I'd like feedback on my Hub: Facts That May Shock Liberals

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   The Old Guardposted 8 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my Hub Facts That May Shock Liberals. What can I do to improve? Thanks!

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      RTalloniposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Start by studying up on using capitalization in titles. Single sentences are not paragraphs.

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      lions44posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Overall, you need to organize it better.  It comes across like a stream of consciousness, instead of a detailed list. Headings/Subtitles (in bold) would help.  Bold the #s on the list too. Doesn't appear to have many grammatical mistakes, but work on the formatting.

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         The Old Guardposted 8 years agoin reply to this

         Thx Lions,
         Most helpful.
         I will work on it.
         Cheers

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   Will Apseposted 8 years ago

   That first photo is so loathsome an awful lot of people will simply hit the back button. I couldn't be bothered to read it.

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      Kathryn L Hillposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      ~ love the first photo. Keep it.  Paragraphs would be easier to read. This seems like an outline. Present it better. (btw, there are no a.b.c.'s after #2.)
      
      
      This paragraph is easier to read than single sentences. It is also easier to read since it is not infused with emotion. Writing is not talking. It is organizing your thinking. It is very visual. You almost have to think like a graphic designer. You really have to consider the viewer/reader. Your thoughts are clear. Just  p r e s e n t  them better.
      
      "The only ones that weren't offered a bailout for bad decisions were the taxpayers. The government told them they had made bad decisions and should "suck it up", which meant millions of foreclosures and bankruptcies. Meanwhile, the CEOs of the bailed-out banks, car companies, (and everyone else who received government dole,) made millions. Furthermore, not one banker, government official or any other bailed-out company's upper management was ever charged with a crime. Instead of letting the free market sort through the trillions in debt, the government bailed all the businesses out, and we now have almost double the debt that we had during the financial crisis of 2007/08."

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         Will Apseposted 8 years agoin reply to this

         Bad aesthetics is unforgivable, whatever your politics, lol. Also the pic is completely irrelevant. I can only imagine it was chosen to irritate.
         
         In fact, I have a feeling the whole page was conceived to start a fight and feed a little self-righteous indignation.
         
         I would recommend the TV documentary 'Braindead'. All this kind of stuff is down to space bugs eating peoples brains.
         
         

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            Kathryn L Hillposted 8 years agoin reply to this

            Yay for graphics!
            PS If its a monkey being shocked, that would be even worse!

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               Will Apseposted 8 years agoin reply to this

               I think any monkey would be shocked by such poor image selection, lol.

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   Kathryn L Hillposted 8 years ago

   "Government interference in the market place includes artificially high or low interest rates, getting off the gold and silver standard, flooding the market with more " fiat" money, running high deficits and "supporting" prices with subsidies. This interference affects us by making it harder to keep up with inflation. We must now earn more than the inflation rate to keep up with the lowering purchasing power of the dollar. Hence, even if you get up to a minimum wage of $15 per hour, within a few years you'll need a higher wage for a "livable" wage.
   
   This ____? has to do with the mass importation of goods from other countries. What used to be manufactured here is now mostly manufactured overseas. Not only do we have to deal with the government's desire for inflation, but currency rates of imported products and inflation goals of other countries, as well. This____? is caused by trade agreements such as NAFTA which encourage American companies to move manufacturing facilities to overseas locations.
   
   It's a vicious circle. The U.S. Government's polices that are anti American-business and its instance on inflation, cause the "purchasing value" of the dollar to go down, thus always requiring an increase in a "livable" wage". This____? does not have to do with businesses in America, it has to do with polices of the government. If the currency was sound, then the adjustments to wages would not be required. The first minimum wage was enacted in hopes of bringing the U.S. out of a depression!"
   
   I tried my best to construct paragraphs from your sentences. Do they make sense? Correct accordingly.
   I believe you are sincere and attempting to bring us the truth of the matter.  I would not try to "shock" anyone. We need the truth.
   
   "FYI For Liberals" would make a better title in my opinion.

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      The Old Guardposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Most helpful, Kathryn,
      Thanks for taking the time to respond in a positive manner.
      First time I've ever used this forum.
      I can see that there are some good people that are associated with Hubpages.
      Also a few that have the courage to be honest without the fear of sending me to a "safe  place". HAHAHAHAHA (or maybe that's the goal??)
      Thanks for the input.
      Cheers

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         The Old Guardposted 8 years agoin reply to this

         Well, did some editing, put in a lot more paragraphs vs. one liners.
         Kept the photo, though.
         Thought about putting one of Curly's photos in it's place, but decided I like the orangutan.
         Thoughts?

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            Kathryn L Hillposted 8 years agoin reply to this

            hey, Much better! I approve of the title too!
            Now, I want to read the whole article. Before, I did not. :
            (I like the orangutan too ... and he is safely away from the word "shock.")

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               claptonaposted 8 years agoin reply to this

               Thx Kathryn
               Appreciate your time.
               Cheers

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   Dolores Monetposted 8 years ago

   If you want liberals to actually read your page and "learn" something, you are actually chasing them away with the image. You don't want to insult your intended readers right off the bat. I am sure that you realize the use of an orangatang has been used by certain people in order to offend. Why offend potential readers? You want them to stay on the page!

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      The Old Guardposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I've listened!!
      Photo changed - though the little snarky guy in me didn't want to
      Thx for the input, Dolores.
      Maybe when I get a gazillion followers, I can let my snarky guy out.......
      Cheers

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         Kathryn L Hillposted 8 years agoin reply to this

         ~ might as well put a comma after Liberals, in the title.
         Also an exclamation point couldn't hurt.
         
         FYI Liberals, $15 per Hour Won't Work!

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            The Old Guardposted 8 years agoin reply to this

            Thanks for catching that, Kathryn
            Cheers

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               Kathryn L Hillposted 8 years agoin reply to this

               Logical photo choice.
               PS Are you also claptona?

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                  The Old Guardposted 8 years agoin reply to this

                  Guilty as charged.
                  See I posted under the wrong handle - whoops!
                  I figured very logical!
                  Thanks for your help Kathryn.
                  Cheers

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                     Kathryn L Hillposted 8 years agoin reply to this

                     a logical photo for logical info! Thanks, OPG/c !

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