I need a 2nd pair of eyes to proof read my article.

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  1. newbizmau profile image91
    newbizmauposted 9 months ago

    I'm almost sure there are some grammatical or spelling mistakes. Please help if you can proof read this article for me.

    11:11 The Phenomenon and Numerology Crystal Connection
    https://hubpages.com/religion-philosoph … -Number-11

    1. stuff4kids profile image97
      stuff4kidsposted 9 months agoin reply to this

      That's quite a big ask!

      You probably need to make a small investment. You can invest either money or time.

      Professional proofreaders charge either by the hour or by the word. Fees are typically $30 to $95 per hour or $0.10 to $0.25 per word. You can find cheaper services, but you should be careful about the quality and credentials of the proofreader. Most reputable proofreaders offer a short sample proofread before an engagement.

      Although I doubt that it's worth spending money on a hub. Particularly one as “niche” as this which will probably never pull much traffic.

      Alternatively, study grammar, syntax, and current usage so that you are able to proofread your own work. Good books are available from most public libraries. I think anyone who publishes their work and wants others to read it should do this in any case if only for the sake of the reader's experience.

      Good luck.

      1. TIMETRAVELER2 profile image98
        TIMETRAVELER2posted 9 months agoin reply to this

        I hardly think the OP needs help with grammar and syntax.  He writes beautifully.  As a former Language Arts teacher and HP writer who has more than one million 850 thousand views, I think I'm quite qualified to make that statement.

        He wasn't asking for an edit, just some basic help.  While his hub is not perfect, it only needs some focus and organization...things which are relatively easy to learn.

        If you don't want to offer help, then don't...but don't bash him for doing what so many others here do all the time.

        1. Marisa Wright profile image97
          Marisa Wrightposted 9 months agoin reply to this

          To be fair, the OP asked for someone to "proof read" his article and also said he wanted someone to look for "grammatical or spelling mistakes".   

          We've had several such requests recently on the forums, and usually they're from people who need a LOT of grammar and spelling help - so I wouldn't be surprised if Amanda reacted to the request without even looking at the Hub, having had enough of people asking for so much work for free.

          1. TIMETRAVELER2 profile image98
            TIMETRAVELER2posted 9 months agoin reply to this

            Yes, I am aware of this.  The term "proof read" can mean different things to different people.  He was not asking for a total rewrite or in depth edit, but apparently that is how his request was interpreted.  I know people come onto the forums who do want those things, but I think that before people jump all over them they should take the time to look at the hub in question or just ignore the request if they so choose.

            This particular writer has great potential and I would hate to see him turned off by someone who became frustrated about this issue.

            1. Marisa Wright profile image97
              Marisa Wrightposted 9 months agoin reply to this

              I always thought "proof read" meant to go through something with a fine tooth comb and spot grammar and spelling mistakes.  And if you look at the OP's post, that's exactly what he asked for.  I don't think there's any room for misunderstanding there.

            2. AliciaC profile image99
              AliciaCposted 9 months agoin reply to this

              Sorry, TT2, I agree with Marisa. Proofreading means checking for grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors. I think this is the definition that HubPages is following in their emails.

              1. TIMETRAVELER2 profile image98
                TIMETRAVELER2posted 9 months agoin reply to this

                Yes, but some people think the term also means to "edit", which is a much more complex action.

                1. Marisa Wright profile image97
                  Marisa Wrightposted 9 months agoin reply to this

                  I don't think people see it as meaning something more complex.  I think they feel that proof-reading is a slow, detailed business.

                  In fact, I'd prefer to "edit" a Hub than proofread it.  If I'm editing, I'm looking for structural problems, non-compliant links, Amazon problems, etc.   When I post my suggestions, I'm not just helping the Hubber fix that particular Hub - I'm giving them information which they can apply to future Hubs. After a few Hubs, that Hubber won't need to keep posting for help on the forums, they'll have learned enough to do it on their own.

