Hi Hubbers, can I have a review please?

1. 0

   Jenny-Anneposted 15 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I've just written my third hub. Would you mind having a look at the hubs on my profile and letting me know what you think?
   
   Thanks!
   
   Jenny-Anne

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2. 68

   Ivorwenposted 15 years ago

   Your hubs are well laid out and attractive looking, but difficult to read.  When it comes to capturing an online audience, they say it is important to hook your audience within the first 6 seconds.
   
   Try using lay-man's terms, instead of jargon -- i.e. write how people talk.  If some one, researching seals, who is unfamiliar with the terms you have used stumbles upon your article, they are going to leave just as quickly, because what you have said means nothing to them.
    
   Also, when writing on-line, stick with one topic per sentence, and anchor each topic well.   In this one sentence I copied below, you have written about marine ecotourism, Martello towers and psychological spaces.  To someone who knows little about Ireland, these are meaningless.  Unless you are planning to expound on them in the article, it is probably better not to mention them.
   
   "Marine eco-tourism in Ireland has the potential to trace Ireland's relationship with the marine environment throughout history, exploring physical places like the Martello towers and psychological spaces such as the role of the sea during the famine years."
   
   If you were to tell what Ireland's marine ecotourism is, in simple terms, it would have more meaning.  Tell about the role the sea played when Ireland suffered famine, instead of just alluding to it.  Tell why the towers are important.  Tell how it continues to play an important part today, in simple terms.
   
   I am guessing that many of those who find your article will be in elementary school, doing research for an assignment.  If you want to pass on your love for this topic, make it readable and understandable on a fifth-grade level.

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3. 0

   Jenny-Anneposted 15 years ago

   Hi Ivorwen,
   
   thanks for swinging by!
   
   I'm just getting used to writing on-line so I appreciate the feedback. The marine ecotourism article was the first hub I did
   so I'm hoping they improve as I go along.
   
   I like your comment on developing some of the points in this hub and might go back and do some more work on it.
   
   Thanks for taking the time to look it over!

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4. 86

   Marisa Wrightposted 15 years ago

   Jenny-Anne, I agree that the Irish Hub reads too much like an academic paper - it would be worth revising. I'm not sure about the "fifth-grader" thing:  I'm not a big fan of dumbing down too much.  Perhaps think about using language appropriate to your favourite magazine or newspaper.
   
   The other Hubs are good but do seem a little cluttered.  If you have a lot of photos or highlighted text boxes on the right of your text, make sure the text is still readable - I find it's often necessary to break it up into smaller paragraphs.

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5. 0

   Jenny-Anneposted 15 years ago

   Hi Marissa,
   
   thanks for the feedback - some helpful tips that I will try and put into practice!

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