I'm sure there's all kinds of grammatical errors but I would like your feedback on the overall story. Thank you!
https://hubpages.com/literature/Deal-wi … hort-Story
Hi, Sarah. Like you say, a few grammar errors, and some sentences could be reworded (change "They would have never allowed it" to "They never would have allowed it"). Normally I'd say add more pictures to give breaks from the text, but given the narrative format, that's not necessary here. As you likely know, HubPages hesitates with creative work, preferring informative pieces, but I'm still glad to see stories like these; I greatly enjoyed the tale.
Poor Alana, if only the adults hadn't withheld information from her (both the old man over the phone and her aunt). How many of us have said we'd "do anything" for a goal when in reality that phrase is just hyperbole? Alas, to her peril, Alana's words are taken literally. Also interesting to think that phone guy has the power to make the deal *for* other individuals. Some guy at the Burger King drive-through forgets phone guy's packets of ketchup? Deal with the devil on him.
by Sarah Spradlin 13 months ago
I wrote this in the 9th grade and have always loved it but feel there are some things that could be changed. I would LOVE your thoughts on it. It is very short. Thank you in advance!https://hubpages.com/literature/So-I-Wa … h-Spradlin
by Kyriakos Chalkopoulos 7 weeks ago
Hi, if you are interested in the writings of J.L. Borges, you could have a look at my article and say what you thought of it... https://hubpages.com/literature/On-the- … e-minotaur
by krithi krisa 6 months ago
Hi Hubbers,I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article How Are Diet And Exercise Related To Each Other (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks!
by Jerry 2 weeks ago
Hi Hubbers,I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article? What can I do to improve? Thanks!Here is my article: How to Help the Client in a Short Time (must be signed in to view)
by daanish jalhotra 3 years ago
Hi Hubbers,I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my Hub The murder- a short story (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks!
by Kannan Reddy 10 months ago
Hi Hubbers,I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article Baba - Short story of a dog. What can I do to improve? I can't think anything to improve this as it is creative writing. A short story.Please help.
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