I think people get set in their ways and cannot imagine thinking or behaving any other way. I also think sometimes people are scared of failure or scared of the unkown, so they don't try to change. I also think sometimes people think that how they are is simply "good enough" and don't see any reason to be different or better, because being good enough is good enough for them. Unfortunately, I think these people may never change, so I think it's your job to treat them with kindness and compassion, and try to point out how what they're saying makes you feel bad (but you may not even want to rock the boat like that). All you can do is be open & honest with them, and tell them you want them in your life, but if they can't respect you and at least be decent to you, then you're going to cease letting them into your heart and life.