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jump to last post 1-24 of 24 discussions (49 posts)

What will you do if you found out that your boss is having an affair with your c

  1. snoblet profile image85
    snobletposted 5 years ago

    What will you do if you found out that your boss is having an affair with your co worker?

    I am working really hard to move up the ladder while there is this co worker of mine that is not really doing much but is just going out with the boss who promoted her. I feel so down. I can't just imagine where this world is headed with these type of people living on it.

  2. cat on a soapbox profile image96
    cat on a soapboxposted 5 years ago

    It's really none of my business unless it affects my job personally. If I were expected to lie, carry an added and unreasonable workload , or be subjected to public displays of affection that made me uncomfortable, THEN I would speak up.  If work is miserable, perhaps look elsewhere. You can't control the behavior of others, even if it is despicable.

    1. snoblet profile image85
      snobletposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      did you know that i personally asked the girl what needs to be done to get promoted since she got it in such a short period of time, and her reply: just keep your head up even if everyone is putting you down. so i guess ill just keep it to myself.

    2. cat on a soapbox profile image96
      cat on a soapboxposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      You did the right thing. If you feel that you'll never progress in a hostile environment, and you don't have years invested in your job, think about sending feelers out for another position elsewhere.

    3. snoblet profile image85
      snobletposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Not sure if progressing is part of work there, since there are a few that has been there for over a decade and still with the same position.  I guess in a way this is only a stepping stone for minor experience.

    4. cebutouristspot profile image75
      cebutouristspotposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      If the boss is divorce (assuming the girl is not married) then he is courting her ?

    5. snoblet profile image85
      snobletposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      I am not sure if he is but either way it still affects most of us working there. She was chosen to be promoted over someone that is more deserving. If you know what I mean.

  3. BJC profile image70
    BJCposted 5 years ago

    Stay out of it.  Doesn't matter what we think, morally or ethically, or anything else, because they are going to do what they want anyway.

    It isn't our business, but if one of them is a friend of mine then I will tell them my thoughts and leave it at that, because once it's over one of them will need a friend.

    1. snoblet profile image85
      snobletposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      You have a point. It doesn't matter what I think because if they were doing it, they obviously don't care sine it wasn't just me that knew about it. Thanks anyway, I should just stay out of it.

  4. maddot profile image77
    maddotposted 5 years ago

    Had a similar incident in  one of my work places..very strange that they thought no one knew, everyone knew! But it did cause problems and made it very hard to work there..many managers left unable to work in such a toxic environment - it always ends in tears.
    My suggestions is lay low, say absolutely nothing to anyone, and if the situation impacts negatively on your work environment, look for another job.

    1. snoblet profile image85
      snobletposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      It is really hard and very stressful. If only jobs in United States will go back to how it was 10 years ago, I would have left already. Unfortunately it is really tough nowadays and all i can do is deal with it and pretend everything is fine.

  5. maxoxam41 profile image75
    maxoxam41posted 5 years ago

    I would advise you either you quit, either you forget or send an anonymous letter to his wife because apparently it is affecting you.

    1. snoblet profile image85
      snobletposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      I like the send an anonymous letter to his wife part. He got divorced already, so I don't think the letter will do me any good.  But thanks for your ideas though. I probably would just ignore not forget. And quit if it is unbearable.

  6. gmarquardt profile image87
    gmarquardtposted 5 years ago

    I would do nothing. It's their lives and none of my business.

    1. snoblet profile image85
      snobletposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      It is their lives that affects mine which is very unfortunate. But yes, i should not do anything since it is practically useless to react. Knowing them, they could care less.

  7. nmdonders profile image84
    nmdondersposted 5 years ago

    I agree with others in that I would probably stay out of it.  If I was treated poorly I would definitely speak up or just leave.  It's unfortunate but also pretty common.  It might not be fun to deal with but at the same time they are in a relationship, whether it's moral or not.  We treat people differently when we're in relationships.  If it were his wife or girlfriend, they would probably be treated better than other employees as well.

    1. snoblet profile image85
      snobletposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      This situation is worse than favoritism and we all know how it feels when we are not the boss's favorite. I personally am dealing with this situation right now. More work load for me while she chilling. But I will get over it in time. Hopefully.

  8. tmbridgeland profile image83
    tmbridgelandposted 5 years ago

    Ignore it. Nothing good can come of reacting. Allow them whatever little bit of joy they gain from it now, as behavior like this usually ends up causing trouble for them in the future. Concentrate on your own career. If you are being unfairly ignored for promotion, see if you can arrange to be transferred to another department.

