New Roommate? I can't decide but

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   TLMinutposted 11 years ago

   whenever I think of getting a roommate, I play this song by Men At Work: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPlNzWbX … re=related
   I think those last 732 views are mine...
   
   Aren't we supposed to help when someone asks? For spiritually oriented people, give all because nothing here lasts anyway? I have a home that's too huge for one person, extra $$ would be good, I get along with the guy very well. But then there's that song that really says what I feel like. It was funny, when I talked to my brother about the whole roommate question, he said, "Well, you're mental anyway," so I sang the line at 1:21!
   
   Anyone have an unexpected roommate? Especially someone who's a loner by nature?

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      freelanc3posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I think the key word that you use here is unexpected!  When you're a loner or prefer to be alone; however you want to look at it; that unless you've invited someone into your space then you feel awkward and not at home.  I know that I can barely handle friends crashing for a night let alone that turning into a few more nights and after they leave I exhale like I've been holding my breath for an eternity.  Bottom line is that from what you've said above you feel like you're being invaded in your own home and that's certainly no way to live.  You may need to kindly ask your guest to leave and if you can't do that sell the house and move into something smaller so they can't move with you.

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   TLMinutposted 11 years ago

   I'm not the only person who feels like this!
   --> I know that I can barely handle friends crashing for a night let alone that turning into a few more nights and after they leave I exhale like I've been holding my breath for an eternity. <--
   
   It feels incredibly selfish and I've tried imagining a few times having him here and it sometimes sounds like fun. And there are some other coincidences that make me wonder - my son was in the potential roommates situation, though he answered an ad for roommate wanted, and he's so happy and doing so well. Shouldn't I do that for someone else's son? Especially a guy who was in the same graduating class with my son? And the guy who inspired me to listen to a song whose lead singer shares a name with that same son?
   
   I think I'm wondering just how wrong it is to be an introverted loner. Current impressions of this type of person is dangerous and psychotic. (But then if I truly am, I shouldn't take an impressionable young man into my home, I might corrupt him! LOL!) I talked to him again last night and the point may be moot after all. He's asking to bring three dogs with him. Nope.

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      WriteAngledposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I am an introverted loner and totally happy with the fact.
      
      If ra-ra, team-obsessed morons, with no concept of the importance of privacy, want to label me psychotic, then I can equally easily label them as emotional cripples who are unable to function without constant feedback from others. They are probably also the sort of people who become frantic if television or pop music is not playing incessantly in the background.
      
      I am delighted to live alone, apart from when my daughters come to visit, and would not dream of sharing my 3-bedroom house with a stranger. When I want company, I can find it from my cats or from the people I meet outside the home when I indulge in my many interests.

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   Hollie Thomasposted 11 years ago

   I am also a loner I always have been, even as a child I preferred my own company and often found ways to entertain myself. I share my home with my two kids and that's fine, but on the odd occasion people visit I can't wait for them to leave. In fact, when someone suggests visiting I make excuses then offer to visit them so that I can leave whenever I want.
   
   No wonder both my marriages were a disaster.

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      WriteAngledposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Let's agree not to visit each other, Hollie!

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         Hollie Thomasposted 11 years agoin reply to this

         Yes, life is can be so much more rewarding when people understand each other.

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   TLMinutposted 11 years ago

   Write, I like the way you think! And yes, with your own kids, it isn't anything like the same, they kind of ARE you so there's no issue. Maybe I'm just enjoying the empty-nest time and it hasn't worn off yet. It hasn't been long at all. And Hollie, I do the same thing - I'm the one who goes to visit instead of people coming here. I just know so many people who are obsessed with noise and social interaction and they think I'm odd. If you knew how much I talk at work, you wouldn't believe I'm a loner though. I run my mouth so much it's ridiculous, I have to tell my own self to shut up. Nothing I have to say is so important that it can't go without being said...
   My marriage wasn't a disaster because we were both exactly the same way, we both wanted about the same amount of interaction and it was wonderful. We could give and take on it and really, it was just right.

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      Hollie Thomasposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Well that's good. To be honest though, it's not just about the interaction or lack of. I'm too selfish to share my life. There's absolutely no way on earth I could possibly enter into a relationship where I had to explain where I was going, or who I was meeting or why I didn't feel like talking. I've been on my own for too long and I'm set in my ways.  I just don't feel that benefits of a relationship are worth the sacrifices.
      
      I'm also a stubborn old fart.

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   tamronposted 11 years ago

   I wouldn't suggest getting a roommate.  If you can afford to live a lone thats your best bet.  Once you let someone move in its very hard to get them out.  The person you mentioned asked about 3 dogs there is nothing stopping that person from moving the dogs in once you have moved them in.  Don't do it!
   
   If you kicked them out and change the locks they can bust your windows and the cops can't do nothing about it because its a civil matter.
   
   You can evict them but that won't stop them from destroying your property in the mean time.

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