Up for a niche site but need to improve a bit please help?

  1. DanieleRobbers profile image74
    DanieleRobbersposted 8 years ago

    Hey, guys, this is only my second hub ever and it is up for being put on a niche site. I am super excited. I am trying to make writing a career and this is the push I need. I need to add a bio which I got covered but they said it also needed APA titles which I can do as well. What I need help with is proofreading. would anyone be willing to spot a few minor errors for me? they said it only had minor grammar errors and I already had one person proofread it and another person will too by Saturday. I just really want the feedback of a few pros, just to be safe.

    HERE IT IS BE BRUTAL

    https://hubpages.com/health/10-ways-to- … ur-Mindset

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  2. Gregory DeVictor profile image75
    Gregory DeVictorposted 8 years ago

    I proofread the content under the capsule heading “Getting Started With Your Mindset Makeover.”

    Here is what I found:

    In your second paragraph:

    Remove the hyphen in between the words self and several.

    In the following sentence, insert a comma after the word self-worth.

    You wrote:

    "I am worthy of achieving my dreams".

    The period should precede the quotation mark.

    In the following sentence, remove the comma after the word life.

    In the following sentence, insert a comma after the word places.

    In the following sentence, insert a comma after the word visualization.

    You wrote:

    “A mind is a powerful tool and these both work very well to maximize that power. That is why these two tools make a great starting point for your own mindset makeover. The reason is that the mind takes belief as fact. This means what you tell yourself repeatedly becomes your reality. Once you understand this you can take what has been working against you and make it work for you instead.”

    Restructure this paragraph. For example, the first two sentences do not really make much sense. Remove the short, choppy sentences within the paragraph as well.

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    1. DanieleRobbers profile image74
      DanieleRobbersposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you so much that is amazing that you did that for me thank you! I am so excited for this chance and you really helped out a lot! I can't wait to work on the changes you suggested. Very kind of you.

      replyreport
 
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