Hi Rosemary, I trust you can feel resistance when you respond with embarassment. The trick is allowing what shows up, including the times you lose your cool. Allowing the circumstances and responses creates space to shift your emotional response.
What you are experiencing when you lose your cool is simply a prgrammed response to outside stimulus. It is not really what is happening in the moment that is creating the response...it is just a habitual reaction.
When you continue to practice ho'oponopono and observe yourself - you will begin to shift from reaction to presence.
Being present means you are experiencing the moment in the now - not with old programming. In the now - you can choose how you want to feel and how you want to respond.
If it is your intention to be at peace and to feel good - you get to choose that as a response in virtually all circumstances.
On of my favorite ways to remind myself to be 100% responsible is to recognize what is coming out of me is what is inside of me. The so called outside circumstance did not "create" anger or frustration in me. If it wasn't within it could not come out.
So you can begin to appreciate the circumstances that "trigger" subconscious responses. Now resistance to the situation has shifted to awareness and appreciation.
Appreciation for the opportunity to notice and clear and choose a new response.
It is your true gift of free will to choose how to feel and respond in each present moment. The seeming outside events can now be seen as wonderful blessings - all in service of your expansion.
Hope this helps. Keep clearing and allow the questioning mind to quiet a bit more today.