I'd like feedback on my Hub: Never Changing that Word Feminism Will Destroy Us

  1. profile image0
    threekeysposted 8 years ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my Hub Never Changing that Word Feminism Will Destroy Us. What can I do to improve? Thanks!

    replyreport
  2. Kylyssa profile image97
    Kylyssaposted 8 years ago

    I'd start by changing the title to something that means the same thing you intend it to mean in more standard and accurate English. Read your title aloud and think about how you'd describe what your hub is about to someone who doesn't know you, using a single phrase.

    The next major issue is that many of your sentences are fragments. You also have a paragraph beginning with what appears to be the second half of a sentence from the previous paragraph.

    While your ideas are good and varied, they aren't presented in an orderly manner that flows from one subject to another. Try taking each sentence and deciding what sub-sub-topic it is about and putting sentences on the same sub-sub-topics only with their closest relatives. Cover one sub-sub-topic then transition to the next, and the next, and so on, and then summarize and conclude at the end if desired.

    I'd also suggest adding more concrete facts to the hub, such as examples of what you are discussing from the news, law, and history.

    replyreport
    1. profile image0
      threekeysposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Constuctive and clarifying. Really appreciated!

      replyreport
 
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