Cheaters are Liars

When Three Is A Crowd
When Three Is A Crowd | Source

Cheaters Stage A Plan For The Grab

The act of cheating has been around for centuries. The reasons to cheat have always been similar with just a twist of another element. If it has not happened to you, it would, at one point in your life whether you caught the act or it was hidden from you. If you have been through it, you would have probably gained some wisdom on how to detect, how and what to avoid and how to resolve your partner's cheating.

People who cheat arm themselves with plenty of stories to justify their behavior. Cheaters will blame their stagnant relationship; cheaters will dredge their sad personal history complete with molestation; cheaters will just drop the "it's a spontaneous moment," "never planned on it." The concept of being creative in this area is dumbfounding and yet, a lot of suckers fall for the faux stories.

The fact is, if you are the culprit, whatever you spin has been said and done before. And if you are the offended party, you are gullible as a moth to a flickering fire. If you happen to "have been there before," that learned wisdom will be your saviour .

When you read novels written hundred years ago, decades apart or just around midnight the other day, cheating has always been mentioned and spun into melodrama. It is not uncommon to have political men breaking the news because of their philandering. Celebrity cheating abounds constantly with a different phase of faces and names. Our time capsule of cheating replenishes itself relentlessly. Almost always a parallel situation in every story is not unexpected: the perpetrator, victim and the cause of the dalliance.

Buying The Lie

You are probably in that stage of your life NEEDING assurance about yourself. We all go through flactuating highs and lows in our lives. The quote "being at the right time and at the right place," is a gift or omen. Call on your wise self or that inimitable instinct will kick in. Listen to it. Our subconscious can sense if something is a little off. If you let the "sales talk" monopolize you, then the "sale" has been agreed once there was that slight acknowledgement finalized with a 'come hither smile.'

Why do cheating happens everyday? Because there are always willing buyers.

Selling a Lie

How did one's affair start? What were those first words that opened the conversation? When one had suffered through this unneeded pain, one would have flashbacks of that first meeting.

A person who plans to cheat has already planned to say the words that would sell to seal the deal.

In the dating world, men and women "sell" themselves as a promising mate. Social networking has bridged the gap for efficient and speedy up-to-date introductions.

Much like selling a piece of cosmetic, the writer behind that product will hone each word to package that product into the answer to your specific need. The writer, with years of experience, would have knowledge what the best words, the best lines to print or to broadcast in order for a potential customer take that chance. Even a temporary acknowledgement by a potential customer is a step closer in making that sale. This is what selling is all about. To a good writer, the hook is the challenge to conquer.

A cheater premeditates a lie. One lie is preceded by more lies to justify the first lie.

Flashback: How did you meet? What were the first words? Weren't you so gullibly hopeful about all the words that answer your needs? Weren't those words flatteringly unstoppable? Weren't you captivated with the right words, the beholding looks, the teasing touches? You were floating on cloud 9 with giddy anticipation that you have just met that elusive "The One."

You were sold that first time. The next time, there would be more treats for the willing.

Quick Survey on Availabilty

Do you conclude a man without a wedding ring as single all the time?

  • Of course. How else?
  • Ummm. Have to ask more specific questions
  • Not that important. Will see if we connect, then bother with it later.
See results without voting

The Genitalia Connection

Males and females are built to function as planned in the natural world. I believe that "natural world," would be questioned, negated and debated by you-know-who-you- are.

Male genitalia by its location is an appendage and metaphorically, has its own instinct. The phrase "thinking with your d...," has entered the world of every day sayings. Men admit to that phrase a lot without hesitation. Women will use that phrase when their men are caught cheating. The words only amplify what is already true, but will never elicit any moral guilt. The only guilt there is, "was getting caught." Next time, they would be better.

How the female genitalia is built presupposes passivity. In order for life to be born, the female body has to accept with great appreciation, trepidation or unwanted horror the male genitalia's intrusion. The intrusion has to gain entrance. And to facilitate this acceptance, smooth words, promises of love ever after, or KY Jelly has to be applied; well, literally, on the latter..

The jungle of love howls with the same tune: that each man does not stand different from the other. On that thought, my mantra remains solid, "the more men I meet, the more I love my dog."

True love exists. Long-lived romances exists. So, I am not one of those "all good men are married or gay." This reminded me of my grade school teacher when asked "how do we know which one is for us?" She said "you will meet your match in the most unlikely amusing situation." Huh? Nowadays, courtship has become blatantly theatrical, so to weed out what is naturally spontaneous is a task itself.

There Are No Exceptions To Cheating
There Are No Exceptions To Cheating | Source

Cheating Affects All Types of Relationships

Heterosexuals, homosexuals, bisexuals and the list can go on as human kind continues to label their proclivities.

Maybe in another 50 years, humans will have categorized another set of sexual preferences or gender. But cheating will stay and thrive because of pervasive selfishness and greed.

A couple of swans on a pond in Poznan, Poland.
A couple of swans on a pond in Poznan, Poland.
Flirting lions.
Flirting lions. | Source

There Are Animal Species That Mate For Life

The swans mate for life. Penguins mate for life. These are species that has been co-existing with us that epitomize true and loyal love. I find it amusing how dating was for them? Were they blessed with better instincts in selecting their lifelong inamorata? I believe that there are several characteristics that some species have, that we may never absorb into our human existence.

