I'd like feedback on my Hub:DiCaprio's Phenomenon

1. 59

   Dusan Raicevicposted 7 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my Hub.
   
   http://hubpages.com/business/brandbuilding
   
   What can I do to improve? Every advice and suggestion will be appreciated...

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   1. 70

      AshtonFireflyposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Hello! And welcome!
      
        The first issue I noticed was in the spelling and punctuation.
        Concerning punctuation: try to avoid using so many commas and ellipses, as they create a run-on feel. If periods are too strong of a separator for the idea you're conveying, try using semicolons in combination with commas. Ellipses should generally be avoided in formal writing, unless you're quoting someone. If you are wanting to designate a less important or tangentially important idea, use brackets or parentheses, not ellipses.
        Concerning spelling: take your time! Double check if you need to. Spelling errors take away from the credibility of your article.
      
        The organization of your ideas also seemed a bit random; I had to read some sentences several times to figure out what relevance they had to the sentences before them. It is always important to connect all the ideas in your article so that there is a logical flow of ideas and the reader does not get "lost."  In other words, guide the reader through your thought process; otherwise they have to stumble upon ideas as you write them. Some ways to ensure this flow would be to, first of all, write out an outline prior to writing your hub. This ensures all relevant ideas are kept together. Secondly, in the text itself, try to use connecting sentences such as: "For this reason," "This brings us to," "Keeping this in mind," etc. to introduce separate but related ideas. Thirdly, try to eliminate any redundant words which distract from your meaning. State your ideas as briefly as possible. To assist me in this process, my writing professor once gave me this challenge: write out a good-sized sentence describing what you've done that day, then re-write it using half as many words but without sacrificing the important concepts. Try to keep things short and sweet. This does not mean of course that you cannot elaborate or be creative, but at least try to eliminate any unnecessary, distracting words.
      
      Good luck to you here on HubPages! I hope I've been of help.

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2. 94

   FatFreddysCatposted 7 years ago

   "no longer published."
   
   Oh well. I tried. (shrugs)

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   1. 59

      Dusan Raicevicposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Sorry FatFreddysCat but i already took good notes from AshtonFirefly and i will post my article again as soon as i make some readjustments .
      Cheers and thanks for the feedback.

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