Why did do some military men cheat on TDY's?

  1. profile image52
    AF24AFposted 5 years ago

    I met this amazing guy on  a TDY. We became friends and hung out most of the time on this TDY. By the time I knew it he kissed me. We had a talk because he has a girlfriend. We didnt want any hard feelings because we have to go back home and be able to work  around eachother. He expressed that he felt like he couldnt let me pass him by because he hasnt felt a connection with anyone like this in a long time. I completely felt the same. I didnt say it though. I did tell him that he should reconsider his plans with who he is with because he obviously isnt as happy as he could be. I told him even if he and I didnt date that he shouldnt be with someone that he would cheat on. He felt aweful for cheating. I saw it drain his personality for 2 days after we kissed. Then on the third night we ran into eachother as we have mutual friends. He was all over me again. I didnt do anything with this guy just talk, laugh, kiss, and had the most amazing intellectual conversations, danced together at clubs. After this night of hanging out he was depressed again for 2 days and down and out. I then told him that I enjoy who he is and I dont want to steal who he is as a person for my benefit of attention. I told him he deserves an amazing girl and he said he plans to marry the girl at home because she doesnt deserve a guy like him. I was upset to hear this. I didnt express it to him though. I just said make sure and chose someone relavent to what you truly deserve not relative to what you have had in the past. I feel like this guy is selling himself short. I fell for this guy with just starring in his eyes. The last night we had we all went out to party it up. He bought me my drinks. Then he was a wing man of his buddy and they hit on 2 other girls. I didnt interfer. I didnt feel an ounce of jealousy. I usually do at this point of liking someone. I truly believe that what me and this guy have is true. Whether it becomes anything I dont know and wont stress over it. I suprised myself with this one. I left before him. He hung out with these girls the whole night I didnt know this till the next morning and he told me. He said why did you leave I wanted to hang out with you. I let him know I was drunk and higher ranking members loaded us on a van to get back to base asap.  He gave me a sad face .I said I hope you had fun though, bye. my flight was leaving. Our converstation was left at that. We both wanted a goodbye something or other. Not necessarily sexual, but a hug or a kiss our some type of knowing we both care. During our time we spent he said he wouldnt be able to talk when we get home because she checks up on him like crazy. I said, "No worries Im not a crazy chick. TDY fun. (This was before we kissed though.Im still not crazy. I just cant get him out of my head.)  We have chemestry thats no lie. I feel like hes slipping through my fingers. He told me that if she didnt have kids that call him dad he would walk away. When I found this out I began to separate myself emotionally.  I have a huge heart for kids.

    I would like guys input on this please. Is there anything I should be doing? I like this guy and I didnt sleep with him. Most girls have these issues because they sleep with a guy way too soon. I dont behave that way nor do I carry myself in that manner.

    Does this guy really care? Do you think he thinks about me? I do not see him daily at work only in briefings that have atleast 200 people in them. Chances I even see him are slim. Chances he sees me are high as I a female. Those guys can spot a bun like no other.


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