If you could...

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   Beth37posted 9 years ago

   talk to anyone in your past, or in your assumed future, who would it be? What would you say to them? Would you have any questions for them? Does your life feel incomplete without them or are you resolved to their absence?

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      epsonok0posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I would talk to my step dad and ask where he hid the money before he died.

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         Beth37posted 9 years agoin reply to this

         Well, that sounds like an interesting story.

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            epsonok0posted 9 years agoin reply to this

            he was worth 1.3 million. Then after his mysterious death poof. We had about 100 grand. And two private investigators can not explain why the trail goes no where. Some think its hidden in Wyoming. But LOL that is a fairytale. Even though he had what amounts to a second life there, that we did not know about.

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               Beth37posted 9 years agoin reply to this

               Sounds like an interesting story, but not an enjoyable experience.

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                  epsonok0posted 9 years agoin reply to this

                  it is facinating. Oh and btw my friend across the street is a new hubber jasonstover9 can you friend him? He is working on some great hubs cause I got on him about not writing. LOL He told me to go home. He never used this site after 3 weeks ago when I had him make an account.

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                     Beth37posted 9 years agoin reply to this

                     He doesn't have any hubs yet.

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                        jasonstover9posted 9 years agoin reply to this

                        They are on the way. Hi epson.

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                           epsonok0posted 9 years agoin reply to this

                           Hi.

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      writingloverposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      If I could talk to anyone in my past, it would have to be my estranged mother. I chose her because we haven't spoken in over eleven years. My mother cut me out of her life just because I didn't want to visit her on the summer of my thirteenth birthday. I was making new friends for the first time in my life and my life was turning around. Grades were improving, etc. I didn't want to leave my new home, not yet anyway, because I was getting adjusted to my new surroundings.
      
      Being so young, I didn't understand why she rejected me nor why she didn't understand my rejection to go. Now, at twenty-four, I have a better understanding of her anger and even though it was in order to manipulate me, I would just like to say I'm sorry to her and that I forgive her, even if I don't know where she's at or if she refuses me.

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         Beth37posted 9 years agoin reply to this

         I wish I could help.... bring her to her senses. Im sure more days than not she regrets the mistake. Im sorry you've lived a life void of something so basic. Who knows that you weren't better off, but that doesn't take the pain away.

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         LongTimeMotherposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         Write her a letter, writinglover, even if you never get to send it. Express your forgiveness but don't forget to also express your hurt, disappointment and anger.
         
         She was the adult, you were the child. You both had different needs at that time, but it was her responsibility to put your needs ahead of her own.
         
         I don't know your personal circumstances, however I am aware of other cases where an estranged parent who looked like the villain turned out to be a victim of sorts when they were deliberately excluded from their child's life. We can't judge people and who knows what was happening with your mother ... but don't accept responsibility for your estranged relationship. You were 13.  We all know how hard that can be.

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            writingloverposted 9 years agoin reply to this

            I think I will. That might be my next hub, even though it's going to be personal. I'm here because I wanted to share my stories with everyone and this would-be hub is no different. I just have to write it without taking the entire load of responsibility (as I tend to do. It runs in the family).
            
            @Beth: Even though I had lived with that void for years, I have a loving stepmother (tough as nails and scary as a dragon ) and an awesome dad. I will admit though that there are times that I have those 'what if' moments.

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               Beth37posted 9 years agoin reply to this

               I think that would be an extraordinary hub. Im sure many ppl would be touched by it, but who knows if there aren't ppl out there that would benefit from it personally. I look forward to it.

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               LongTimeMotherposted 9 years agoin reply to this

               Hey, writinglover. I just read one of your hubs and it was exceptionally promising. I will leave a comment on it but I'm giving you a couple of hints here. (Don't want to leave any kind of scar on your beautiful work because I suspect it is going to be even more brilliant when you go back for a quick edit and people should be reading that hub for years!)
               
