Roommate General

1. 73

   sassygrrl32posted 10 years ago

   Hi thought I'd put this out here and get opinions. I've been living at my current place for a yr. The terms of the agreement was I'd live rent free as long as I took my roommates sons back and forth to school and where they needed to go and him to work when it was cold. He got 2 dui's and can't drive. Now he wants me to leave because the Jr pastor at his church thinks it looks bad for a man and woman to be living together even as roommates. My roommate is in the music ministry. The pastor said it was about perception and would be a stumbling block for new christians. Leaving would be easier if I had a place to go and something I could afford and they seem to think it can be done in one day. My ex husband says he has to put me out legally. He can't just throw my stuff out like he's threatened to do. I don't want it to come to that. The Jr pastor said he would ask around the church and see if he could find something but nothing has materialized. Now he says it doesn't matter if I leave or my roommate leaves but one of has to leave. My roommates landlord knows nothing about me moving in which I only found out recently. Have you heard of a church getting that involved? And why? It makes no sense to me. Maybe I don't understand church etiquette. Thanks in advance....

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   1. 76

      wildernessposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I've run into that before.  I know a 92 year old woman that rents out a room in her home to a 66 year old man - a perfect combination for both as he can help her around the house by mowing lawns and such and she charges him very little for rent as a result.  It's also a tremendous safety factor should she fall or something (she's nearly blind) and he's always there in case of an emergency.
      
      But the church (and church members) have come down on her pretty heavily because it "looks bad".  It's all about control and appearance; the needs of the person are ignored in favor of control and appearance.
      
      If the pastor has enough control over your roommate you'll have to leave.  If not, ignore the busybodies and live your life as you wish.  It's a "Peyton Place" world (if you're old enough to know the reference) and not worthy of your attention or your roommates.

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2. 73

   sassygrrl32posted 10 years ago

   It's unbelievable to me that the church would care more about appearance than the safety of a 92 yr old woman. Unfortunately if I'm forced to leave I'll be living in my car. My ex says to make him do it legally if hes going to allow the church this much control. And pitch a tent in the church yard and if anyone asks explain and tell them the church yard is my new home. Of course they'd call the police but on a sunday morning it wouldn't look good. And the busy bodies would really have something to gossip about.

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3. 69

   Beaddoodlerposted 10 years ago

   Unfortunately this antiquated ideal is prevalent in many churches.  Yes it may give the wrong perception to those who look for "sins" in others, but it is rediculous in my opinion. I'm sorry you and your room mate are facing this and hope you find an equitable solution soon.

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