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jump to last post 1-3 of 3 discussions (8 posts)

I'd like feedback on my article: No barriers

  1. Bhargavi Acharya profile image82
    Bhargavi Acharyaposted 4 months ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article No barriers (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks!

    1. theraggededge profile image97
      theraggededgeposted 4 months agoin reply to this

      Hi there,

      You need to use paragraphs and lose the swear words. They really aren't necessary, and look unprofessional.

      It reads an awful lot like an article I read yesterday on Thought Catalogue, even down to the cursing.

      1. Bhargavi Acharya profile image82
        Bhargavi Acharyaposted 4 months agoin reply to this

        Thank you so much!

    2. greenmind profile image96
      greenmindposted 4 months agoin reply to this

      I like the outpouring of positive vibes. There's a mixed metaphor in the middle, though -- a freight train cannot punch anyone in the face.

  2. Atanas Yonkov profile image84
    Atanas Yonkovposted 4 months ago

    Hi Bhargavi Acharya,

    In my opinion, your article is a bit difficult to read. First thing you should do - change the headline. Make it more interesting. Your goal should be to grab the readers from the first sentence and not to let them go until the last. You should give more examples to make it more understandable and concise. Give some interesting ideas and examples. Just declaring that "life sucks" a few times in your article is not convincing enough.

    It is also a good idea to put some visuals (images). Make it a bit longer and more interesting. Good luck!

    1. Bhargavi Acharya profile image82
      Bhargavi Acharyaposted 4 months agoin reply to this

      Thank you!!! ^_^

  3. Rupert Taylor profile image98
    Rupert Taylorposted 4 months ago

    Very thin on information and some of the phrasing leaves me puzzled.

    "Ashen yourself in moments and memories and everything in between." Huh?

    I just don't see this as HubPages material. More of a personal blog.

    1. Bhargavi Acharya profile image82
      Bhargavi Acharyaposted 4 months agoin reply to this

      Thank you for the feedback! smile

 
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