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Please check out my poem, and give me feedback

  1. LovelyAni profile image60
    LovelyAniposted 3 years ago

    Regarding Eclipse

    Waking in the middle of the night, rapid thumping of my heavy heart breaking the silence. I am missing him. I feel the pain, I reject the tears, I need to clear my head. Writing is the only way. It is all such a mess, this situation I am in. Where will it end ? Where will I begin ? There is no one I can tell, it is maybe a curse, more likely a spell. I am here to express myself. I will pour my heart, mind, body and soul into these illustrations to relieve me of the pain I am in.

    1. xionnguyen profile image60
      xionnguyenposted 3 years ago in reply to this

      Very nice.

  2. MatthewJFeeney profile image60
    MatthewJFeeneyposted 3 years ago

    I am no expert but I think your poem expresses what many people have felt but don't know how to say.  How did you come up with your title 'Regarding Eclipse' and what does it mean?

  3. LovelyAni profile image60
    LovelyAniposted 3 years ago

    That's not my poem. My poem is called Eclipse. Check it out on my page. " Regarding Eclipse " is a small paragraph on my feelings about the poem.

    Thanks for the feedback !

  4. Astra Nomik profile image74
    Astra Nomikposted 3 years ago

    This is a nice piece of writing. Love makes us go through a whole rainbow of feelings and emotions. We can become so immersed in the feelings of love that we can't find the door or windows out of the room we wound up inside. So I understand the wish to write so as to make sense of it all. All my poems about love are similar, though obviously my own.

    There is isolation in there too, of not being able to share with anyone. It "begins" when the person in the poem makes sense of it. And it can end any number of ways. Wanting to be with someone is a powerful feeling. No one can decide those things but us ourselves. It should not feel like a curse, but more like a journey to somewhere with someone. Love takes us to a land of Discovery. We find many things there. I read your hub and it is good writing. Welcome to hub pages, a great place to express your inner voice.

  5. LovelyAni profile image60
    LovelyAniposted 3 years ago

    Thanks a lot. This relationship is slowly killing me, drilling a hole into my heart. Emptiness. I'm working on a second one. Hope you guys check it out =].

    1. Astra Nomik profile image74
      Astra Nomikposted 3 years ago in reply to this

      I just re-read your poem and tweeted it to my poetry followers. You are an excellent writer. Can't wait to read more of your poetry. smile

  6. Stina Caxe profile image89
    Stina Caxeposted 3 years ago

    I thought it was lovely.  It takes a lot of courage to write from the emotions deep within your heart and to put it out there for the world to read.