How Can I Change My Man?

Source

How Can I change my Man? Thanks from South Dakota, Larry.

Ops! Larry? I cannot help you much in here. 'Sizes' and 'embarrassing situations' cannot be discussed in here. You know how that bot from Google can be!! But I can give you a hint: By the 'particular way' you write, you certainly need a better cowboy with a better 'grip.' Need I say more? Is up to you if you are bored, 'disgusted' or maybe cheated. just work on your attributes... Do you need a job? Or does he need a 'job' of his own? That 'job' at dairy Queen cannot really pay the bills. I know..I know..! You cannot procreate and you might have to adopt. If the globe doesn't fit it, then quit it. Adoption is an option. But be careful with your choices. Raising a kid takes a lifetime, and you should make up your mind. Thanks, and hope you've got the message.

I have two boyfriends and I cannot change them for nothing. 'Help' from Matamoros Mexico

The rest of the letter is very graphical and we cannot show them in here. Seems that you need real 'help.' Do not run away with a Coyote. He might end up in the middle of the Highway down in Monterrey. If you cannot beat them, join them.

You just need your own Uzi and that AK-47. We know sex is important in a relationship... but the pictures you sent us, are way too much. Next time give them a shower and we can study better the 'evidence.' Our best advice would be to work at a butchery. You get paid legally, and you don't have to run from the Pacific to the Atlantic, and come back to Sonora. Settle down and take it easy!

My boyfriend brings a new car every weekend. Should I keep him?-- Model GT from Indiana

Did you mean keep the car or the guy? I think you are just keeping up with our Humor, Model GT. Is he a car dealer? Or the other kind of 'dealer'? "You will know them by their act," said grandma when election year was around.

If your man wants to share too much 'powder' and less power, then you need to do your math: Do you need a man, or you need that cash in his pocket?? If you are in for the money, just send those 50 bucks for charity as a proof of 'purchase.' That would prove these AdSense geeks wrong. We can send our car model if you want..?

Source

My boyfriend hits the 'shirt' out of me, but I'm still with him -- Unchained melody from Montana

You are not alone 'Unchained'!! The IRS does the same but is 'legit' I know right? What's love got to do with it ! SHOOT! In a way we all are masochists and come for more. We all need some kind of release of energy. But if you want to pay him back, just get ready for the big scape.

Start watching 'sleeping with the enemy' and 'enough' with JLO. Every now and then try to cheat on the price of your Kotex, and that muscle milk powder of his. The guy from GNC can help you with that. Good luck... and hit hard!

Source

I'm a guy. But my wife wants me to change. Should I? Undecided from New York

Did you? Did she? I'm lost on this one! You want to change your clothes? Probably ways...? In any case, I would have to ask HP moderators to stop this semi-spamming questions from reaching us. We don't think you belong to each other; just a hunch, ya know? To be on the safe side, change for your own good, and change your whole life. She would kill ya? Then you can get in touch with the first couple I answered to. If YOU want their Email and phone number, send those 9 page disclaimer forms back to us. Signed them all! Thanks!

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Comments 13 comments

raciniwa profile image

raciniwa 4 years ago from Naga City, Cebu

yeah, yeah...i want to keep that car...can i have it via courier?


Lord De Cross profile image

Lord De Cross 4 years ago Author

Lol! Raciniwa. You could buy a cheaper model in your area. But thanks for reading us friend with no end!


Marcy Goodfleisch profile image

Marcy Goodfleisch 4 years ago from Planet Earth

Are you sure this guy doesn't steal those cars? I'd classify this hub as fiction if it weren't for the fact I've actually seen these types of questions on various sites. Makes you wonder what sort of things we don't hear about, doesn't it? Fun hub! Or maybe scary?


Lord De Cross profile image

Lord De Cross 4 years ago Author

Ops! Marcy is here. Shoot! I gotta check my semicolons again! She is a pro in editing, and she is kind enough to drop a comment about our ranting of the day. Thanks Marcy from Texas!

LORD


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

this is so funny.. I love this Lord.. You are the master at this writing..like this..

Voted up and sharing

Debbie


Ardie profile image

Ardie 4 years ago from Neverland

Lord! You made me spit soda on my computer monitor I was laughing so hard - I started laughing at the beginning and I just kept going :) You are too much my friend.


Lord De Cross profile image

Lord De Cross 4 years ago Author

Thanks Debbie, and thanks to our red head Ardie. These hubs are made with a chuckle here and there. Is funny how the stories come alive in front of us. Just have to be quick to write them down before the essence of the message gets lost. Thanks for your smiles and your friendship.

LORD


billybuc profile image

billybuc 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

Truly...truly funny stuff here! I'm so grateful I wasn't drinking my tea while reading this or I would have shorted out the computer.

Great hub my friend!


marcoujor profile image

marcoujor 4 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

Oh LORD,

Promise to keep my secret... this nurse has finally run outta diapers and has just plain given up!

But I sure do appreciate the laugh, honey baby!


Lord De Cross profile image

Lord De Cross 4 years ago Author

Hey Billybuc, Same thing hapenned to Ardie. An you wer smart enough to hold that tea aside. Great comments as usual William. You have a wonderful woman... wait! I was answering back, and I ended up praising your couple. Sorry for drifting away. Thanks anyway!


Lord De Cross profile image

Lord De Cross 4 years ago Author

MarcouJor,

So sweet of you for taking your time and reading us. A mind can be so unpredictable. I guess that's how scripts for comedy are born. Thanks for sharing...what? Well hun, the diapers can wait, but emotions can soak intentions. I don't even know why I wrote the last paragraph Maria. Thanks again!

LORD


bodylevive profile image

bodylevive 4 years ago from Loachapoka, Alabama

Wow! The lame stuff people ask you. What ever happened to common sense? Is this funny or what---You should write a book and entitle it "The lame stuff people ask." Better yet, you probably could sell it! Anywho, I enjoyed reading it, glad I didn't have anything in my mouth.


Lord De Cross profile image

Lord De Cross 4 years ago Author

Bodylevive, thanks for commenting and making us smile as well! Gee! People asked, and we had to answer. Some lines are humorous as you can see!

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