How do you handle difficult people?

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   artist101posted 11 years ago

   How do you handle difficult people?
   
   There are quite a few who would be classified as difficult, type A personalities, in my life. I am basically shy, and an introvert, and find myself constantly being taken advantage of. Just short of knocking them on their you know what, what would be a way to influence them into not being so dominating, and controlling? Any ideas?

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2. 89

   Theophanesposted 11 years ago

   First off there is a huge difference between "Type A" and someone who is manipulating you for their own purposes. Sure someone can be both but certainly not always. Type A personalities are going for a goal and they might sidesweep you if you happen to be in their way. Toxic personalities on the other hand are like energy and emotion vampires. They will suck the life out of you, manipulate you, and cause drama for no other reason than they thrive on the commotion. These people, if at all possible, should be avoided and cut out of your life or you will be repeatedly cut. I was a doormat for most of my life and toxic personalities always seem to know this making me a target to their psychotic aspirations. Not anymore. I've had enough.

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      artist101posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Great answer, how did you get them to back off, or did you just refuse to play the game? I know ive been caught up in the drama, I just want peace and harmony. Some see it as boring, I see it as I dont need the stress, got all the drama i need

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      Theophanesposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      When possible I just cut off all contact. Refusing to play games when you have to deal with them is another great way. Just ignore them as much as you can.

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      artist101posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Ear plugs might be an option. Just kidding. Good answer.

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   lburmasterposted 11 years ago

   By analyzing the situation. Most of the time, I just try to kill them with kindness or just be blunt with them. Being unhappy is a choice.

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      artist101posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Good answer, it gets kinda hard to smile, while gritting your teeth. Aggravating, can't we all just get along, without being a doormat? like theophanes said, it gets real old. Tired of wiping the foot prints off my face.

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4. 69

   rhondakimposted 11 years ago

   I agree with Theopanes about the difference between Type A people and toxic ones.  And with most toxic people, if not all, I don't believe you can "influence them into not being so dominating and controlling".  I think the only person you can control is you.  So yes, I would avoid toxic people entirely, if possible (I've had some I couldn't avoid but would have if the situations had been different) and just not play the game.  If they say something you KNOW is meant to get you upset, turn things on their heads by just being cool..  "OK" is a great word.  No matter what they say, just keep calmly responding, "OK."  That will drive them crazy when you don't react!!!

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      artist101posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Good answer. They always seem to twist what I say anyway. Can't twist OK, it is what it is.

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      rhondakimposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you, artist101!  Exactly!  By refusing to get emotionally involved, by refusing to show them that you care what they say, you keep your self intact.

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   purpleppleater75posted 11 years ago

   I have been in your situation on more than one occasion, & in your every attempt to avoid these types of toxic people, unfortunately there are circumstances when you just can't. I've come to the conclusion that those who are very controlling & dominating tend to have many insecurities within themselves,   & taking advantage of or upsetting people who are more introverted is fuel for their fire. They're drawn to those that they feel they can control, having the upper hand is essential to them & gives them a sense of security. Trust you instincts, if you feel as though you're being taken advantage of, walk away- don't give them any more of a license to hurt you. Also, as much as you may want to, don't react- that's exactly what they want you to do, not getting a reaction very much stifles them & their intentions. It takes two to tango, let them dance alone. I hope this helps!

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      artist101posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Great answer, It does seem to add fuel to the fire, and getting me absolutely  nowhere. Thank you

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      rhondakimposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Great answer, purpleppleater75!

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      purpleppleater75posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you rhondakim!  : )

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      rhondakimposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      

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   cruising.grannyposted 10 years ago

   Ignore them. Don't empower them.  Don't play the power game.  If they keep pushing you, there may be someone on the staff or even at management level you can talk to.  Bullying in the workplace is off the agenda.
   If you have to work with them specifically, just do the job and get out of their reach.
   Get some of your own confidence back.  You don't have to be a smug smart a..se, just confident in your job, and only work with the people you have to.
   Wherever possible, don't consult with this person, don't even talk to them. 
   A really happy, nice "good morning" could disarm them.  Always be nice.  Polite at the very least.  Don't feed the nasty, insecure bully.
   Keep that happy smile on your dial and keep the people in your reach who matter and who can reassure you.
   Keep up the good work.

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