                  If I'm asked to proof read, then I have to check every word and phrase for spelling and grammar, and note them all down.   The corrections I make will fix that Hub - but unless I'm going to start giving the Hubber lessons in grammar and spelling, I'm not teaching them anything that will help them improve.  They'll keep coming back because what I've taught them is, you can get easy access to let others do your work for you.

                  1. TIMETRAVELER2 profile image98
                    TIMETRAVELER2posted 9 months agoin reply to this

                    You definitely make your point.  However, in this case, it no longer matters because I double checked to see if the OP had in fact plagiarized...and he had!  In my mind proofing and editing had pretty much been interchangeable terms and I imagine they are for others as well.  Doesn't really matter/  Apparently what I've been doing is editing, not proof reading!  The terminology won't change a thing about what I do.

        2. newbizmau profile image91
          newbizmauposted 9 months agoin reply to this

          TIMETRAVELER2,

          I thank you again for your kind compliments. I have read some of your articles and find you to be a better judge of writing. Although in the end, I did get some great advice here in this forum for my article, I've learned so much more about the social climate here on HubPages. It's very different than Squidoo used to be. What happened?

    2. TIMETRAVELER2 profile image98
      TIMETRAVELER2posted 9 months agoin reply to this

      OK..it's me again!

      Took a look and still feel that although your writing is excellent, it doesn't seem to flow or maintain focus.

      Your title would be more enticing if it was something like "What Does 11:11 Mean, and How Does It Relate to Crystals"...or something similar.

      You need an introduction.

      Also, I must tell you that you write on an extremely sophisticated level, but unfortunately, most people read on 6th grade level...so you are writing above their level in what seems to be an extremely technical subject.

      I found the article fascinating, but I have a Master's Degree...most who read online articles do not.

      You may have to focus more and dumb things down more if you want people to find and read your work.  Otherwise you'll be appealing to a very small niche, which means you may get low views and low income!

    3. theraggededge profile image97
      theraggededgeposted 9 months agoin reply to this

      Hi there,

      I took a look. I would suggest you try to reduce the frequency of the 'keyword': 11:11. I know it is the topic of the article, but it's over-used. 29 times to be precise.

      Also, the word, 'may' appears 24 times. Try to rephrase.

      Your writing is a little rambling and vague. You should go right through and delete any unnecessary words. Your goal in a factual article is for crisp, lively writing that keeps the reader wanting to read on. See if you can swap out adjectives for active verbs. Watch out for too many 'ing' verbs. Rephrase so the sentence is clearer

      The info about you should be in the article bio. The intro should be only about the topic, not about you.

      You can't discuss 11:11 without mentioning the number one. You also could mention that 11 in tarot relates to justice (karma, balance).

      Jade in the middle of a sentence shouldn't be capitalised. Similarly, 'empath'.

      Hope that helps.

      1. newbizmau profile image91
        newbizmauposted 9 months agoin reply to this

        Thank you that really helps a lot. It's funny you mention Jade and Empath. I tried using Grammarly and it kept flagging those words and wanting me to capitalize them. I thought that was weird too.

  2. newbizmau profile image91
    newbizmauposted 9 months ago

    That wasn't helpful at all and I think I've just been insulted as well.

    1. stuff4kids profile image97
      stuff4kidsposted 9 months agoin reply to this

      I've no idea why you feel insulted by my advice. Why should anyone proofread an almost 1000 word article for nothing? However, here's my feedback on the first part of your hub.

      "Explaining a divine phenomenon isn't the easiest task. I will give it my best effort to explain [what is the meaning of] (1) seeing 11:11 [constantly] (2), [it's] (3) relation to you and your life, and also the relation to crystals.

      I'm Maurice Glaude [,] (4) I've been a massage therapist for well over 10 years, a seeker of knowledge and have experienced the same phenomenon [that] (5) you may [be experiencing] (6) now. My answers have come from following the signs of my [own] (7) intuition and learning about crystals over the last 10 years. I can tell you now [that](8) you never stop learning or experiencing and the adventure only gets greater. Join me now as we discuss seeing 11:11 and how this relates to your life. We will also discuss how seeing 11:11 could mean [that] (9) you are highly sensitive or even an Empath."