However, there are animal species who just mate to procreate their bloodline. They may live together as family or the female is just happy to produce a strong heir.

The male lion surreptitiously courts a female lion to produce his heir(s), and then staying to protect his family. The male bear only allowed to mate by the female in heat and raising the cubs independently.

It is an eye-opener to compare the animal kingdom to humans. We think we are above them. But there are a multitude of parallels that says we struggle with the same mating issues.

Oh, What To Do When You Get Cheated?

Only you could decide. If it happened once, it will happen again.

Forgiveness can be a step to a temporary stoppage of the activity. Once everything is back to normal, the offending habit will continue unbeknownst to you because there will be a modicum of better lying techniques or a complete reversal of methods.

Counselors could help salvage yourself individually; but as a couple, it will be a mountain to climb.

Why? Because it is that person's character flaw. Cheating is an excitement that you could never live up to.

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Comments 18 comments

Shaddie profile image

Shaddie 4 years ago from Washington state

Absolutely marvelous article. Your writing voice is clearly understood, and you've brought up a lot of excellent points. There really should be zero tolerance for infidelity.


daisynicolas profile image

daisynicolas 4 years ago from Alaska Author

Thanks. The hubpages have been getting numerous questions or forums about this subject on what to do--which are really mostly rantings. Thought to put it in perspectives from someone who has been there.


phdast7 profile image

phdast7 4 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

Good Hub. I like your direct no nonsense, no excuses approach.


daisynicolas profile image

daisynicolas 4 years ago from Alaska Author

Thank you. Life is already complicated. Why hurt others?


wj-writingjockey profile image

wj-writingjockey 4 years ago from Earth

The hub is manifoldly expressive as compared to the title. I am 20 so I guess I am excused from the relational cheating part at least for now. But I just wanted to share one thing with you all the ladies ( I am sure less men will comment to this hub)that will comment here. The one thing is " I think that boys consider that when we are making up a story, the girls are inclined to fall for it. Our actions are based not our past knowledge of the same stories, but our actions are based on our past experience that girls will fall for it".

But anyhow this hub will always remain in my mind when ever I will say something untrue to a girl.

bookmarking it. thanks for the share. voted up


daisynicolas profile image

daisynicolas 4 years ago from Alaska Author

....and we learn what we worked before may work again; but that doesn't mean it's the conscionable thing to do. A 20 year old male like you can set his path for treating women better.


daisynicolas profile image

daisynicolas 4 years ago from Alaska Author

Correction. ...and we learn what we used before may work again; but...(see above comment)


tammyswallow profile image

tammyswallow 4 years ago from North Carolina

Very good hub. You have a unique style in writing. Very refreshing. Sharing/ tweeting/ voting up!


daisynicolas profile image

daisynicolas 4 years ago from Alaska Author

Thank you for reading and complimenting on my writing style. This is very encouraging.


cclitgirl profile image

cclitgirl 4 years ago from Western NC

Your writing is amazing. Your hub is interesting, too. I also believe: once a cheat, always a cheat. I mean, can you ever, really go back? No tolerance is my motto there - we all have brains and the "heat of the moment" is no excuse. Generally, I try to be extraordinarily tolerant of new and different people, cultures and even foods, but this is one thing I just can't tolerate. Well done.


Jean Bakula profile image

Jean Bakula 4 years ago from New Jersey

Hi daisynicolas,

You brought up good points here! I have had so many friends who are seeing a married man, or they always say they are "getting out of the marriage." I wonder why they think the man will be faithful to them, if they cheated on someone else. It seems to me they should be seeing his true colors.


Peanutritious profile image

Peanutritious 4 years ago from Cheshire, UK

This is a fabulous article! I agree with you when you say cheating is all about greed. I could not tolerate such behaviour. As you say, cheating is an excitement we could never measure up to. For someone to break a person's trust and destroy their self esteem in this way is unforgivable. You will always come second to their needs.


daisynicolas profile image

daisynicolas 4 years ago from Alaska Author

I thank you for reading my hub. I hope this hub can usher a turning point for the victims.


nifwlseirff profile image

nifwlseirff 4 years ago from Villingen Schwenningen, Germany

Beautifully written, eloquent and expressive. I would also agree on all points - cheating should not be tolerated, and this can be applied also to abuse of many forms.


daisynicolas profile image

daisynicolas 4 years ago from Alaska Author

Definetly, cheating is a form of abuse. Abusing the trust and the love one has put out there for reciprocation of the same level. Cheating is a conscious disturbing choice that deserves punishment.


HeatherBlesh profile image

HeatherBlesh 2 years ago from Monterey, CA

I've been through this. Seems to me it is a passionate subject for you well. Oddly enough his excuses amounted to blaming me or sad excuses in general. "You are are not the same as when I met you." ( he literally told me I was boring) "I can't help myself. I have a problem." Good thing we are NOT together anymore.


daisynicolas profile image

daisynicolas 2 years ago from Alaska Author

Years after, my conclusion remains the same. I never believe in "forgive and forget" because it'll bite you again. One has to remember the "signs", the words, the gestures, the stories. Somehow, they all fall in the same theme and with the same intention.


HeatherBlesh profile image

HeatherBlesh 2 years ago from Monterey, CA

The experience scarred me for future relationships for some time. It was hard to trust again. Not that I wanted to be cheated on but it's a lesson learned and I found my better match after all.

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