I'd like feedback on my Hub: Concealed World War Tragedy - the SS Mendi Disaste

1. 70

   MartieCoetserposted 7 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my Hub Concealed  World War Tragedy - the SS Mendi Disaster.
   
   The original title was "South Africa Commemorated SS Mendi Disaster"
   
   HubPages team asked me to change the title in order for the hub to become Featured.
   
   I have changed the title to "Concealed World War Tragedy - the SS Mendi Disaster"
   
   Do you think my change is in order, or do you have another suggestion?
   
   Thanks!
   
   PS: The hub is part of my series "Trend of Events in South Africa".

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      greenmindposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Hi -- for a person arriving at this Hub not knowing it's part of a current events series, the disconnect between the title and the first 1000 words is really confusing. Can you lead with the SS Mendi story? Give us a paragraph explaining the basics?

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2. 82

   kryptowriteposted 7 years ago

   MartieCoetser,
   
   I agree with Greenmind. Hubpages is not really the place for day-to-day journalism (in my opinion).
   
   I can tell that you have a lot to say and hold very strong opinions on this topic, but I believe that you are trying to pack too much into one article.
   
   Keep in mind that Hubpages wants to make money. They need articles that will be popular clicks for internet surfers for extended periods and not be restricted to a segmented audience or be old news the week after it is published. Try to stay away from comments like, "I am publishing this Hub on Sunday." A random internet reader will not know what you are talking about.
   
   In short, find key points that you want to make, and package them in entertaining and educational writing that people will enjoy reading. Some random reader, like myself, will begin reading this article and not know what you are talking about. Even if you wish to continue this roving reporter style, each article should stand alone and start with a basic summary which you will expand on in the article.
   
   Also, if you do continue the daily reporting style, I personally prefer factual reporting without personal opinions included. Opinions are for Facebook, social media, and well established journalists or topic experts.
   
   I hope this review is helpful to you, and I wish you the best in your future writing efforts.

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3. 70

   MartieCoetserposted 7 years ago

   Thank you so much greenmind and kryptowrite! I will follow your advice.

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