My Name Is Ralwus

My name is Ralwus.

Nope! I didn’t misspell it.

And I’m a lot like a lot,

But you can’t tell it!

I’m my own man,

I drive my own train.

I’ve done it all,

And there’s not much more to gain.

Full speed ahead.

Heap some coals on that fire.

We ain’t done yet,

And I have enough desire.

Give me the sun!

Who’s the one,

Who says,

It can’t be done?

Roll on! By the empty box cars,

And the shanties!

I need to wipe my eyes darling.

How about give me your panties?!

Is that surprise in your eyes?

Just wait till you know me.

You’ll be laughing so hard!

I’ll make you pee!


It was long ago,

I left the highway,

Better than Frank Sinatra,

Having it his way.


My main mode of transport,

Is the written word, the verse.

I tell it like it is.

I might just curse.

It’s all fun,

Unless my butt’s in a rut.

There’s many that say,

I’m a clear-cut nut.

But I write the songs,

Don’t care about a nay-sayer,

I’ll write what I please.

I ain’t running for Mayor.

But I push a lot of buttons,

That I know are right.

I’m a lover not a fighter,

But I know how to fight.

Shovel the coal.

Let's get down the tracks.

We’ve had enough of the world,

Breaking our backs.

There's a load of manure,

Waiting ahead.

I’ll get all I can get,

Watch the manure I spread!

Shovel that coal!

Let’s get on with it!

I’m laughing and loving,

                                         And still full of


Micky Dee

A couple of us thought we might have a big old "Ralwus Party" so we  called about all of Ralwus' friends.

50 Caliber's computer was down so I had to write him a letter.

I knew it would get there in plenty of time.

Of course 50 Caliber said he'd ride his motorcycle out there. That started a bunch of others to want to ride a special machine out there too.

50 put new pipes on his bike though. His hearing ain't what it used to be.

Wayne Brown
Wayne Brown

Wayne Brown jumped right on that and got his machine tuned up.

Wayne Brown's new bike is really different from his older bike.

Yep! This bike belongs to  saddlerider.

Seems that dude is always compensating!

Ralwus' bike!

Ralwus was thinking about selling his bike as it was getting hard to tune.

Yep! This is Micky's bike.

It was custom made to go as far as the gas held out.

This was the most popular bike with most of the guys.

But our guys are truly patriotic!

Seemed everyone had a date but Micky Dee!

My bike is a one-seater anyway!

It was a great party until this guy showed up!

Yep! As you might have guessed it.

Things started getting out of hand!

The cops come in and it's all over now!

I wasn't doing NOTHING!

I was taking pictures like I always do and this was the last I remember!

Another friend of Ralwus!
Another friend of Ralwus!
It was a rough crowd!
It was a rough crowd!

The lady fans of Ralwus are missing because there are just TOO many!

I'd wear my fingers to the bone putting all of the friends of Ralwus here.

So go over to where Ralwus is and you'll meet hundreds to thousands!

Just be careful! He's got a bunch of tricks!
Just be careful! He's got a bunch of tricks!

Lynyrd Skynyrd - Simple Man

Comments 81 comments

Lady Guinevere profile image

Lady Guinevere 6 years ago from West By God

OMG!!! Way to funny and the pictures are priceless!!!

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

Lady Guinevere! Thank you Dear! Was that you riding that patriotic bike?

tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 6 years ago from Normal, Illinois

I love this kind of hubs with lots of pictures! Well done, Micky Dee. I see that you write a lot!

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

Tim-Tim! I miss you! You be careful over at Ralwus' place!

lorlie6 profile image

lorlie6 6 years ago from Bishop, Ca

Once again, Micky writes a great hub-no surprises here! You're the best, my friend-keep it up!!!!

lalesu profile image

lalesu 6 years ago from south of the Mason-Dixon

Mr Micky, you are the Breeze!...and your ode to Charlie is right as rain.

"I’m a lover not a fighter,

But I know how to fight."

I put up my dukes and pushed your buttons! ~ Laura

saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 6 years ago

Yo Micky Dee a great post, loved all the pics and a great tribute to our good old son, you forgot to put his purple lizard on the bike with him:0)

CC is the man and a good soul, just like the Micky man. peace my brother and thank you for putting me in that HUGE mother bike, you know I like the power under my butt.

