ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

LETTERS TO YOU: “How can I improve my Emotional Intelligence?”

Updated on May 4, 2011

Dear You,

Emotional Intelligence is all about the ability to control emotions under different circumstances, be it at work or at home. Emotionally intelligent people are very much in touch with their own emotions (i.e. understand their own emotions, know what these emotions are telling them, how these emotions affect other people around) and such people are able to sense the emotions of others. There are lots of theories, frameworks and research available for you to read on the subject. I will only offer you a few tips on how to start developing and improving your EI. Following through with these tips will be the best thing you will ever do for your self-development and personal growth.

-          Start from writing down every single emotion you feel during the day – something like a diary of emotions. It’s important to write down why you think you felt that way; what you think was the cause of each emotion you felt during the day. It’s important to keep updating a diary on a daily basis, for quite some time. When you analyse your entries after a week or a month and you begin seeing a pattern of particular emotions, then you can deal with the causes of these emotions. This stage is all about becoming self-aware.

-          Watch the way you express your feelings. If you keep saying “This person always makes me feel furious” will not help you deal with the problem. In fact it will only make matters worse, because whenever you will see this person, you will always feel furious, even though there will be no problem to resolve between you two. Instead, you can say “This situation involving this person made me furious, everything is resolved now”.

-          Once you’ll become aware of your emotions and what they cost you on a daily basis, you will control your emotions, not the other way around. This stage is all about self-regulation. Start thinking before you act. After all, no one is rushing you to make impulsive decisions you might regret later. Don’t let your negative emotions become too strong. Recognise them at an early stage, stop and think how you can control them.

-          Be empathetic! It’s important to recognise and understand other people’s emotions. Learn not to judge too quickly, hear people out and relate to them. And most importantly, be genuine! Live your life honestly and openly, accept and enjoy challenges and stay motivated no matter what.

-          Improve your social skills. People with great social skills put other people’s needs before their own. They are usually team players, with good listening skills. They are guiding others to success. They are able to build and maintain fantastic relationships. Observe and learn from these people! Ask them for tips.

-          Anger is a natural feeling, but it is destructive! It makes you do and say things you will regret. When you are angry, it’s better to say nothing at all; use all the possible reasons to stop anger and avoid emotional vampires which will feed on this destructive emotion.

-          Use different techniques to release anger. The most effective would be – art and music therapy, yoga classes, aromatherapy, meditation. You can take a walk in a park and look at something that will take your focus away from anger. Do something around the house – clean windows or re-arrange books. These are energetic tasks, which will help you convert anger to positive emotion. 

Be healthy, happy and wealthy.....and Remember: "Never speak out of anger, never act out of fear, never choose from impatience, but wait... and peace will appear.”

Always by your side,

Tati Irodova

www.lifeskillsemporium.com

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Ashantina profile image

      Ashantina 

      7 years ago

      Tati what a powerful hub!! This is something Im working on within my Self... So many effective tips here... diary of emotions, great idea!

      Thank you so much for this :) Bookmarked/UP!

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)