      1. Hidden verb resulting in a clumsy phrase. Try simplifying the statement. For example, "to explain what seeing 11:11 means"

      2. Unnecessary adverb

      3. Misuse of an apostrophe. This is the possessive form so use "its"

      4. Use period not comma

      5. Unnecessary conjunction

      6. Confused verb use. Replace with "experience"

      7. Unnecessary adjective

      8. Unnecessary conjunction

      9. Unnecessary conjunction

      And so on throughout the hub. I counted 26 errors of which 5 are serious grammar mistakes and the remaining errors are problems of diction and style.

      To resolve these issues you may either pay a proofreader to check the entire document, or learn the rules of English grammar by way of a course or from a book.

      "The Elements of Style" by Strunk & White (ISBN-13: 978-0205309023) is a standard and accessible text available from all bookshops and most libraries.

      You may also wish to check the scientific accuracy of your statements about DNA and offer supporting evidence for your claims. Google places increasing emphasis not only on correct grammar and readability but also on factual accuracy.

      You’ve copied 25% of your hub word-for-word from other sources without permission or acknowledgement. TiffanyStyles.com and UniversalLifeTools.com may ring bells. Plagiarism is illegal and penalized by the search engines.

      I hope that helps.

      1. newbizmau profile image91
        newbizmauposted 9 months agoin reply to this

        Thank you stuff4kids,
        That was very helpful and the most helpful was pointing out that 2 websites may have stolen my material. This isn't a new article and I wrote it many years ago before even publishing it. It was a blog post once before I deleted that blog altogether and recreated it on Hubpages. I will take your suggestion and try that book.
        By the way, it was suggested by Hubpages to put it on the forum for help proofreading. This is my first time ever putting an article for that and I didn't expect to be belittled and bullied. I can imagine new Hubpage members reading this and getting discouraged about putting anything on these forums.

        1. stuff4kids profile image97
          stuff4kidsposted 9 months agoin reply to this

          Well, I'll leave it there.

          I've given up my time to help you, showing you what's involved in proofreading your work and offering advice about how to do it. I've made no personal slights or insults; just offered useful, factual information and actionable advice.

          Now to accuse me of belittling and bullying you, does that seem fair? Accusing me of bullying is serious and hurtful, you know. Honestly, I can find no insults in this thread but yours.

          You leave me saddened, a little hurt, and discouraged - and much less likely to help on the forums. I suppose an apology would be too much to ask?

          1. newbizmau profile image91
            newbizmauposted 9 months agoin reply to this

            Sorry that part about the bullying wasn't for you at all. It was for the person who commented after you. I sincerly thanked you and will take all of your help in gratitude. The comment I was referring to was by firstcookbooklady, "No. Insulted would be if someone read it, and the comment they left was "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ROFL."

            I really truly appreciated your advice and I am deeply sorry how this came across.

            1. stuff4kids profile image97
              stuff4kidsposted 9 months agoin reply to this

              I accept your apology.

              Although you're mistaken to direct accusations of bullying at anyone here, including Char (firstcookbooklady), whose comment I read as humorously pointing out that no-one had insulted you, and not spiteful at all.

              I rather think you owe her an apology now, too. And then perhaps you'd better leave it at that.

              I wish you well.

  3. Marsei profile image90
    Marseiposted 9 months ago

    It is good advice.  There is nothing mean-spirited about it, just facts.

  4. Luke Holm profile image96
    Luke Holmposted 9 months ago

    Well, a large majority of the information in your article is plagiarized word for word, so I would focus on citing your sources as a good start to your revision process. At least create a bibliography with where you got the information from. Passing off other people's words as your own isn't very ethical.

  5. Luke Holm profile image96
    Luke Holmposted 9 months ago

    On a more constructive note, I suggest changing up your vocabulary as much as possible. While I thought your article was easy to understand, there are a lot of repeating phrases which often scores lower for Google's websearch spiders and SEO.  Here are some other fixes (ctrl+f to find these parts quickly):

    You may be here because you've been seeing 11:11 show up just about [everywhere].