I drove all over your buttons, just for the fun of it:)) and because I can. wink

Lady Guinevere profile image

Lady Guinevere 6 years ago from West By God

Micky Dee, how'sd you ever guess. LOL My daughter would always tell me that she was WonderWoman and I wasn't. LOL I AM I be riding that big patriotic bike through the annals of time and beyond!! Ride On, Ride On!!

Sa`ge profile image

Sa`ge 6 years ago from Barefoot Island

dang it had to go log in forgot to. now i am later then late. I know Ralwus will love this bit he will have something in his eye, I know I do. Good job M. I missed the party but can I dance on your buttons? Love You! :D

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

Look at all this love for a Ralwus!

Lorlie! I do love you my Dear!

lalesu- "She calls me the Breeze! I'll just blow on down the road!"

saddlerider- I still say you're over-compensating!

Lady Guinevere -VROOOOOOM!

Sa`ge- you're right on time. This train ain't leaving without you!

Coolmon2009 profile image

Coolmon2009 6 years ago from Texas, USA

I enjoyed reading and viewing your article. I like the outhouse on wheels. At least the rider wont have to go far if he/she has to go.. Thanks for making me laugh :)

ralwus 6 years ago

OMG! What can I say about this? It is something unexpected and wonderful, and those pictures are just priceless man. Then you had to go and put on that Lynyrd Skynyrd song on. Mick, this is what HP is all about, a great community. Ya brought a tear to ol' ralwus' eye ya did. Love ya man old son. Gee I have the best fans in the world, strike that, followers now. Thanks so much Micky Dee, you have raised my spirits high tonight. yes. Charlie

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

Yo Coolmon!!! You know I love you Dear! God bless you. I'll need that bike!!!

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

Ralwus, BrotherMan! Everybody knows you deserve someting beautiful and funny RIGHT back at you!

You Sir Ralwus, BrotherMan, inspire.

You turn out Rembrants, Monets, and some Grandma Moses with your pen and keyboard.

You inspire! You inspire Micky Dee to try to please Ralwus!!!

WhenI grow up - I want to be more like you!

Thank you BrotherMan.

Your friends can talk to you right here or pop on over to your place. You answer them back. This is dedicated to the RALWUS! Your hub Bub! They can hear a tune in the process!

God bless Ralwus!!!

katiem2 profile image

katiem2 6 years ago from I'm outta here

What a nice tribute to Ralwus. I love the song Simple Man, its a great guideline for all men to follow! Just like Ralwus when men keep it simple, straight and to the point people see them as anything other than simple. Great tribute indeed and some after party.

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

Yo Katie! Let's try to dance to that "Simple Man"! Let's toast the "Simple Man"!

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

Yo Ralwus! Word UP Blood! We are your fans! We are your family too BrotherMan!

Petra Vlah profile image

Petra Vlah 6 years ago from Los Angeles

I loved your bike Micky, but not to invite me to the party...I just don't know... Was that a guy only party?

Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 6 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

Oh hot damm! That Skynyrd thang was you Simple guys in a nut shell. Whoo Hoo and Yee Ha! Love ya'll.

zzron profile image

zzron 6 years ago from Houston, TX.

Great hub Mickey Dee, I loved the Lynyrd Skynyrd videos.

ralwus 6 years ago

Just loved those bikes Micky, especially the one ya built for me. Now I see the second video below. Must give it a listen too. Love ya man. Hubpages is just awesome. yes. CC

queenbe profile image

queenbe 6 years ago from NY

Wanted to go. Said I'd go. But had no dough.

Googled a map and printed it out. May be the right address I don't really know. Skeptical at best so I'll rest.

Wanted to go, said I'd go. Want to meet "the man" who is sick of what we don't know. But alas still no dough. So I missed out on the best of times and friends who are "rich" in the written word of the best there is on earth. Friendship. Best to all especially our beloved 'ralwus.'

jill of alltrades profile image

jill of alltrades 6 years ago from Philippines

Really enjoyed this! All the rides! What a party and tribute to ralwus!!!

Great hub Mickey Dee!