    1. snoblet profile image85
      snobletposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      I thought about moving to a different dept but they don't want to let me go because they feel I am hard working.  Sometimes working hard doesn't pay especially with lazy management.

  9. BobMonger profile image61
    BobMongerposted 5 years ago

    I've been there, too, snoblet. It will get worse before it gets better. Your boss is heading for a fall and will probably take a lot of your co-workers along with him. My best advise is to either transfer to a different department or find another job. And if you're asked why tell whomever asks the truth of the situation. Better to start over than be dragged through the mud because of such peccadilloes.

    1. snoblet profile image85
      snobletposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Finding another job sounds nice but finding one might not be so easy in this economy.  I guess others might know and can handle it pretty well especially seeing a new hire be promoted so fast.

  10. OldSkoolFool profile image60
    OldSkoolFoolposted 5 years ago

    I think it's time to stop sulking and maybe try making some moves on your boss!

    1. snoblet profile image85
      snobletposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Make a move on that thing?  I rather sleep in the streets.  I guess I like to see someone else try that and besides the work makes me feel like I accomplished things.  Not many hard working people makes me look better anyway.

  11. Mmargie1966 profile image93
    Mmargie1966posted 5 years ago

    That's a tough break.  I, personally, wouldn't do anything.  I believe in Karma and you all will get what you deserve eventually, so just be patient.  Who knows?  One day you may be the boss of both of them!

    Have faith, and don't let them get to you.

    1. snoblet profile image85
      snobletposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      I believe heavily in karma too but it seems though that people are always getting away with things by taking the lazy route.  I don't intend to stay with this job long but it goes to show how lazy some people are to do anything for so little.

    2. Express10 profile image88
      Express10posted 5 years agoin reply to this

      I have to agree with you snoblet. Many people do get away with things when they have little to no work ethic. Even worse is seeing hard working and ambitious people held back or overlooked by the lazy ones.

    3. snoblet profile image85
      snobletposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      There was someone that was not promoted because the managers are afraid that the person might eventually end up much higher than them.  Its sad how people are, and I know this because I overheard them speaking about it. sad sad sad

  12. cebutouristspot profile image75
    cebutouristspotposted 5 years ago

    That is between two consenting adult.  She also work hard for the promotion smile but just on a different field/job description hahahahah.

    Anyway you should just stay out of it and continue doing your job.

    1. snoblet profile image85
      snobletposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      She worked the overnight shift fielding the job with the boss.  Problem is there isn't an overnight shift, o well I guess in the end it makes a good laugh.

  13. dianetrotter profile image72
    dianetrotterposted 5 years ago

    There is nothing you can do.  It is rumor unless you have evidence.  If it is a matter of life or death, national security, or financial compromise, do your job.  If there are risks, the pros and cons should be weighed before blowing the proverbial whistle.

    1. snoblet profile image85
      snobletposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Nothing indeed that's why I needed to vent here smile it helps me a lot to see other's opinion so I know if I am alone or not with topics like this.  It makes it hard when you know that you work harder and get nowhere while others do less for more.

  14. Dog Advisor profile image78
    Dog Advisorposted 5 years ago

    Without knowing how your company is structured, I will answer with the parameters of mine. 

    Going directly to the boss is not a wise move. He may consider this blackmail of sorts.  I would go to my boss' superior.  Not wanting to be a 'tattle tail' but wanting fairness, I would ask the superior of my boss to please evaluate the job that I performed verses that of the co-worker that is sleeping with the boss.  This would call attention to the inconsistency of performance causing your immediate boss to answer for his choices.

    Before using this move, be very certain that your performance is beyond reproach.

    1. snoblet profile image85
      snobletposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      I don't want to be a rat, but it cross my mind.  My performance is what is too good from what the manager said and because of that they want to keep me in that dept.  Not wanting me to leave and move up.  The whole company is a joke.

    2. Express10 profile image88
      Express10posted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Knowing the company is a joke, I'd leave. There are are many companies that allow this type of behavior to go on and it does affect other employees and morale even if people are afraid to say so.

    3. snoblet profile image85
      snobletposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Some or most people there feel that they have no chance in moving anywhere from where they are.  If you are hard working they want you to stay to make them look good and so they refuse to promote anyone out of their current position, lazy gets to go.