               Read your hubs aloud - or get someone else to carefully read every word aloud to you. You'll find there's a few easily fixed mistakes.  But most importantly, if you read it aloud (with feeling, the way it might be read on a radio station for instance) you will hear there are definite changes in tone, structure and style that detract from the power of the piece. Please don't delete anything or get discouraged, but have a go at rewriting the portions that don't sound quite right when listening to it being read.
               
               Try and create the flow you find in classical music. Some parts will be stronger and more dramatic ... but even the quieter, more reflective moments should still have a lovely melody or perhaps be reminiscent of a trickling stream (compared to the thunder of a river or waterfall.)
               
               If you can combine your gift of creativity and visualisation with the craft of 'making music' with your structure and tone, I suspect you could have a fine career as a professional writer.
               
               Good luck!
               
               PS: Remember the same concept when writing to your mother. You don't want to hammer her too fiercely with thunderous rage, but nor should such an emotional topic be too quiet and subdued.
               
               Take yourself and your mother - and every one of us who reads your hub - on a journey. As you write the highs and lows, change the pace using word choice and sentence structure.
               
               Okay, that's enough of the lecture. If I keep writing it will be long enough to make a hub. lol.

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                  writingloverposted 9 years agoin reply to this

                  LOL!
                  
                  I welcome constructive criticism.. I know which piece you are referring to and you are correct. I did that piece in a spur of the moment kind of thing so, of course, there will be issues. I've been meaning to get back to it but with work and a head cold I have been delayed with that. You're right, though. There is ALWAYS room for improvement!

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                     LongTimeMotherposted 9 years agoin reply to this

                     I predict you could be a famous author in the future if you choose to follow that path.

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      JG11Bravoposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      The only person I feel a strong compulsion to talk to from my past is my younger self. By talk to, however, I mean punch in the face. Would've been nice to have some sense beaten into me a bit earlier.

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         Beth37posted 9 years agoin reply to this

         lol... maybe you could punch younger me in the face as well.

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            LongTimeMotherposted 9 years agoin reply to this

            Not sure who that would have helped, Beth37.

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               Beth37posted 9 years agoin reply to this

               Probably would have made us both feel better.

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         LongTimeMotherposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         Hey, welcome to hp JG11Bravo. You have some fascinating hubs listed already. I will certainly make time to read them. Hope you have great success here!!

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            JG11Bravoposted 9 years agoin reply to this

            Thank you! It's been a great boost to my morale to get an Editor's Choice already, so I intend to keep them coming.

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      nArchuletaposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      It's not that I would ask anything... If I could go back, I'd tell my dad that I finally got my education. When he died, I was a hairstylist living with a deadbeat. Nothing wrong with being a hairstylist, but my dad, a teacher, wanted more education for me. I'd like to tell him I went back to school and graduated with a 4.0. He'd be proud.

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         Beth37posted 9 years agoin reply to this

         Im proud of you and I don't even know you. lol
         Good for you, Im sure he'd be so pleased.

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            nArchuletaposted 9 years agoin reply to this

            Thank you -- I'm sure he would be, too.

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         JG11Bravoposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         Touching and impressive. Well done!

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            nArchuletaposted 9 years agoin reply to this

            Thanks!

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      Jacqueline4390posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I would ask my mother why she didn't get a breast exam sooner. Then she would not have died of cancer and left me at age 13.

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         Beth37posted 9 years agoin reply to this

         Im sorry.

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            Jacqueline4390posted 9 years agoin reply to this

            Thanks, she died at a time when I desperately needed a mother. Those teen years are difficult. But thanks be to God that I made it. "Mom, you were only here a short time; but what I did learn has lasted!"

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   Cardisaposted 9 years ago

   I would talk to my aunt and tell her I love her. I think she was waiting for me to visit her in the hospital but I didn't know she was ill. I was living far away when she died and no one told me. It was an old neighbor I saw in the city who told me they were sorry about my aunt's death and that totally blew me away.
   
   I haven't been able to get over that. I keep dreaming her. A few nights ago she told me in my dream that she was angry because she'd been waiting for me and I didn't come.
   