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

Yo Petra!!! Saddlerider was in charge of the lady invites (that's my story)! That ralwus has TOO many women!!! Petra - I would have come by and picked you up! I had room on my handle-bars! You would have like that body search though! It's better you came to the after-party! You know how Ralwus , Wayne Brown, Saddlerider, zzron, ect., an nauseum - you know how these wild men are. We needed some Carolina Muscle or something!!! You know I love you Petra!

Look at ALL THE LOVE for that Ralwus!!!

Austinstar! The Queenbe! Jill of alltrades! My my!

Roll on Ralwus!!!

Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 6 years ago from Wales

Just read a hub by you Micky

You really are nuts!!

But your hubs are so quirky

They drag me out of my ruts.

This one on ralwus

Has got to be your best.

But you've made me miss my bus

And spill tea down my vest.

Those pictures are hilarious

And oh so funny

Don't ever become serious

Just carry on being Micky.

Take care and God Bless.

richtwf profile image

richtwf 6 years ago

Another great hub brotherly Micky

With sprightly words of poetry

and trademark splattering of wonderful imagery

accompanied by lovely tune of simplicity

An impressive tribute to a man named Ralwus

It seems a little odd and so want to say walrus

So we thank you again Sir Micky man for delighting us

And it's time I better befriend this Ralwus - I guess

And my final thanks goes personally to thee

for introducing me to another colourful hubbing personality

Your brotherly scribes


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

Yo Eiddwen!!! You wrote this beautiful piece here! Oh Man- I love it! Oh my Dear! I must break from fun to say that, unfortunately I will get serious. My friends know it. I don't have much choice about what I write. This hub FELL on me yesterday. I did this all yesterday. I have two other hubs that rate over "60" in the "account". I have one I may publish today. I hate to take thunder away from this and Ralwus.

I am LED to write what I write and whom I write about. I don't have choices. Sure- I can fight my "lead" but it's not wise.

I will write a political hub soon. It will floor me. The aftermath of writing it and answering insults and real comments will drain me to the floor.

I have no choice! The world is suffering. God's people - Christians, Muslims, Jews, Atheists- they ALL belong to God. And yes! Atheists are God's people too.

There is a common ground that is accepted by my God almighty that includes ALL! Yes! Yes! Even Atheists keep that Golden Rule! And that is God's greatest LAW! There is no doubt! It cannot be debated. Every religion has that law. Until that law is upheld- we will elect lawyers to rule us. They swill say "I want smaller government, lower taxes." "I am a Washington outsider", they will boast! "It's time we sent those people in Washington a message!" They will say stuff like this until they believe it themselves. They are professional liars and their jobs are to create laws that are GOOD for the American people and YES, the entire planet. Their job also - to tear down, get around every law - for filthy lucre. Yes Ma'am. Unfortunately I will get serious. But- enough here! Let's party down at Ralwus' place! God bless you Eiddwen! And when I say God bless you - I don't mean that flippantly.

I want God to bless you and Ralwus and...and...

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

richtwf! Oh my goodness! Just like your hubs! You know what to say! God bless you BrotherMan Rich!

ralwus 6 years ago

Wow, Eiidwen and richtwf waxed all poesy, oh, and queenbe too. Great job Mick pulling them into our wee partay! LOL

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

Yo Ralwus! You see all those people on your train! Lots of folks clackety-clacking! Everybody off at Ralwus World!

justom profile image

justom 6 years ago from 41042

Oh shit mon, I can't stop laughing long enough to even comment. This is frikin' hilarious and the photos kick arse!! I was feelin' a bit on the other side today, thanks for bringin' me back!!!! Peace!! brother mon, Tom

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

You've got it Brother Mon! You're on board Tom! Let me get you a bike. On second thought, you might need something a little faster than mine. 50 Caliber better pick one out for you!

SilverGenes 6 years ago

OH where do I start on this one? The photos were hilarious! Lynyrd Skynyrd - wow! But the boys are the best part! Amazing hub!

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

My my! Here's that babe of so many boys! I can see there ought to be a "girls" hub down the road. Help Ralwus!

ralwus 6 years ago

LOL Your on yer own with this one Mick.

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

Up against the wall again! The dang hub would take up all of hubpages!

Hummingbird5356 profile image

Hummingbird5356 6 years ago

You always get good photos to go with your hubs. That bull picture is good. I have seen some of those pics of bikes before but they are always good to see again. I would like to see the after picture of those people throwing the buckets of water. That must have been a shock.

