Can someone be my 'soulmate', but I not be theirs?
I have an ex who says we are soulmates. I might have considered it when we were together (but never actually thought about it) but don't believe it's true now.
I broke up with her because of complications in my life even though she did not want to. Now, she says her feelings for me are stronger than ever for her, but they have virtually dissipated for me.
What is a 'soulmate' anyway?
"Soulmate" is a romantic concept. Usually based on the belief that there is only one other compatible soul for every person. To be true, it would have to be mutual.
I believe that there can be multiple soul mates. For me is a term that refers to a deep affinity or connection, it doesn't have to be exclusively romantic or sexual.
But in that case, you don't have to be still in a relation with a person for him/her to be your soul mate. A relation could end for many reasons but affinity still be there.
I believe in the concept of "soul-mates" but not "sole-mates"
In a world with over 7 Billion people odds are there is more than "one" person if we met them we would identify as being the "ideal person".
Scarcity has always been a romantic notion.
We want to believe life is all about "luck" or "chance" when it comes to love. In order for someone to be your "soul-mate" they would have to see (you) as being their "soul-mate".
At the very least a "soul-mate" is someone who actually wants to be with you! (And vice versa). If someone does not want to be with you; how can they be your "soul-mate"? The same holds true if you don't want them!
If either of you feels your lives would be better apart it means there is no "soul-mate" connection. Someone is in the "friend zone" and living in denial. Soul-mates are in sync with one another and for the most part want the same things for their relationship.
"Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."
- Oscar Wilde
Oftentimes we read about celebrity stalkers who state they are in a relationship with their victim or they are "soul-mates". It's in their heads.
If someone doesn't want to be with (you) they’re saying:
“You are not (the one) for me!”
My definition of a "soul-mate" is someone who shares your same values. They want the same things for the relationship that you do. They (naturally agree) with you on how to obtain those things. And last but not least there is a (mutual) depth of love and desire for one another.
Two soulmates? Good.
One soulmate? Stalking.
I've felt that way about someone who felt the way you do. For over a decade I was convinced he was my soul mate, and I his- if only he would give me a chance to love him.
I still love him, but I don't believe in soul mates anymore. I believe that we are surrounded by people who we could be with everyday, but until we are ready to find the "one" for us, we wont see them.
Some advice? If you dont see yourself with her, let her go. Be honest, Rip off the bandaid.
She will get to move on, and you will have to deal without her.
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