    Consider writing objectively (not speaking directly to your audience). This will make your article more informational rather than appealing to a specific audience.

    Define uncommon vocabulary, or at least provide links to unfamiliar terms such as "Angel Numbers," "Master Numbers," etc.

    Finally, I think the flow of your article could be improved. It seems like you did do some research on this topic, but that your research is compiled a bit haphazardly. Spend more time going into detail about what you are talking about. To me, it just seems like a bunch of information smooshed together (but that's just me). I suggest you reread your article and create an outline of your main points (to see it from a greater perspective). Looking at your outline, do your ideas flow well? Where are there gaps?

    The article is good. It just needs more links to unfamiliar vocabulary, citations to work you copied verbatim, and a clearer progression of ideas for your audience. I didn't find many grammatical errors within your writing.

  6. newbizmau profile image91
    newbizmauposted 9 months ago

    TIMETRAVELER2,
    Thank you for your kind words. I had no idea I wrote at that level. I did get an idea though when I tried using an app that gauges reader level and I saw that some phrasing and words I chose could be arranged differently. By the way, I have reworded that title many times and you are absolutely right. The word phenomenon just needs to go. Your title is much simpler and still makes perfect sense. I will take all of your suggestions. I appreciate it greatly.

    Maurice

    1. TIMETRAVELER2 profile image98
      TIMETRAVELER2posted 9 months agoin reply to this

      Many here who seek help don't have the first inkling of how to properly write, but you clearly aren't one of them.  I really believe that by simplifying your titles and general wordage and breaking your content into smaller capsules with good subtitles, you can do really well here.

      This is easy to say but not so easy to do!  I assume you've already looked at a few of my articles to see how I write and structure them.  If not, you should.  Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words!

    2. TIMETRAVELER2 profile image98
      TIMETRAVELER2posted 9 months agoin reply to this

      I was very unhappy to see that what another poster here stated seemed to be true.  I only checked briefly, but it does appear that you copied the work of other online writers word for word.

      If you have been doing this, please remove this and other articles that you have copied paritally or iin whole asap.  If you don't, you'll be receiving DMCA notices which will require you to do the same.

      HP is a place where people are supposed to write completely original articles.  This one, at least, and from what has been said and from what I've seen myself, does not meet that requirement.

  7. firstcookbooklady profile image85
    firstcookbookladyposted 9 months ago

    No. Insulted would be if someone read it, and the comment they left was "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ROFL."

  8. psycheskinner profile image82
    psycheskinnerposted 9 months ago

    Forums can be daunting but there is a difference between negative input and bullying, we have no power or authority over you and our opinions carry as much weight as you give them.  It is inherent in the nature of forums that personalities and responses will vary.

  9. Rupert Taylor profile image97
    Rupert Taylorposted 9 months ago

    Maurice Glaude, let me be one of many here who will rush to the defence of Amanda Littlejohn. She has given you a lot of valuable advice and has in no way disrespected you. The only negative personal comments have come from you aimed at someone who genuinely tried to assist you.

    All the people in the forums who offer help to writers who can't get past the QAP do so on a voluntary basis. We receive no personal gain except from those who thank us for our input.

    Occasionally, a would-be writer lashes out when told their work is not good enough and, it seems, you have joined the cohort that feels personally aggrieved by being told the truth.

    If you don't want to accept practical assistance, don't ask for it. Would you rather be told your work is sparklingly wonderful when it isn't?

    And, yes, you owe Amanda Littlejohn an apology.

    1. newbizmau profile image91
      newbizmauposted 9 months agoin reply to this

      Thanks for coming to her defense. She deserves it. It was just a mistake on my part not to mention the comment I was referring to.

      Sorry about the confusion.

    2. stuff4kids profile image97
      stuff4kidsposted 9 months agoin reply to this

      Thank you, Rupert.

  10. Luke Holm profile image96
    Luke Holmposted 9 months ago

    ...did y'all miss my original comment? These sentiments are days late to the game. I've looked at his other articles and "could use a second pair of eyes," because to me it looks like the large majority of them are plagiarized word for word.

 
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