I’m glad she’s physically ok.
Unfortunately who her primary caregiver is has nothing to do with who she is primarily bonded with. My husband and I went through separation anxiety with our malamute. I was at the end of my rope before we figured out what was going on. I did a lot of reading on the subject and talked to our trainer. Here’s what worked for us.
1. Neither of us say good bye when we go somewhere, this was especially important for Daddy when he left for work. When we get home we don’t acknowledge Eisenhower if he’s excited. By treating our leaving as no big deal and coming home as such a normal little thing that it doesn’t warrant any excitement it made E perceive our, and especially, my husbands, leaving as less of an issue, allowing him to be calmer and less stressed by it.
2. While E was going through this my husband made a point of giving me lots of attention when he got home, “petting” me, holding me, etc. in front of E and shooing him away when he tried to squeeze between us. We still do this but it’s not a several times a day thing anymore. This really emphasized for E that I was number two in his “pack”. This made him feel more secure and thus calmer when he was with me.
3. Daddy started being my “enforcer” with E. If he didn’t obey a command I gave him right away, Daddy would use his deep, angry voice to tell him what a bad dog he was. He did this every time when he was home, frequently he would be the one to send E to time out for not obeying me. This was another important way to show E how our “pack” is structured.
4. I dominated E if I felt he got too disobedient. From what you’ve said I would definitely do this when your little girl bites. To dominate him, we learned this from a trainer, you straddle your dog while simultaneously placing your hand around its muzzle, holding it closed and tilting their eyes up to yours, and bend over so they can feel some of your body touching theirs. You place your free hand wherever you need to; I usually had a hold of the scruff of E’s neck. While staring straight into your dog’s eyes you use a deep, stern voice to tell her that she doesn’t do whatever it was she did. You stay like this until your dog sits. Then without moving your hands or letting your dog look anywhere but right in your eyes you kneel, while still straddling, and let your dog feel your body pressed all along her back. You aren’t putting any weight on her though. Next your dog will lie down; you remain kneeling over her and lean forward to keep your body in contact with hers. When her breathing is calm and her back legs have straightened and relaxed she has submitted. Loosen your grip on her muzzle and stroke her head, around sensitive areas like the eyes, softly tell her she’s a good girl and then slowly get up. Malamutes are stubborn and dominate dogs so there were times when submitting took over ten minutes when I had to do this with E. This really hammers home that you are above them and makes them feel so much safer when with you. E felt like he was number two and was mad at me for telling him what to do and felt like he need to protect me even though he was a baby himself. Using this very doggy method of telling him he was below me made him much happier. I would suggest that you don’t do this alone the first few times; you might need the extra set of hands given your dog’s age. You should only do this for big things and doggy challenges to your authority. It is so very effective and you won’t need to do this much.
5. Training, training, and more training. This gave him mental stimulation at class and when we practiced at home. The more intelligent the dog the more the mental stimulation comes into play. From what I’ve seen of American Bull Dog’s you likely have a smart one. For us there were a few months of really intense training and now he gets maintenance a few times a week.
6. We stopped kennel training him for times when we were both gone and room trained him. This made him happier so he was less stressed and better behaved. It was also easier to make him focused on finding treats instead of the fact we were leaving.
7. I spent about a month where E was leashed to me every day for almost the entire day. We had periodic training and play breaks but other than that he was always at my side. This did two things for him. It made it much more difficult for him to act out in the house. I would and do say his name sternly if I could see him thinking of being naughty, he understood. It also formed a strong bond between us that made him listen to me more and be happier when he was with me.
8. My husband and I learned to think and respond like dogs. No easy task but we’re all happier for it.
The first few weeks of fixing things for E were hard, but as I type he’s lying under my desk and his version of unruly is now the occasional time when he decides he needs to burrow my head in his lap (he’s 100lbs so it’s a big head). It will be hard but what you’re describing is very fixable and the rewards are worth it.
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