I'd like feedback on my article: Forza Horizon 3 Review A rip-tire Triumph

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  1. Draco986 profile image59
    Draco986posted 7 years ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article Forza Horizon 3 Review  A rip-tire Triumph (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks!

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    1. theraggededge profile image83
      theraggededgeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      First of all, put your title into title case.

      Then your introductory sentence: "The joy of racing through an fictional Australian landscape in your Lamborghini Aventador is unmatched by many similar genres."

      A fictional...., not 'an fictional'.

      Genre means category, so just for moment pretend it says 'many similar categories' - it doesn't work, does it? So it should be 'unmatched by similar games'.

      That's my contribution smile

      Good luck.

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      1. Draco986 profile image59
        Draco986posted 7 years agoin reply to this

        My first ever feedback! Thank you so much!

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        1. theraggededge profile image83
          theraggededgeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

          Yeah, sorry, I don't know much about gaming smile

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          1. Draco986 profile image59
            Draco986posted 7 years agoin reply to this

            The fact that you took time out to give me feedback really means alot

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  2. Natalie Frank profile image77
    Natalie Frankposted 7 years ago

    You need to proof read it and fix the various mistakes.  Also try reading it aloud to see if it makes sense.  Fix things like run on sentences and incomplete sentences.  Ex. "Which means you have complete control from hiring and firing racers . . . " is incomplete.  While you may be trying to inject some levity into the article make sure it is works where you have put it.  Ex. This entry in the series also allows you and upto 3 of your friends to adventure through the campaign in coop. unfortunately you cannot drive over a kangaroo (as fun as that sounds).  Fix typos upto should be up to, 3 should be three (under ten spell out), coop - does this mean cooperation?  Try together unless you mean you all adventure while being in a cage.  Capitalize unfortunately.  Consider whether that last sentence works there.

    I think it you work on cleaning it up and making sure you are following good basic writing practices you should be fine. Good luck.

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    1. Draco986 profile image59
      Draco986posted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you ever so much.  I will get to work. Really appreciate that you have spent time reading it smile

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