  15. Express10 profile image88
    Express10posted 5 years ago

    I know of a company where it is an open secret that females can sleep their way up the promotion ladder and nepotism is also in open practice. It is disgusting and unfair. Even if it doesn't affect one person's job directly, it affects others. In addition, it affects employee moral, ambition, and loyalty.

    A lot of things are compromised in the process and it is a slap in the face of those who have dignity, integrity, and the commitment needed for their work.

    If this behavior occurs, I'd look for work elsewhere especially if there's reason to believe the behavior is part of the culture. Don't allow yourself to be around these people any longer than you have to. It's similar to negative and positive people spending time together. Sooner or later the negative person's mindset & ways will bring their attitude down if not rub off on the positive person.

    1. snoblet profile image85
      snobletposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      I try to keep to myself as much as I can.  Go to work, and than go home and try to not associate with those people too much.  Others might not mind because they don't expect to advance or have no desire to do so, but there are those that want more.

    2. Express10 profile image88
      Express10posted 5 years agoin reply to this

      It sounds like you are a good employee to have on board. Hopefully someone there will recognize this and you will be rewarded. Perhaps karma will come around and prompt a removal of those that aren't conducting themselves like smart adults.

    3. snoblet profile image85
      snobletposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for the praise, but I guess the only thing to do is to ignore it for the time being.  I hope something else will pop up soon, but who knows how it will be if I get another job, it seems like its a typical problem the more I look at it.

  16. profile image49
    aidahkposted 5 years ago

    look you guys are trying to be politically correct. Yes who cares who your boss sleeps with, but the truth is , his affair is going to affect you. Unless they make it public, there are a whole lot of issues that come up. What if you have a disagreement with his girlfriend, is it going to affect your job? Is there a power issue here? of course there is, so if an affair is going to work, then they have to make it public, but of course they're never going to admit it, particularly if they are married to other partners. So it's just not good news at all. why should you have to change your job for their lack of judgement. This is a human resource issue and they should be making sure that their personal relationship doesn't affect you, not you changing your life around for their indiscretions

  17. Admiral Murrah profile image71
    Admiral Murrahposted 5 years ago

    An overview addressing many of the issues associated with workplace affairs. Any affair at the workplace impacts all the employees find out how. read more

  18. fpherj48 profile image78
    fpherj48posted 5 years ago

    I personally, would do NOTHING.  This is the perfect scenario to mind your own business.  Period.   Can you imagine how long you'd have a job at all, if it was found out that you vocalized your complaint?  to anyone?
    Just be a good employee, do your job as expected and wait patiently.
    Workplace affairs don't last forever....especially if one or both of them is married....and when it ends, it's never a pretty sight.   You may find yourself in the right place at the right time.   Good question!

    1. snoblet profile image85
      snobletposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks, I did pretty much what you mention and just left if alone and let it blow by, I don't think I will be there long before I find something else

  19. philli profile image83
    philliposted 5 years ago

    Nothing, as long as my well-deserved promotion or raise isn't given to her instead. My opinion of both parties would definitely plummet and would not do anything with either socially anymore. I feel that it is not my place to get involved...however, if someone (his wife, the boss' boss, etc) asked me outright about it I would not lie.

    If it started to affect work, I would report the boss to his superior and be ready to back it up with evidence (such as times/places that I witnessed inappropriate contact that could be looked up on the company's security cameras).

  20. Lady_E profile image74
    Lady_Eposted 5 years ago

    It's none of my business and I just hope it wouldn't interfere with my work productivity. In situations like that, if you annoy one of them, you have annoyed both of them.  I have been in a situation like that before but  thankfully, I got on well with both of them.

    If you are unhappy, discuss with a Senior Manager or start looking for another job. Your happiness is important.

  21. Lady_E profile image74
    Lady_Eposted 5 years ago

    Sometimes in the workplace, staff are attracted to each other and find love or lust. Whatever you want to call it.  What would you do if your Boss was going out with your co worker? read more

  22. profile image52
    slidingsandsposted 4 years ago

    It is always someone that's willing to go that extra mile unfortunately, that the times we live in but what she's doing is very short lived . When your boss is ready to upgrade her job is over.Mean while when it's time for you to be promoted it would be for you hard work and your brains.

  23. LensMan999 profile image53
    LensMan999posted 4 years ago

    It's better to keep quiet and carry on with your job. If you find that this incident hinders your career in any way it's better to look for any other job. If you have no other option, concentrate more on your work and don't pay much attention to what others talk about it. Just don't interfere in it in any manner. God is the ultimate power and he will make you succeed in life.

  24. profile image50
    brianegan72posted 4 years ago
 
working