I'd like feedback on my article: Who Will Win The FIFA World Cup?

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   RyanTwomeyposted 6 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article Who Will Win The FIFA World Cup? (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks!
   
   And please do be kind! I spent ages gathering all this information, I believe no one else has actually done this either which is why I'm all the more eager to see it published. I have a lot of topics I want to write about on this site but so far all three of my articles that I have written haven't been approved. I try to make changes but don't have any success. I understand as well that relevant pictures can make the article look more attractive but in this case I'm not sure if I'm allowed to post pictures as my topic is the upcoming FIFA World Cup so any advice on that would also be appreciated. I understand that my article is not very long and I know I can go into more depth on the topic, but right now I don't want to as I'm afraid of getting rejected yet again. I'm sure if I can figure out how to get one article published I should be fine for sorting out the rest. So please help me out, what can I do to get my article published? 
   
   Also the original title was more in depth about the information I provided but personally I found it very messy, so the title I have chosen is a lot simpler, although I'm still not sure as to whether or not it is appropriate.
   
   Sorry another thing, I only just recently verified my email address after I submit my articles, could that also have been an issue? They did send me emails saying that I didn't pass that quality thing so I doubt it.
   
   Thank you.

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      Natalie Frankposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      First, the article is too short.  It needs to be over 700 words and really should be more along the lines of 1250 - 3000 if you want a decent google rank. Try pretending you are talking to someone who is not from Europe and doesn't know what FIFA or the World Cup is.  You talk about individuals receiving trophy's - is this accurate or does the team receive the trophy? Or is there an MVP trophy as well?  It seems that if the trophy is team based then this would mean every player on the winning team would be scouted after winning but ultimately the team with the most players with trophy "experience" would the team that won last year so this variable doesn't really work.  The end of the paragraph before the table says "So going into the FIFA World Cup, which team has the best chance of winning the competition based on the amount of players who found success with their clubs this season?"  It's supposed to be trophy winners - success with the team this season seems to be something different than winning a trophy since if its this season the World Cup hasn't been played so no player would have won a trophy.
      
      It would make for a more interesting and complete article if you discussed what other factors go into winning the World Cup.  I'm sure with some research you can find a number of other variables to discuss.
      
      Reconsider your title since you are really just talking about determining who will win based on the number of players who have won trophy's in the past.  If you expand make it reflect the content in terms mentioning what factors you will discuss which predicts who will win.
      
      You need to proofread heavily as there are numerous mistakes in terms of punctuation, grammar, subject verb agreement, plurals, run on sentences and two sentences incorrectly joined with commas.
      For example, "Kante was stolen by Chelsea after winning the league with Leicester City, they eventually took Danny Drinkwater as well who's time at Chelsea looks to be coming to an end. Jose Mourinho usually signs successful players, at Manchester United he's signed Ibrahimovic, Pogba and Matic,for example, who have all won numerous trophies throughout their respective careers. "
      
      Include photos that you can legally use - if you search Google Images make sure to filter by usage rights or use one of the other open image sites that let you use photos for commercial purposes.
      
      Break up the text into separate capsules as HP requires that.
      
      I don't see any spammy elements, I just see a lot of areas that need improvement before HP will consider accepting it.  Good luck.

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         peachpurpleposted 6 years agoin reply to this

         I agree with you. I am not a fan of FIFA cup so it would be better to start off with a short history intro

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            theraggededgeposted 6 years agoin reply to this

            So you wouldn't be searching for this in the first place, would you? It's not a history of the World Cup, so all that backstory isn't necessary.

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   RyanTwomeyposted 6 years ago

   Just an update, apparently I've been rejected for spammy elements.

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   theraggededgeposted 6 years ago

   Okay...
   
   The first two paragraphs bear no relation to the title. It's not until halfway through the third paragraph that you mention the Fifa World Cup.
   
   I was expecting the hub to be quite long, but it is really very short.
   
   So, expecting to find an analysis and breakdown of which country you think is mostly likely to win, and why, the reader is left going... uh?
   
   I can't see any spammy elements, but it needs a lot more material, and it needs to be on topic in order to complete with the plethora of similar titles currently being published.
   
   Good luck.

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      RyanTwomeyposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      I just wanted the opening section to kind of explain why I created this if that makes sense. I think it is necessary but maybe doesn't have to be as long as I made it. But as you say while it's on topic for me, to fit in with the rules here I may have to scrap it completely. I can definitely add more to it I have the knowledge it's just the thought of being rejected, again! As I was creating this I kept a separate document where I wrote down each players name's and the trophies they won for their clubs this past season. Do you think adding those findings is a good idea? So for example 19 of Brazilian players won trophies this season, should I then list those players and say what trophies they won and how that experience can help their nation win the world cup this summer?  Thank you for your response and your help.

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   DrMark1961posted 6 years ago

   You do realize that. no matter how much you work on this, it is going to be dead in the water in a few months time? That is why HP encourages people to write evergreen articles.
   Evan an article about Neymar or Ronaldinho would have more lasting power than an article abou the winner of the 2018 world cup. After a while, interest is just going to slack off. There will be searches later on, of course, but I doubt they will want to read an article about who is going to win the cup.
   
   If you want to lengthen this in order to learn how to write, that is fine. If you want to spend more time on it because you have already spent a lot of time on it, well, that is not such a good idea.
   
   (As far as photos, there are always plenty of creative commons photos available in Pixabay and other free sites.)

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      RyanTwomeyposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks very much for replying. I mean really I have to get this posted before the tournament starts, which is Thursday. After that then yeah no one will care for it. Which is something I didn't realise. I've done a bit more editing, will do a tiny bit more, resubmit and if it's not approved I might have to just park it and try something else. Thanks for your input

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         theraggededgeposted 6 years agoin reply to this

         But you have to make it about the world cup. At the moment it's not about that at all.
         
         So, yes, write about the Brazilian team but you need to do more to tie it into the tournament and the other contenders.
         
         What are your keywords? You need more than the FIFA World Cup otherwise your article will never be found. "Top Contenders for the FIFA World Cup 2018" might be better than your current title.
         
         Ah... wait, I just took another look. It's much better now. Except you need to include Some other teams... like England
         
         Good luck, I'm sure you'll get this featured soon.

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            DrMark1961posted 6 years agoin reply to this

            Why England? Are they even in the World Cup?

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               theraggededgeposted 6 years agoin reply to this

               LOL Yes. Wales aren't though
               
               https://www.telegraph.co.uk/world-cup/0 … -analysis/

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            RyanTwomeyposted 6 years agoin reply to this

            Yeah thanks for the help. I could do even better as well I just wasn't sure how to add in the next parts just yet. I gave a bit of a poll too they might like that kind of engagement with the reader. I just think the concept is interesting, I'm not sure if I'm explaining it well but I believe it's much clearer now what I have to do.  On the title I am not happy with that either i don't think it's very clear but I don't know how to make it concise then if you know what I mean. Again thanks for the help I mean this experience should help me out in getting my other articles published if i am eventually successful with this one I appreciate the advice

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