Cheaters are Liars
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Cheaters Stage A Plan For The Grab
The act of cheating has been around for centuries. The reasons to cheat have always been similar with just a twist of another element. If it has not happened to you, it would, at one point in your life whether you caught the act or it was hidden from you. If you have been through it, you would have probably gained some wisdom on how to detect, how and what to avoid and how to resolve your partner's cheating.
People who cheat arm themselves with plenty of stories to justify their behavior. Cheaters will blame their stagnant relationship; cheaters will dredge their sad personal history complete with molestation; cheaters will just drop the "it's a spontaneous moment," "never planned on it." The concept of being creative in this area is dumbfounding and yet, a lot of suckers fall for the faux stories.
The fact is, if you are the culprit, whatever you spin has been said and done before. And if you are the offended party, you are gullible as a moth to a flickering fire. If you happen to "have been there before," that learned wisdom will be your saviour .
When you read novels written hundred years ago, decades apart or just around midnight the other day, cheating has always been mentioned and spun into melodrama. It is not uncommon to have political men breaking the news because of their philandering. Celebrity cheating abounds constantly with a different phase of faces and names. Our time capsule of cheating replenishes itself relentlessly. Almost always a parallel situation in every story is not unexpected: the perpetrator, victim and the cause of the dalliance.
Buying The Lie
You are probably in that stage of your life NEEDING assurance about yourself. We all go through flactuating highs and lows in our lives. The quote "being at the right time and at the right place," is a gift or omen. Call on your wise self or that inimitable instinct will kick in. Listen to it. Our subconscious can sense if something is a little off. If you let the "sales talk" monopolize you, then the "sale" has been agreed once there was that slight acknowledgement finalized with a 'come hither smile.'
Why do cheating happens everyday? Because there are always willing buyers.
Selling a Lie
How did one's affair start? What were those first words that opened the conversation? When one had suffered through this unneeded pain, one would have flashbacks of that first meeting.
A person who plans to cheat has already planned to say the words that would sell to seal the deal.
Much like selling a piece of cosmetic, the writer behind that product will hone each word to package that product into the answer to your specific need. The writer, with years of experience, would have knowledge what the best words, the best lines to print or to broadcast in order for a potential customer take that chance. Even a temporary acknowledgement by a potential customer is a step closer in making that sale. This is what selling is all about. To a good writer, the hook is the challenge to conquer.
A cheater premeditates a lie. One lie is preceded by more lies to justify the first lie.
Flashback: How did you meet? What were the first words? Weren't you so gullibly hopeful about all the words that answer your needs? Weren't those words flatteringly unstoppable? Weren't you captivated with the right words, the beholding looks, the teasing touches? You were floating on cloud 9 with giddy anticipation that you have just met that elusive "The One."
You were sold that first time. The next time, there would be more treats for the willing.
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The Genitalia Connection
Males and females are built to function as planned in the natural world. I believe that "natural world," would be questioned, negated and debated by you-know-who-you- are.
Male genitalia by its location is an appendage and metaphorically, has its own instinct. The phrase "thinking with your d...," has entered the world of every day sayings. Men admit to that phrase a lot without hesitation. Women will use that phrase when their men are caught cheating. The words only amplify what is already true, but will never elicit any moral guilt. The only guilt there is, "was getting caught." Next time, they would be better.
How the female genitalia is built presupposes passivity. In order for life to be born, the female body has to accept with great appreciation, trepidation or unwanted horror the male genitalia's intrusion. The intrusion has to gain entrance. And to facilitate this acceptance, smooth words, promises of love ever after, or KY Jelly has to be applied; well, literally, on the latter..
The jungle of love howls with the same tune: that each man does not stand different from the other. On that thought, my mantra remains solid, "the more men I meet, the more I love my dog."
True love exists. Long-lived romances exists. So, I am not one of those "all good men are married or gay." This reminded me of my grade school teacher when asked "how do we know which one is for us?" She said "you will meet your match in the most unlikely amusing situation." Huh? Nowadays, courtship has become blatantly theatrical, so to weed out what is naturally spontaneous is a task itself.
Cheating Affects All Types of Relationships
Heterosexuals, homosexuals, bisexuals and the list can go on as human kind continues to label their proclivities.
Maybe in another 50 years, humans will have categorized another set of sexual preferences or gender. But cheating will stay and thrive because of pervasive selfishness and greed.
There Are Animal Species That Mate For Life
The swans mate for life. Penguins mate for life. These are species that has been co-existing with us that epitomize true and loyal love. I find it amusing how dating was for them? Were they blessed with better instincts in selecting their lifelong inamorata? I believe that there are several characteristics that some species have, that we may never absorb into our human existence.
However, there are animal species who just mate to procreate their bloodline. They may live together as family or the female is just happy to produce a strong heir.
The male lion surreptitiously courts a female lion to produce his heir(s), and then staying to protect his family. The male bear only allowed to mate by the female in heat and raising the cubs independently.
It is an eye-opener to compare the animal kingdom to humans. We think we are above them. But there are a multitude of parallels that says we struggle with the same mating issues.
Oh, What To Do When You Get Cheated?
Only you could decide. If it happened once, it will happen again.
Forgiveness can be a step to a temporary stoppage of the activity. Once everything is back to normal, the offending habit will continue unbeknownst to you because there will be a modicum of better lying techniques or a complete reversal of methods.
Counselors could help salvage yourself individually; but as a couple, it will be a mountain to climb.
Why? Because it is that person's character flaw. Cheating is an excitement that you could never live up to.
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