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Short Story Hub Needs Help

  1. Rustedwho profile image60
    Rustedwhoposted 5 years ago

    I have a short story that really needs looked over. I wrote a story and my kids loved it, but it needs some work to survive on here. Almost deleted it and then decided I would try in here for a little help. It is called " Billy Crow Hobble and the Big Fish". I am looking for help with the title, layout, and ideas for pictures. If you have ANY suggestion, please let me know. I really love this story and would like to see it get shared, would hate to delete it since it's way under performing. Thanks everyone!

  2. Aficionada profile image88
    Aficionadaposted 5 years ago

    I agree - it is a cute story.

    I'm not sure others would agree with this, but I believe it would be nice to ID it on the page as a children's story. You mention that here and in the summary; but if anyone does come across it through other paths, they would not initially know the intended audience of the story.

    For improvements, my strongest suggestion would be to create more paragraph breaks. It is visually more appealing and less intimidating; and, I believe it actually enhances the storytelling. It would provide more logic as to what events belong together and when a new thought or action begins. You may even want to create subdivisions with actual subheadings, although that may not be consistent with this type of story.

    There are a few grammatical errors or typos - not really many. The main one I would definitely correct is a couple of instances when you typed to instead of too.

    Other title possibilities might be: Billy Crow Hobble's Adventures; Whatever Happened to Billy Crow Hobble?; A Little Fellow with a Big Appetite for Life; Why You Should Be Careful When You Roam Through the Forest.

    For pictures, check out Advanced Search in Flickr. You can check for photos (forest, stream, fish, wolf, farmer, harmonica) and drawings. Be sure you check the appropriate boxes for the license, especially if you have this story monetized, and be sure you attribute any pictures correctly.

    Last item about the story: I was sorry there was not more use of the harmonica in the rest of the story, but that might be saved for a different tale.

    Creative writing doesn't generally do well in search engines, and so you will need to do more promotion of this on your own. Share it with your friends on Facebook, Twitter, Google Plus, etc. if you mention it in an e-mail to family and friends, don't simply mention the title, but make the title a live link back to the story.

    Good luck with this! I enjoyed the story.

  3. Reality Bytes profile image89
    Reality Bytesposted 5 years ago

    Let's make it easier to find the hub.  smile

    http://rustedwho.hubpages.com/hub/Billy … e-Big-Fish

    I agree with Aficionada concerning paragraph breaks.

    Perhaps a title like "Stories to read to children at bedtime" followed by the name of the story could bring it attention from search engines?

  4. seanorjohn profile image82
    seanorjohnposted 5 years ago

    A good story. Perhaps you could write one about a tiny girl. Then when they meet in the woods they become the first descendents of the leprauchaun family.