I'd like feedback on my article: 14 LATEST TECHNOLOGICAL ADVANCEMENTS IN...

1. 54

   Maisam Nazimposted 5 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article 14 LATEST TECHNOLOGICAL ADVANCEMENTS IN HEALTHCARE (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks!

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      Natalie Frankposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      This article seems somewhat superficial.  There's no introduction to the topic and you just list them one after the other with a few sentences each.  Each one of these topics could be the focus of an individual article.  The sections don't really say much.  Also are these really the most cutting edge developments in health care?  EHR's have been around for decades now, as have robotics, telemedicine, virtual reality & AI.  The Human Genome was begun almost 30 years ago and completed in 2003.  Nanotechnology started in 1959 with the modern era of nanotechnology beginning in the 1980's.  Organ transplantation was begun in the 1950's. As for human head transplants - this idea is highly controversial with the majority of the medical community saying it isn't ethical and constitutes bad science.  I would recommend choosing a limited number of the options you list here, maybe three (though one would make a nice in depth article).  After the intro discuss the ones chosen in depth in terms of the history of them, what they were created to solve, the details of what they do exactly and what problems they are used for, how they have been used quite recently and how (this year) this is a new use (if you want it to be the latest technological advances), as well as where the technology is going in the future.  Make sure your info is accurate and include references.  Make sure you tie it all together with some sort of summary and conclusion.

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      1. 54

         Maisam Nazimposted 5 years agoin reply to this

         Thanks for such a nice advice. Before writing the article I wrote it's summery in its respective section but it didn't appear in preview. What's the matter

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      peachpurpleposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      try to add some of your own words, if you use the articles online, you need to change 70% of them to make them original, your own copy.

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         Natalie Frankposted 5 years agoin reply to this

         A quick comment about this - you can't just take something already written and reword it - HP wants work that isn't found elsewhere.  Of course, coming up with a completely new topic that isn't covered anywhere on the net is all but impossible nowadays, HP does want some kind of different spin on what you write about.

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   DrMark1961posted 5 years ago

   The summary is what will appear on the search engines so that people can know what your article is about. It is not part of your article.
   It still needs some sort of introduction.

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      Natalie Frankposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      And some kind of summary or conclusion at the end.

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3. 54

   Maisam Nazimposted 5 years ago

   Hi
   I want to ask that if I can write the article, explaining my topic in the shape of a story?
   Thanks

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4. 60

   Elise Nassraposted 5 years ago

   Hello! I simply want to offer you a big thumbs up for the excellent information you’ve got right here on this post. But there are no long Introduction about each topic and need to Put more about each and every topic.
   
   Thanks!

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5. 61

   sdcarshippingposted 5 years ago

   Hi, read your article already! You have a nice title and graphic. However, I suggest you write a short but concise introduction. The introduction part tells the reader of what's the article is all about and why do you think they need to learn these technological advancement.If its for academic, I suggest that you include your references and citations. Lastly, write a conclusion, not a summary of all what you have written but a conclusion of your research.

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