A Way To Say Good-bye
I had a brother that was very unhappy. He did a lot of things that were very hurtful to myself and my family. He suffered severe depression and was always looking for some way to cover up how he felt. Anyway.He is no longer with us and it took me a long time to come to terms with his death so I wrote this poem. He by the way had long hair, walked with a limp and had a beard.
I was in the store the other day, when a guy that reminded me of you passed my way. He had long hair and a beard, he walked with a limp and was small built.He made me think of you so much, it was if I could feel your touch. He glanced at me and then went on by. I felt as if I could cry. I left the store, I went on my way but, from thoughts of you I could not stray. I can't believe your dead and gone and yet it has been so long. After reaching home I sat and thought, that guy could have been you that went on by. The guy that at a glance almost made me cry. Could you really be alive? Could you from that bullet survived? The bullet that caused the fatal blow and stopped your heart from beating so. I close my eyes and see your face and the memories I can't erase. I'm not convinced that your dead. I hear your voice inside my head. I know your alive, I just know you are and from me you are never to far. Are you the guy that I saw the other day, that just glanced at me as he passed my way? Are you just waiting for that chance to take, to come and tell me it was all fake? You really didn't from that bullet die, but oh how you have made me cry. You've always liked to play pranks and this one at the top it ranks. It's time for you to stop this joking. For from this one my heart is broken. I'm tired of you always picking on me. It's time for you to let me be. What happened to you in life that made you do the things you did. To be so sad and act so bad. You were lonely, you felt blue, but no one really had a clue what you were going through. You caused me pain, you caused me fear. You caused me not to want you near. So, I left without a good-bye. Without you really knowing why. I open my eyes and look around, realizing you are no where to be found. And I think of the guy I saw in the store that had long hair, and a beard, and walked with a limp and was small built. I wish so bad it had been you. Then I could tell you I love you. Instead I have to daily face the memories that I can't erase of the bullet that took your life and makes me have to live this lie. That I hear your voice inside my head for I know in my heart you are really dead. One day you and I will meet again and we will talk of the good times and the bad times we had but, you and I will no longer be sad. And we will never be apart again.
Dedicated to my brother Isreal who was killed, July 2, 1984
i know your a strong person:) evenr how cruel that person still they are part of your life:) blood runs in hearts forever no matter what!
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