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I would like some feedback and criticism on my hub

  1. k@ri profile image81
    k@riposted 7 weeks ago

    Hi Everyone...I was wondering if I could get some feedback and criticism on my hub, How to Get a Little Revenge This Mother's Day--Gifts for Your Mother-In-Law.  I would also appreciate any views and/or recommendations on the title.  Thank you all for your help!!  Kari

    1. TIMETRAVELER2 profile image92
      TIMETRAVELER2posted 7 weeks ago in reply to this

      link is not working.

      1. k@ri profile image81
        k@riposted 7 weeks ago in reply to this

        I'll try to fix this. Thanks for letting me know. smile

      2. k@ri profile image81
        k@riposted 7 weeks ago in reply to this

        Hmm, I'll have to work on this...it won't let me edit the capsule anymore.  Thanks again!

  2. pen promulgates profile image78
    pen promulgatesposted 7 weeks ago

    Hey Kari,

    Your article is humorous.

    My observations:
    The summary is as same as the introduction to your article. You might want to change that. For a summary,  it has many questions. In fact, it's only interrogative.

    Honestly, I found that the emphasis of your article is more in promoting (selling) those products than building a good relationship with a mother- in- law.
    In short, it doesn't have an emotional touch. Hope I am not offending you.
    smile

    1. k@ri profile image81
      k@riposted 7 weeks ago in reply to this

      Thank you.  I'm feeling the same way.  I'm going to rework it.  I really appreciate the feedback! smile

  3. k@ri profile image81
    k@riposted 7 weeks ago

    I have reworked this hub and given it a new title.  Please give me criticism and suggestions on improvment.  The title was "How to Get a Little Revenge This Mother's Day--Gifts for your Mother-In-Law.

    New title:  4 Perfect Gifts for your Mother-In-Law

    Let me know if the title is an improvement or if I should go back to the older one.

    Here is the link.

    https://hubpages.com/holidays/Have-a-Li … her-In-Law

  4. pen promulgates profile image78
    pen promulgatesposted 7 weeks ago

    Hi Kari,
    Wow.
    It looks like you have done some magic on the article.
    It doesn't sound commercial to me anymore (at least to me). Seriously, as compared to before, it looks much better and genuine. Good job!

    Some observations:
    In robotic paragraph, there is much spacing at the end. If you can remove the empty lines..

    Roomba is repeated so many times that it sounds a little too much while reading.

    I'm not sure you should use the rating capsule. (they are mostly for recipe and movie reviews).

    Rest is good! smile

    1. k@ri profile image81
      k@riposted 7 weeks ago in reply to this

      Thanks so much for your feedback!  I think I'll name Roomba "Sally" so it is not repeated so often.  I had thought the same thing.  Do you think I should leave the videos of the mirror and Roomba?  I can't decide if that makes it spammy also.  I was also wondering about the title.  I read that lists are very big right now and shorter titles work better than longer.  Any thoughts?  Thanks again, Pen smile

  5. pen promulgates profile image78
    pen promulgatesposted 7 weeks ago

    Hey kari,

    As I see, you have already changed the title, you might want to consider changes I recommend below.

    Honestly, though the title is apt, it sounds cliche. Earlier it had an intriguing charm, but then the content was a little unrelated to the title.
    Can you make it more catchy?
    Something like, '4 perfect gifts your mother-in-law will always thank you for' or something on those lines, I guess you understand what I mean.

    Ha ha.. Revenge no longer exists, you changed the hub for good. You might want to remove 'revenge subtool' from the summary.

    Can you put something else as the main image (the one that appears on the slider)? 
    The snow white's evil queen image is for one product only, your hub has more content to that.
    The joker image doesn't fit. (it's of a man..he he)

    The mirror video is a little boring, you can remove that. Not the roomba video though. Roomba video Is interesting to watch, can trigger purchase too.

    I hope you have confirmed about the rating capsule?

    Your link doesn't work in the forum. That's stopping other Hubbers to give their insight. smile

  6. pen promulgates profile image78
    pen promulgatesposted 7 weeks ago

    Your hub is a featured hub, why spammy? Did moderators email you or something?

    As I have been active in the community lately, Hubbers speak of long tail keyword title as most successful these days.

  7. pen promulgates profile image78
    pen promulgatesposted 7 weeks ago

    Also, because you put the link in a discussion forum, it is not working I believe. In community and help section, under improvement in article sub-category, the link should work for others to review.

    1. k@ri profile image81
      k@riposted 7 weeks ago in reply to this

      Thanks for all your help.  I really appreciate you taking the time! smile

  8. pen promulgates profile image78
    pen promulgatesposted 7 weeks ago

    Pleasure. I got some gift ideas for my mother-in-law when I get one smile

 
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