Very good hub. I haven't read Ralwus's hubs till now. I will go over there and have a look.

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

Yo Hummingbird! Fly with us my Dear! Ride a little on that Ralwus train! I'd better go look at those beautiful pictures you have!

Hummingbird5356 profile image

Hummingbird5356 6 years ago

Yes, that train is amazing too!! How did so many people manage to get on it?

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

Hummingbird- people will do anything to see Ralwus.

They've tried to get him to move into the Smithsonian Institute. He's just that er...unique!

Petra Vlah profile image

Petra Vlah 6 years ago from Los Angeles

Ok, since Ken is at fault, you are off the hook for right now, but keep me in mind for the women hub jou just promised SiverGenes

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

Loose lips sink ships don't they?

always exploring profile image

always exploring 6 years ago from Southern Illinois


A really fun hub. I loved the surprise picture.

Love and Peace

vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 6 years ago from Nashville Tn.

Mickey - you are the King of comedy! I howled at the pictures. They are just great. You are filled with talent you sweet man. Loved this and love you.

Freya Cesare profile image

Freya Cesare 6 years ago from Borneo Island, Indonesia

But Didn't Rawlus said he want to added Walrus at first but the he misspelled it? LOL And why chose toilet bike? Saddlerider bike seem more great to ride. LOL

You always able to make me laugh, Sir. Thank you.

Now, I do chicken dance for you too. :D :D :D

carolina muscle profile image

carolina muscle 6 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina

hahaha... funny and cool !!!

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

Yo Always Exploring! I like that pic too. Love and Peace!

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

Yo vocalcoach! You are so very kind. Alas, I am but the court jester. The wizards of comedy are the ones I talk about sometimes like the Ralwus here! I just stir their magic. God bless you Dear!

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

Right Freya Cesare! I'm sure Ralwus got something in his "chaser" or some smoke in his eyes and hit that dang "R" instead of the "W". They are close together. He may have been drinking a little tonic, just for a cold or something and - dang. He's stuck as a RALWUS now!

That toilet bike is mine. I'll be the village idiot here. I am in real life.

Freya! You did the "chicken dance" on my buttons?

I'm coming right over to your place and I'll be doing the "chicken dance" and the "chicken strut" all over the buttons on your hubs!

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

Yo Carolina!!! I know you have a motorcycle and I wanted to put one up here toward the end but honestly brother- I ran out of gas! I saw where I was getting long on this one and my back could take no more and here we are! You know I'm in and out of Carolina all the time!

Freya Cesare profile image

Freya Cesare 6 years ago from Borneo Island, Indonesia

Yep, chicken dance indeed. Want to do Tango, but the said Tango is for two, so I chose the easy one. LOL

Village idiot? Lol. I never meet an idiot who can write as beautiful as you are. :)

epigramman profile image

epigramman 6 years ago

....there is one reason for me to say this - beautiful man= is none other Sir Dee!!!

and walrus, I mean Ralwus - lol lol - well he writes like Eric Dolphy plays - and if anyone knows about Jazz here - would certainly know that only Gods play or write like that!!!

epigramman profile image

epigramman 6 years ago

Part II comment - listen everybody Sir Dee brings the sunshine out in everybody - he is beauty personified - and the righteous Ralwus makes James Joyce sound like Dr. Suess!!!!

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

Epigramming Epigramman! I was hoping you'd give us a hand! We need to shovel some more coal on that fire! It's the ralwus dude we so admire! God bless you Epi!

ralwus 6 years ago

LOL yes, ralwus, I am kind of dyselxic I think. That's why I am able to come up with all that funny spelling. I have been enjoying the many comments and those pictures you have here. Love that girls ass with the pole in her cheeks and I just now noticed that mailbox is a .45 automatic. Kewl and just fitting for Dusty. Where is he anyway?

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

Dusty the actual live-action hero? He's probably rescuing someone lost in the desert or something. I may have said too much for the private guy. But- that's what he's been and that's what he is- a hero.

Beth100 profile image

Beth100 6 years ago from Canada

What it is about Ralwus?!? He's so charismatic and I'm glad that I'm not the only one crazy about him!! Nice Mickey Dee!

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

Yikes Beth! Could I buy you a doughnut or a house or something?

