Posted my first hub in quite a long time. Looking for feedback.

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   Pico Trianoposted 10 years ago

   This hub features a couple of stories rescued from Bubblews that were quite popular along with some other humorous stories centred around the same theme.

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      Sue Adamsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Sorry but without a title reference or link to the hub in question, how can we help you?

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      1. 82

         Pico Trianoposted 10 years agoin reply to this

         Whoops! I thought for sure I pasted the link in before I posted. Thanks for bringing that to my attention. Here it is: http://picotriano.hubpages.com/hub/More … er-Service

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         1. 74

            Butch Toolposted 10 years agoin reply to this

            Well, I am quite new to hubpages myself (so take this with a grain of salt), but I would rate your hug page quite well. The content is definitely unique and descriptive. I found the stories quite interesting, although I was quite confused during the first paragraph of Green Minitch Time. The first paragraph left me feeling a bit awkward, and it seemed like it needed a quick explanation about how the phrase relates to the story before where it currently happens in the second paragraph.
            
            The organization seems to flow well from one experience to another. Your grammar seemed good overall. I am new to the hubpage rating system, but I think it should do pretty well overall based on what I am seeing.
            
            Edit: Actually, after a double-check, I realized that the actual header phrase isn't addressed until the fourth paragraph. Instead, Greenwich Mean Time is the term used in the second paragraph (as opposed to Green Minitch Time in the header and fourth paragraph). I think the switch in terms and not getting to the explanation for the header phrase until much later is what led me to feel kind of disoriented when reading that section.

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            1. 82

               Pico Trianoposted 10 years agoin reply to this

               I'll give your observations some thought. For me "Green Minitch Time" is one of those, "what the heck is that?" I'm sure it confused the customer.

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                  Butch Toolposted 10 years agoin reply to this

                  Perhaps if you just add an introductory sentence that mentions that this story is about a time that one term was mistaken for the other or something. Since there are a lot of sites these days that are using article spinners and content from non-English speakers, readers watch out for odd structure and wording that might indicate a low quality article. I realize that isn't the case here, but that is the initial impression the strange words and lack of explanation gave me, until I read further down and finally came to understand. Of course, not everyone may want to read that far to figure it out.

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