A very entertaining subject, in my opinion.
Reply: How you act when you see someone you are extremely attracted to. Do you go home regretting not saying anything every time? Do you go for it every time? Do you manage the huevos sometimes? Do you just wait around hoping someone will come talk to you?
I have a tendency to not initiate conversation. I never go out (to the bars, etc.) with the intention of taking a girl home (in fact, I don't think I ever really have). That may sound strange, but I've had my share of encounters and I'm looking to meet a girl that I want to keep around for more than one night haha. So, even though my motivation is different than most guys and girls, I still have the same desire for initiation. The main thing with me is that I am always too polite and worried about implications. I always feel like I'll come off as a big douche just trying to take a girl home when I think about approaching a girl. Another thing is that almost everytime I do approach a girl these days, I end up realizing that I don't want to talk to them after about 30 seconds. So, with my combined lack of luck and my overbearing conscious, I tend to not get anything done anymore.
My take on your question is that you need to re-think the environment where you meet women. Maybe this sounds hokey, but look for a group that is "doing something"...it could be a community improvement project, or an informal jazz appreciation group, or a mixed volleyball team (whatever sport). The point is that you will be involved in the activity, along with the attractive women you would like to talk to. In such a situation, it's easy to start a conversation about your project (picking up trash on the beach or helping paint an elderly person's house or planting a community garden)...maybe it's a book discussion group (if you like books)...you can watch the way various women enter the discussion and decide who your top three candidates are for conversation.
In short, if you want to go to a bar, meet the woman at another place, another environment, start a chat and THEN say, "Would you like to join me for a drink?" Be yourself...ask the woman questions about her interests (not deeply personal, though)...you should give the impression that you're a friendly person interested in making other friends...but not conspicuously motivated to "take her home" that night.
If you try to start a friendly conversation and she brushes you off, (and you haven't done anything offensive), then figure it's her loss and move on. Don't try analyzing it...just move on.
I wouldn't call myeslf a chicken but because of past events I am a very shy person who doesn't talk to a lot of people. I am more open on the net than in person.
Sad as this may sound, I will for sure go tell someone what I think of them. I will strike up a conversation only if I wanna start up something with someone. If I just think they are good looking, but not my type...I just look.
Right now I run from all temptation to another relationship. I have come up with the decision to stay single forever since it is easier. lol.
I tend to be the one to initiate conversation... among other things.
by Dave Rogers 5 years ago
What will you do if you found out that your boss is having an affair with your co worker?I am working really hard to move up the ladder while there is this co worker of mine that is not really doing much but is just going out with the boss who promoted her. I feel so down. I can't just imagine...
by Terri Mann 7 years ago
How important is it to initiate sex with your boyfriend? Should he get so angry about this...situations even though he is not denied sex when he wants it?
by Devika Primić 4 years ago
Do you think both partners in a marriage should initiate intimacy?Most couples have issues in the bedroom. Do you think one of the partners should constantly initiate intimacy or should both be part of the initiation?
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