I'm just jerking your chain Beth Dear. We all know that pretty is as pretty does!

That ralwus is one of those enigma things. He's an enigma wrapped in a puzzle, smothered in a secret sauce, hidden in a maze!

prasetio30 profile image

prasetio30 6 years ago from malang-indonesia

My uncle, I love your word to adore him. That's you, my humble uncle from another world (outside my country....hahaha) but still in my heart. You are so sweet to treat others with your word. I am not doubt your reputation in writing poem about charismatic person like him. I hope someday I'll become the candidate for your poem. Micky...... you are the best. My love, my pray always for you. God bless you and take care!

.........your nephew, Prasetio............

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

You are my Nephew! God will have me write about my Nephew! You and I might go for a bike ride. I love you Nephew!

aware profile image

aware 6 years ago from West Palm Beach Florida.

Smiles. Feels glad to have your ear. And will always lend you mine.

nice to meet you . again


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

I've never felt so aware! Throw my brain in a hurricane, the blind can my eyes, You can have both of my ears, if you don't mind the size. Thank you Ray!

tonymac04 profile image

tonymac04 6 years ago from South Africa

Charlie is such a great dude! And so are you Micky Dee for this awesome tribute nto an awesome Hubber! Thanks brotherman!

Love and peace


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

BrotherMan Tonymac! I love you BrotherMan.

You are so WHACK! You are the gift, that keeps on giving, and you make life so great to be living!

Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 6 years ago from Texas

Yo're so fine.. You're so fine you blow my mind...Yo Micky! Great poem dude and a fantastic party at the end. I really liked that bike you found for me! And.. what a great tribute to our good friend and poet extraordinaire, Charlie "CC" ralwus" going to the Oscars man!

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

Yo Wayne Brown! You're late! Did your new bike break down? You didn't have ride that cow-bike in did you? You know- I think we can extend the front end on that new bike if it's not long enough! I saw the wind blew your hat off- I'm glad you got it back!

Peggy W profile image

Peggy W 6 years ago from Houston, Texas

This was great! You found the most amazing pictures to go along with your fine tribute to CC Ralwus. Haven't visited him in a while...heading over there after I do a little button dance right here. You are the best!

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

Oh Peggy! I just just this fun stuff! It was a bit of work but it was fun knowing where it was going and getting there. God bless Dear! You know I loved that latest with your garden pictures!

50 Caliber profile image

50 Caliber 6 years ago from Arizona

Mic, late to the party, as normal I see, but you dun good for Bro Charlie, for good fun he's the man to see, Peace, 50

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

Oh 50! I'm a mess. It's good to see you. I've been kicked in the jelly beans since I last soke. Thank you Bud. Man! Thanks!

Storytellersrus profile image

Storytellersrus 6 years ago from Stepping past clutter

Mickey Dee, you scared me. I thought you really WERE ralwus. I have been surprised on Hubpages before...

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

That is funny! I wish! I'm still laughing my rear off. Wait till the ralwus sees that!

ralwus 6 years ago

LOL I saw it and I get stumped too every time this hub shows up on feed I think it's me all over again. Hahaha This is really funny Storytellersus. roflmao

Dim Flaxenwick profile image

Dim Flaxenwick 6 years ago from Great Britain

l´m surprised you don´t have countless women falling at your feet.!!!(or maybe you do, but you don´t tell us))

All those amazing bikes AND fantastic rock music. Phew.!!

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

Oh Dim my Love! You are wonderful!

pmccray profile image

pmccray 6 years ago from Utah

This was too funny, loved the tricked out rides. I like Dim find it hard to believe your not being chased down by the opposite sex. Unless your just not applying yourself. LOL :) Great hub

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

pmccray! I love you Dear. I have little that the ladies find they need. They can get my words here. I love women. I love you ladies. I'm just broken my Dear! I love you pmccray! Thank you Darling pmccray!

Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 6 years ago from United States

Your hub was thoroughly enjoyable and I loved your bike. Really cool hub and full of laughs.

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

Thank you Pamela! Thank you for loving Ralwus!

Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 5 years ago from Oklahoma

I love the pictures. Fun stuff.

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 5 years ago Author

Hi Pamela. That Ralwus is a hoot. He's still found on FB. God bless you dear.

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    Lynyrd Skynyrd-Call Me The Breeze-1976

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