need some honest feedback on my hub please

  1. marylen34 profile image61
    marylen34posted 2 years ago

    Hi there, could you please give me an honest feedback on my hub please. I just started on hubpage two days ago, I believe majority of you here were expert on field and would loved to have a piece of your expertise. thank you

    1. ddsurfsca profile image76
      ddsurfscaposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      I have a couple of suggestions.    You need to look at your grammer and sentence structure.  Also you need to pick a main idea of what you are trying to get across to your readers.  Is this an article on the do's and dont's of good parenting, or are you  using your father and yourself as what can happen, ?    Also, you have jumped from past tense to present time and even into the future.  Your article will be easier to read and understAND  what your point is if you keep it all in the same tense.
      I can feel the enthusiasm of your idea, but its getting lost in the grammer and sentense structure.

      1. marylen34 profile image61
        marylen34posted 2 years agoin reply to this

        hi there,yes thank you, that's what I am trying to implement to enhance my writing, ye supposed to be in a certain category of what the topic is mainly about, in doing so, I can broaden my topic, thank you for pointing out.

        Literally, I am still in the process of exploring the better way of putting my words into much details. I take hubpage as my stepping stone , your feedbacks matters a lot. thank you.