscious of just how much this desire infiltrates your mind. Every where you look, there are obvious clues staring you in the face. One of the reasons you use for not pursuing your dream is money. You say you don’t have the money. Ha!

Money is a funny creature. It shows up for authentic desires. It shies away from false commands and weak indecisive demands. When you finally admit in your soul, declare outwardly what it is you want ‘more than anything’ else in the whole wide world, the money will arrive. Don’t worry about how it will come. That’s not you affair. You follow your passion as a star struck crazed sexually imbued artist and then you shall materialize the means. Nothing short of pentrating the veil will work. You must be fully committed to your one desire. Every act in creation is a powerful sacred sexual manifestation. You are a divine magician; {Master of Divine Essence} create what you will! There is one prerequisite, however; you must become ruthless in your pursuit of removing layers of artificiality. You will no longer be made to feel guilty or responsible.

When you purposely affirm in your heart that you will no longer assume guilt over any matter [before, now or henceforth] a tremendous breakthrough is entertained. A time warped hole, as such, will be instantaneously created; ready to be filled to capacity with new spontaneous sensual artistic desire. Along with the removal of guilt; responsibility, remorse, regret, unsubstantiated relished reverence will leave hurriedly. In its place, authenticity arrives bringing a liberating freedom unlike anything you’ve experienced since you were 8 years old! Because you’ve feasted upon the power you thought you needed to exercise control and authority, money you either believed you had to have in order to be important or convinced yourself that “IT” possessed, uninteresting sex which fed neither your body nor your mind, alcohol and drugs which were mere substitutes for genuine pleasure, food used as a cheap 2 dollar whore’ in the interim, you will experience an unprecedented freedom which could almost be labeled as dangerous. A person who can no longer be bribed, lured, hypnotized or generated to respond on the outside is truly esoterically dangerous!