   It's been almost twenty years but it felt like yesterday. I have dreamt her more than a hundred time since.
   
   I would also tell my brother I love him too. I think he knew that. He was killed last year so that kind of shook us up a bit. I would have probably told him not to make the decisions he did.

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      Beth37posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      That's heart breaking. Im so sorry about your brother.
      I dreamed of my dad for years after he died. He wasn't affectionate, at all. In my dreams I would see him in a group somewhere. Id run to him, ignoring what was acceptable. Id throw my arms around him weeping and say, "Dad, we thought you were dead! Ive missed you so much, I love you." Nothing like this ever happened in real life... no emotion allowed. But in my dreams, he would let me hold him, he never hugged me back, sometimes he'd slough off my arms, but sometimes he'd let me hold him. Those were really sad dreams, but they gave me memories Id never had in real life.

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         Cardisaposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         I am sorry about your dad and his lack of affection. My aunt loved me but it was later I knew it. She raised me and all throughout my childhood I was sure she didn't love me but I was wrong. I found that out when my grandmother died when I was a teen.

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            Beth37posted 9 years agoin reply to this

            That's good. Im sure my dad loved me... ppl love in their own way, as much as they are capable.

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   JG11Bravoposted 9 years ago

   I'm sure that's a common enough line of thinking. As I often say, I used to be young and dumb. Now, I'm just dumb.

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      Beth37posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Ive read seen your hubs, Im sure that's not true.

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         JG11Bravoposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         I certainly hope you're right about that. Some days see me dumber than others.

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   cheaptrickposted 9 years ago

   I wouldn't mind having a little "Heart to heart" with the guy who introduced me to my ex...she's a water sign...I'm an earth sign...together we made mud.......

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      nArchuletaposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Good one!

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      Cardisaposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      lol lol

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   Mary Cimeniposted 9 years ago

   I don't wanna talk to anyone in my past... it will bring back all sad memories. But that doesn't also mean my present is better without them. What I'm excited about is the future!, i don't just wanna talk, I wanna see who's my future prince charming,..lol! is that even normal??

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      JG11Bravoposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Quite normal, I think. You can't change the past, and part of the fun of the future is waiting to see what happens.

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      Beth37posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Completely.

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   NateB11posted 9 years ago

   There's a woman, I would tell her goodbye and why I can't see her again. Still remember last time I saw her, I hesitated to tell her, though it's the first time I had ever hesitated to tell her anything. I not only hesitated, I never told her.

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      Beth37posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Dude, that was... the stuff of great novels.
      Please tell that story in a hub if you are comfortable.

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         NateB11posted 9 years agoin reply to this

         That's a good idea. I never thought about that. Thanks. I'm not sure I can do that though. I'll have to give it some thought.

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            Beth37posted 9 years agoin reply to this

            Please make sure to tell me if you do, it sounds really engaging.

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               NateB11posted 9 years agoin reply to this

               I will.

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   Aneegmaposted 9 years ago

   For me it would be my grandpa. I never knew my dad as he left before I was born so granddad was the love of my life. He died on Christmas day when I was only 8. He had always told me he'd never leave me no matter what and when he died, I felt utterly betrayed and I hated him for a long time for lying to me. But in time as I grew up, I regret hating him and if I was to see him again guess I would ask why he lied to me and then I would just give him the biggest hug. I miss him every day and even though it's 30 years later, I still wish he was here.

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      Beth37posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Do you have peace about his passing yet?

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         Aneegmaposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         To be honest no. I would like to have that peace but never achieved it yet.

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   Barbara Kayposted 9 years ago

   I have a lot of people I'd like to talk to again. I have a brother and sister that passed away at a young age. I'd like to be able to talk to them again and Grandma and Grandpa. My dad just passed away a year and a half ago. Not only talking to them, but seeing them would be wonderful.

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   Beth37posted 9 years ago

   Im sure they are all aware of the things we never said - now.
   They would probably want us to take comfort.

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