Middle Children

1. 92

   RedElfposted 15 years ago

   Just re-reading a comment Brenda Sculley made about being a middle child...
   Are any of those things we hear about middle children true? Are we ignored or passed over? Do we miss out on attention? Are we natural peacemakers?
   We "know" that first born children are leaders, break new trails, are looked up to, are more responsible - or have responsibilities thrust upon them.
   By the same token, we also know about the "baby" of the family.
   As middle children, to what, in our personalities, does birth order contribute?
   There must be more of us out there - what has been your experience growing up as the "filling in the sandwich"?

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2. 69

   Anti-Valentineposted 15 years ago

   My one brother is the middle child, and he said the day I was born was the worst day of his life. Terrible thing to say, eh?
   
   I've heard that nobody cares about the middle child.

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3. 74

   frogdroppingposted 15 years ago

   I was the middle child (and knew it) for long enough to stay in that position, even when my sister came along and made me one of four.
   
   But I don't blame 'middle child' syndrome on that. My mother took a disliking to me when I was born. And at that stage, I was the baby of the family

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4. 68

   lrohnerposted 15 years ago

   You should read "The Birth Order Book: Why You Are the Way You Are". It's fascinating. They also have ancillary books talking about the oldest, middle and youngest child.
   
   My middle daughter fits the profile to a T. In nursery school, she was voted the one "most likely to become a social worker" and always the negotiator breaking up fights. She does her own thing in her own way instead of following others, and yet others are absolutely attracted to her peaceful nature and she has loads and loads of wonderful friends.
   
   For what it's worth, my other two children are also very typical oldest and youngest as well.

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5. 54

   Dame Scribeposted 15 years ago

   I have a daughter n son that are middle children and they are more serious and studious, the baby n eldest are more of the reckless and outgoing sorts but they all look out for each other n me, lol

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6. 64

   Lisa HWposted 15 years ago

   I'm a middle child; and from what I've experienced, those books about birth order are pretty much a bunch of bunk.  In fairness to those books, there is 4 and a half years spacing between me and my siblings, and most do acknowledge that spacing is a factor.  The other part of that, though, is that any time siblings aren't spaced well there tends to be more issues, no matter what the birth order. 
   
   For me, the only big problem with being a middle child was having adults watching me for signs that I "had problems" because I was middle child.  To make it worse, I was the only one in the family to write with my left hand; so you can imagine how a poorly informed mother would be looking for signs of problems!  (In fairness to my otherwise fine and loving mother, there was a lot more ignorance about things like being left-handed when I was a kid.  Today, there remains a lot of ignorance about middle children as well.)      Of course, one thing that may have worked in my favor (in this world that thinks middle children "have to have problems") is that grew up strong and with a lot of "fight/feistiness" (which is better than being passively delighted with everything in the world).
   
   I have three children myself, as well as coming from a family of three children (and my sister has three children, as well).  From what I've seen, there is no shortage of leadership skills or sense of responsibility in middle children.  If everyone in this world could be as admirable, well adjusted, solid, and thoughtful as my own middle child, the world would be a far better place.  Whether a middle child has "issues" or not (I think) is how well parents can see them as individuals, not as "middle children".  The minute parents allow the "middle-child factor" into their thinking they have already allowed a toxic attitude to rob their middle child (who may otherwise be fine, solid, well adjusted, and happy) of the chance to be seen as an individual in his own right.

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7. 60

   love my yorkiesposted 15 years ago

   Well, I'm number four out of five, but I think the middle child thing applies to me as well.  All I heard from my parents as a young child growing up was "the three oldest this and the three oldest that and I was always compared to my sister( who is the oldest) and was always being told stuff like "your sister wouldn't do that or why can't you be more like your sister and things of that nature.  And then my younger brother came along (the baby) and could do no wrong and got away with more stuff and anything he told my parents they believed.  God, it was absolutely awful.

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