Love and Marriage

1. 60

   Sassypoeticposted 13 years ago

   Do you feel it's right for a husband or wife to send a
   co-worker flowers, Or any other gift for their birthday; without the knowledge of his or her mate. Answer honestly...
   
   Think about it first?.... Now,if you're doing online banking and decide to check your husband or wife account, and see where a gift or flowers have been sent to another party... How would you feel.. especially if you are considered a wonderful wife or husband that truly keep things together in every way.. And have not received such things yourself in a long time, yet certainly deserves it... Get back with me! I look forward to telling you what others have said...

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   1. 56

      leebertteaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Yeah, there should have been some discussion between spouses about giving a gift, the type of gift, and the appropriate amount to spend. That said, I don't think it should be considered automatically inappropriate, but it's definitely insensitive.

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      1. 0

         Home Girlposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         if you are in marriage, you are supposed to trust your partner completely, aren't you? ...In ideal world.

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         1. 56

            leebertteaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            Of course, that's why there shouldn't be a problem discussing giving a co-worker a gift. Why keep it from your spouse?

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   2. 61

      Medora Trevilianposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      It depends entirely on the sorts of flowers that were sent. Was it for a funeral? A wedding anniversary of a married colleague? Congratulatory flowers on the birth of a child? Flowers for a friend's sick bed? Consult the language of flowers to interpret what that particular bouquet means. Not all flowers signify passion!

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2. 61

   wildorangeflowerposted 13 years ago

   the motive of giving the gift is an important thing to consider. Case to case basis, but I will tell my hubby or bf about what I would like to receive from him. If he gives a co-worker a flower but he never gave me one, then I will tell my husband my feelings about it. Then after knowing his motives, I will understand it more.

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3. 60

   Zebedee353posted 13 years ago

   Regardless of how wonderful the relationship is, this isn't about trust. You have an obligation to inform your spouse of such decisions. By not discussing this prior to making a decision, then you jeopardize trust in your relationship. My opinion, you definitely have to inform your partner before they find out themselves. Just put the shoe on the other foot. How do you think they would handle the situation?

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4. 91

   akirchnerposted 13 years ago

   I'd be totally cool with it and then put some Ex-Lax in his dinner that night....
   
   Seriously, been there kinda and done that years ago.  Not gifts but praise and attention were being lavished on 2 office women while I felt that I was not getting the same praise and recognition and I SO deserved it, working full-time, raising 3 tiny kids (worked at home), did all the cooking, etc. 
   
   I just tried at first to be reasonable about it and discuss it - when that didn't work, I threw a major hissy fit but I did get his attention.  He STILL talks about how he was so stupid as to do that (almost 30 years later). I think sometimes it comes down to not communicating and someone being a little dense.  My hubby is the kindest person and I know that is why he did it and he did not MEAN to hurt me but he did.  I do believe though that he learned from it!

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