I would like some feedback and criticism on my hub

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   k@riposted 7 years ago

   Hi Everyone...I was wondering if I could get some feedback and criticism on my hub, How to Get a Little Revenge This Mother's Day--Gifts for Your Mother-In-Law.  I would also appreciate any views and/or recommendations on the title.  Thank you all for your help!!  Kari

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      TIMETRAVELER2posted 7 years agoin reply to this

      link is not working.

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         k@riposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         I'll try to fix this. Thanks for letting me know.

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         k@riposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         Hmm, I'll have to work on this...it won't let me edit the capsule anymore.  Thanks again!

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   pen promulgatesposted 7 years ago

   Hey Kari,
   
   Your article is humorous.
   
   My observations:
   The summary is as same as the introduction to your article. You might want to change that. For a summary,  it has many questions. In fact, it's only interrogative.
   
   Honestly, I found that the emphasis of your article is more in promoting (selling) those products than building a good relationship with a mother- in- law.
   In short, it doesn't have an emotional touch. Hope I am not offending you.
   

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      k@riposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you.  I'm feeling the same way.  I'm going to rework it.  I really appreciate the feedback!

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   k@riposted 7 years ago

   I have reworked this hub and given it a new title.  Please give me criticism and suggestions on improvment.  The title was "How to Get a Little Revenge This Mother's Day--Gifts for your Mother-In-Law.
   
   New title:  4 Perfect Gifts for your Mother-In-Law
   
   Let me know if the title is an improvement or if I should go back to the older one.
   
   Here is the link.
   
   https://hubpages.com/holidays/Have-a-Li … her-In-Law

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   pen promulgatesposted 7 years ago

   Hi Kari,
   Wow.
   It looks like you have done some magic on the article.
   It doesn't sound commercial to me anymore (at least to me). Seriously, as compared to before, it looks much better and genuine. Good job!
   
   Some observations:
   In robotic paragraph, there is much spacing at the end. If you can remove the empty lines..
   
   Roomba is repeated so many times that it sounds a little too much while reading.
   
   I'm not sure you should use the rating capsule. (they are mostly for recipe and movie reviews).
   
   Rest is good!

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      k@riposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks so much for your feedback!  I think I'll name Roomba "Sally" so it is not repeated so often.  I had thought the same thing.  Do you think I should leave the videos of the mirror and Roomba?  I can't decide if that makes it spammy also.  I was also wondering about the title.  I read that lists are very big right now and shorter titles work better than longer.  Any thoughts?  Thanks again, Pen

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   pen promulgatesposted 7 years ago

   Hey kari,
   
   As I see, you have already changed the title, you might want to consider changes I recommend below.
   
   Honestly, though the title is apt, it sounds cliche. Earlier it had an intriguing charm, but then the content was a little unrelated to the title.
   Can you make it more catchy?
   Something like, '4 perfect gifts your mother-in-law will always thank you for' or something on those lines, I guess you understand what I mean.
   
   Ha ha.. Revenge no longer exists, you changed the hub for good. You might want to remove 'revenge subtool' from the summary.
   
   Can you put something else as the main image (the one that appears on the slider)? 
   The snow white's evil queen image is for one product only, your hub has more content to that.
   The joker image doesn't fit. (it's of a man..he he)
   
   The mirror video is a little boring, you can remove that. Not the roomba video though. Roomba video Is interesting to watch, can trigger purchase too.
   
   I hope you have confirmed about the rating capsule?
   
   Your link doesn't work in the forum. That's stopping other Hubbers to give their insight.

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   pen promulgatesposted 7 years ago

   Your hub is a featured hub, why spammy? Did moderators email you or something?
   
   As I have been active in the community lately, Hubbers speak of long tail keyword title as most successful these days.

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   pen promulgatesposted 7 years ago

   Also, because you put the link in a discussion forum, it is not working I believe. In community and help section, under improvement in article sub-category, the link should work for others to review.

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      k@riposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for all your help.  I really appreciate you taking the time!

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   pen promulgatesposted 7 years ago

   Pleasure. I got some gift ideas for my mother-in-law when I get one

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