How does one control the tone of one's writing in comments, formats and hubs?
My favorite trick is to step back and never write anything while I am upset. That's a rule I use for responding to emails, and seems to work in most situations. Are there any tips people would be willing to share. Choice of words, sentence structure or anything actually. I wouldn't mind inspiring a few hubs.
It honestly depends what I want to say. If I need to say something is terrible and I don't care what people think about it, I tend to use strong words like "utter failure", a "disaster in the form of a [whatever it is]" and so on. But to keep in good terms with everyone I like to say, "now don't get me wrong", or "Now, to some extent it does so and so well".
My best tip would be "agree to disagree", meaning that you should say things like "I can see where you're coming from, BUT...." which makes you seem calmer. Plus, it makes you feel better ^^
Watch out for the pronoun "you." It's often a giveaway that one is over-personalizing, and a warning sign that one may be veering toward the accusatory.
When you want to control the tone of your voice when writing online it is essential to research word choice, frame of reference and perception. You want to know your audience by understanding their frame of reference. You can use that, and prior communication, such as in comments, to understand the readers perception.
Most of all, it is essential to have a large vocabulary from which to choose your words from. Make sure the words/phrases you are using convey the tone. Also, pay attention to the tense you are writing in.
Put your mind in the frame you want your comment, etc. to be in. Your words will usually come out in that tone. If you are wanting to inspire, always tell the person how great they are doing at 'such and such'. This will give them a good feeling. This is the point where you can tell them if there is something wrong with their hubs, 'in order to make it better'. This is inspiring and helping them. I have gotten quite a reputation as being supportive with this format. It does work. Always find something nice to say.
Hmm, the trick to not posting while upset is a very good one.
Of course if answering seems urgent, always use a mild yoga/zen type move where you sit, try to sit comfortably and relax, take a deep breath, and now you are more in a neutral zone.
The tone you want to use, could be the same tone you like in other Hubs.
Their humor, their respectful way of commenting even when they disagree, their understanding and their knowledge about the topic.
When I am emotional, I sometimes write my greatest work. It's not the anger or the sadness I use in them, but describing a scene, a feeling or a situation, sometimes works better, when you're very much connected to your emotional self.
It can be very easy to be misunderstood. I try to take great care when leaving comments, as a phase that may seem simple can have several interpretations. Intonation in phrasing is important.
You could always write down what you want to say, rewrite it to where it seems less upsetting or angry and then have a friend or relative go over it and let you know what tone it seems to have.
Sometimes I do write when I am upset, but I don't publish or send it. Simply because it could inspire me to rewrite about what made me mad-in a less vengeful way later on. (It is very hard not to send or publish those things sometimes though, so be forewarned!)
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