It’s been a long time since I was falling down drunk, you know the state, legs won’t work, words and sentences become incoherent and the laws of gravity conspire to upset your ability to maintain an upright position. I am talking royally and completely transfused.
Anyway, I live above a pub and the only way into my home is through the bar. My friend who owns the bar has taken some time off to enjoy a short golfing holiday with his father and asked me to look after his cat while he was away. As recompense I could finish of any beer that was left in the taps. As it worked out I have a full barrel of lager that needs to be drunk.
Not wanting anything to go to waste I decided to make a start on the job at hand and with both my sons in tow for moral support we got started. It all began well enough but without a barman to call time we kind of went overboard. I don’t remember how the evening exactly ended but I awoke some hours later in the shower. While I was coming round I had a vague recollection of looking out of my window and observing someone laying carpet down the street. I have been drunk before but never that drunk that it produced hallucinatory side effects.
I extricated myself from the shower and brewed a much needed extra strong coffee discovering my shoes in the vegetable crisper in the process. With coffee in hand I stepped out on the balcony to see what kind of day it was... Oh My God, Someone has carpeted the street from end to end.
I was reasonably awake by now, sobriety was slowly kicking in and this was no hallucination. Before me, in all its resplendent glory, was a red carpet from one end of the street to the other. I kept asking myself the same question. Why? Why? Why? Obviously I wasn’t the only one drunk last night. Then I remembered the photograph. Even in my drunken state I realized that municipal carpet laying was a bit of an oddity and had taken a photograph.
So if you are curious as to what a carpeted street looks like here is the picture.
Have a Very Merry Christmas and remember... drink responsibly!
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