What do people gain from being online bullies? Does the keyboard give away too much power?
I find a lot of online bullies on sites and in places where it is completely uncalled for. Have you ever had a run in with a tempermental stranger on the internet? Do you think it would be different if you were face to face with the person?
I've been called a lot of different things on a lot of different sites, by the people that are laying in wait for an ego boost of some kind....Those peeps are ego's with never much to say, apart from offence abuse or sarcastic remarks....They bother me "not", because i use their words for practice....If i get upset by someone's abusive comments to something i wrote, that would mean that "i" still have an ego of my own....So over the months/years I've taken their useless worthless pointless comments, & used them for practice until their words no longer affect me at all....I used to get upset at first until i realised, that good rational none egoic peeps will & often disagree with me, but they do it in a helpful none critical way....The ego's just say I'm brainwashed or stupid etc, & that's to be expected from a person with an ego mind....So it's simple if you write something with good intentions, & to the best of your knowledge so far with complete honesty....Well that's the best anyone can do, & if someone replies with some abuse or bullying tactics they "are" ego's & you should feel no feelings of anger or frustration etc....Ignore them as someone who hasn't learn't yet, & if they hurt your feelings you need more practice in not allowing them to affect you because remember there only words....So keep posting "exactly" what you feel you want to post or reply, & remind yourself that those peeps should not be able to affect your feelings in a negative way....Positive or constructive criticism comes from real peeps, abuse offensive words or bullying comes from "ego's" & that's a 100% fact 100% of the time....So the next time someone upsets you with their comments etc, feel empathy for those peeps because they don't know how else to act. :-)
With anonymity often comes honesty. There is a reason why so many survey takers state that a person is not required to put their name on it. They know people are likely to be, do, and say what they (really) think and feel about things.
The keyboard removes the mask of decorum. Yes, things would be different if you met them face to face in (most) instances not so much because they'd be afraid of you personally. They simply would not want the word to get out about how ugly they are on the inside. We live in a time where saying the wrong thing can cost someone their job/livelihood or destroy future opportunities. These people live for the anonymity of posting online comments. Not long ago I saw the actor Matt Damon on Jimmy Kimmel show and he said; "Whenever I start to get full of myself I go online and read some of the comments posted about me." He then read three or four of the nastiest comments people wrote about him and his acting ability. No one is above being crucified in the court of public opinion.
Yes, many people have strong opinions. The internet is the perfect format to express those opinions. Debate is human. Everybody will not be "goodie goodie" although we may long for it. That's just not the real world today. For everything you are for, somebody is against it. The real world is even like that. The internet does allow people to hide their identity, which is good. One guy did want to fight. He asked where was I located, which was childish. Some people can dish it, but can't take the heat. It's better to ignore those who want conflict. As far as being online, they are already tracking your every move, attaching cookies, recording your history online and invading people's privacy. At least giving a pen name or remaining anonymous can maintain some privacy from the crazy people, internet advertisers and information gathering hound dogs.
A good question. IMHO The first question is possibly the 'online bully' gains something & many times nothing. They only gain something when something is offered in return. The question becomes what is that something offered in return. Then one must ask is it beneficial or is there a gain. Remember that cannot occur unless something is offered first.
Let's go back a moment. Bullying must have three components. Those are it must be social, it must be a reoccurring behavioral pattern & it must have a target. One question is if the target is a character trait, a difference of experience, e.g., apprentice contrast a journeyman, a positional stance & etc. or is it purely personal. If the target is a broad brush stroke, then it is not personal. It is then that it is a tactic or technique of intimidation of the engagement of difference rather than a personal attack.
One may discover with the two most common forms of online interactions - forums & chats, the seemingly bully of the broad stroke of the brush will not engage or continue engaging a person who finds offense with the tactic or technique. In other words they attack any of an opposing view with dissertations of any length, bantering of the logic, and etc., yet respect person's whose 'feelings' were hurt by disengaging.
The second question is absolutely not. The keyboard (symbolic representation of a process based on principles) creates. That is powerful. The result is force combined with time & how far it goes. At question is attraction.
The third question is absolutely. However, everyone has feelings. Feelings are the result of sensing. Feelings get hurt at times. Emotions arrive from feelings. One must precede the other. Yet, with online interactions we do not see, hear, smell, and usually only see an image if available, thus how can our feelings be hurt? There is the sixth sense to consider current psychology infers as intuition. Possibly that could be hurt?
What is left is cognition. Cognition is thoughts and memories. Therefore some or many may conclude when one's feelings are hurt of actuality it is the recall of a past event having the effect of reoccurring. An old wound or injury is opened up. Some say that is a gift or blessing offering the opportunity for more complete healing or resolve for the original encounter of hurt feelings. One solution for examining or reflection offering healing is 'Mindfulness' as a technique. Well worth researching.
Haven't we all said she/he reminds me of ???
Hi Kathleen, yes I have had this happen a couple of times. Usually if you are face to face most people are much more timid, with anonymity comes courage. "Temperamental stranger" would be a great Hubber name..haha.
Online I have come across a few people that seemed like they were trying to release their frustrations. They were probably trying to make themselves feel better. Face to face people are usually polite because they don't want other people to be mean to them. If I was face to face with the people that left rude comments and insulted me I doubt they would say the same thing. They probably would have been more polite or not said anything.
Yes, I come across often. Because I think morally and scribble moral advices to some of them online, who use abusive languages, particularly when they comment on news items. I use very humble words to express my views on incidents and events. They think I am old fashioned, out of this world creature, and try to awake me in a very uncivilized terms. They do not know that I am more fashionable and more smarter than they are. The only difference is I am very simple, honest and love ethics and morals. Most do not know what these things are.
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