Will be happy to get some feedback on my hub

1. 56

   Peeliposted 12 years ago

   Hi
   Just completed to write my fifth hub but i'm not sure about the quality and i'm not getting much feedback...
   English is not my native tongue and I would love to get some feedback - good or bad so i can improve my writing,
   one of my hubs -
   http://peeli.hubpages.com/_1c3w3kpzvr7y … ast-Part-2
   
   
   Thank you for you time :-)

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   1. 75

      rumanasaiyedposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Your  hub is quite interesting. And  your English is also not bad. You can make your hub more attractive by using other capsules like video, eBay, Amazon etc.
      
      But on the whole good work at this early stage.

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2. 68

   expertscolumnposted 12 years ago

   The title needs to be changed, because you are focusing on Egypt. Change the title to be specific or related to Egypt, so something like "Egyptian Revolution Part 2". This will help your hub to be ranked in Google Search Engines.
   
   Secondly, try to use more eloquent words as "What the hell is going on in middle east" may sound childish and due to the nature of your post being informational and well researched, try to use more catchy titles like "Why is the Egyptian Revolution happening?"
   
   Hope those help

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3. 56

   Peeliposted 12 years ago

   Thanks for the feedback's!!!
   Much appreciated.

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4. 59

   MatthewJFeeneyposted 12 years ago

   I enjoyed your Hubs.  I am still working on building Hub readership myself but I would like to make one suggestion regarding your format.  Reading your Hubs 'So What's Going On In The Middle East' you bring up different points of discussion by asking questions then answering them.  For example:
   
   "Israel was funded in 1948, a few years after the holocaust but the conflict with the Arabs started 20-25 years earlier. Why? Well the geographical location of the new country was selected based on the bible (which let’s face it is pretty impressive because how many countries in the world can show such a piece of history that described their boarders, country name etc.) But anyhow, when they came to Israel (back then it used to be called Palestine) what do you know, they had other people living in it…well, at least in some areas. From this point and on you can pretty much figure it out by yourselves. The new arrivals bought and fought on the new territory and the locals did the same. Sounds familiar right? Nothing new was invented in this story, but you now ask yourselves; ok this had happened 60 years ago, why it is still going on?? Well, because it serves lots of people interest..."
   
   I think you may want to try breaking each question/topic into its own paragraph.  For example:
   
   Why was Israel founded?  Israel was founded in response to the holocaust and its geographical location of the new country was selected based on the bible (which let’s face it is pretty impressive because how many countries in the world can show such a piece of history that described their boarders, country name etc.)
   
   Why is the fighting continuing??  Well, because it serves lots of people interest..."
   
   Other than formatting I would also recommend that you put in a profile picture.  I hope my suggestions help but it is up to you to take or leave them.  Either way I enjoyed reading your point of view from   the Middle East and look forward to reading your future posts!

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   1. 56

      Peeliposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for taking the effort to review my hub and write down the comments!
      I will surly use your feedback.
      :-)

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