I'd like feedback on my article: Things You Can Do at Home When You Have...

1. 47

   Arc4lifeposted 7 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   Been working at this everyday now for literally 7 days.
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article Things You Can Do at Home When You Have Difficulty Falling Asleep.. What can I do to improve? Thanks!

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2. 67

   daydreamsposted 7 years ago

   I would reorganise it so you have a brief introductory sentence or two and a summary of the reasons. I would put the part about how long you should sleep at the end or leave it out as its not really relevant to the title. The quote maybe somewhere in the middle, or just in the introductory text and not a box if you are quoting yourself? It's a confusing way to start.
   
   It also needs proofread, for example under #7 "Including myself" is not a whole sentence. There are a few other errors like this.
   
   I also wouldn't put headings on the photo capsules- just have a caption instead, it is distracting away from your 10 reasons.
   
   I am not sure if there is Hubpages guidance on this but rather than putting #1, I would just put 1. to number the reasons.
   I would also remove the capsule saying Top 10 Tips for Better Sleep- it adds nothing. You could put 10 in the article title.
   
   Hope this helps. I think this could be a good article.

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   1. 81

      Natalie Frankposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      First, I'd say the topic is way over-covered.  There's nothing new here and there was another article which presented most of the same info that recently also showed up in the forum because it couldn't get published.  Bedroom setup, don't eat before bed, limit caffeine, exercise, relax, read, turn off tech., get a good mattress and pillow.  There's just absolutely nothing new and all of these have been suggested a zillion times. 
      
      The section How much sleep do we get? Below it, it says how much sleep do we need?  These are two different things. You can't lift the entire section from the National Sleep Foundation’s sleep time duration recommendations word for word even if you provide the reference.  It's still plagiarism.  Also what does that have to do with your topic which is what you can do at home to help yourself sleep?  A detailed chart about how much the sleep range narrows from one age to another across the life span has nothing to do with your topic.
      
      Even if you can get this published which is doubtful it will never go to a niche site. I would recommend either scrapping it and starting over doing really good research on finding recommendations that are very recent and differ from what has been said before or consider dropping this one altogether and try a different topic. I wish I could be more positive.

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   2. 47

      Arc4lifeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      You can't lift the entire section from the National Sleep Foundation’s sleep time duration recommendations word for word even if you provide the reference.
      - i DID N'T LIFT THIS and put the sleep time duration in word for word. Wow you are one harsh critic. You are not nice at all.  I did reference it, take the important material out of it and add it to my article. Ya i wish you had been a little more positive too. This did not help me at all. Makes me want to leave hubpages all together.

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      1. 81

         Natalie Frankposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         I didn't mean to be overly negative.  But you asked what you could do to improve your article and have been at it for seven days without it being accepted.  If you only want to hear positive remarks then you will not be able to learn why your article is repeatedly rejected nor will you improve.  When we give feedback we are not doing it to be mean but to help you learn how to get your work accepted on HP.  Every one of us has had to learn HP's way of doing things and the biggest strength of this community is that everyone has something to contribute and those who are successful help each other learn new things regularly.  No one hear has nothing left to learn and sometimes it can be discouraging when we work hard on something and someone who knows more about a problem our article has points it out. No one likes to hear what they believe to be negative remarks but if you are going to be successful as a writer constructive criticism comes with it.
         
         I didn't say you left the reference off.  But when you just add a citation that isn't meant to suggest that you have used their information word for word.  You have changed this section as well as changing the reference.  I still had the other reference up and it was https://sleepfoundation.org/excessivesl … lly-need-0 
         
         This is from the article:
         
         Newborns (0-3 months): Sleep range narrowed to 14-17 hours each day (previously it was 12-18)
         Infants (4-11 months): Sleep range widened two hours to 12-15 hours (previously it was 14-15)
         Toddlers (1-2 years): Sleep range widened by one hour to 11-14 hours (previously it was 12-14)
         Preschoolers (3-5): Sleep range widened by one hour to 10-13 hours (previously it was 11-13)
         School age children (6-13): Sleep range widened by one hour to 9-11 hours (previously it was 10-11)
         Teenagers (14-17): Sleep range widened by one hour to 8-10 hours (previously it was 8.5-9.5)
         Younger adults (18-25): Sleep range is 7-9 hours (new age category)
         Adults (26-64): Sleep range did not change and remains 7-9 hours
         Older adults (65+): Sleep range is 7-8 hours (new age category)
         
         So you have taken out some of the information and now have:
         
         Newborns (age 0-3 months ): 14 to 17 hours
         Infants (age 4-11 months): 12 to 15 hours
         Toddlers (age 1-2 years): 11 to 14 hours
         Preschoolers (age 3-5): 10 to 13 hours
         School age children ( age 6-13): 9 to 11 hours
         Teenagers (age 14-17): 8 to 10 hours
         Younger adults (age 18-25): 7 to 9 hours
         Adults (age 26-64): 7 to 9 hours
         Older adults (age 65+): 7 to 8 hours
         
         Fine - so you took out some info - it is still their chart and their recommendations not yours. When you write something without quotation marks you are saying that it is your idea which it isn't. That would be lifting it.
         
         You have a section Your Bedroom Set Up is Important with a picture but no content.
         
         You have two recommendations then you insert the section on how much sleep people should get across the lifespan - still not really relevant
         
         Then you go back to recommendations - would be better to just list the recs one after the other.
         
         In your article you pretty much mention what's in the same article the data above was taken from.
         
         Yours - Bedroom, Make it as dark as possible, Sound Machine - theirs Evaluate your bedroom including sound and light
         Yours Eating close to bedtime and caffein - theirs hidden sleep stealers
         Yours Mattress and pillows theirs - Sleep on a comfortable mattress and pillows
         Yours Turn off technology - theirs Turn off electronics
         Yours - Reading, Relax - Theirs -  Relax which would include reading
         Yours Exercise - Theirs - Exercise
         
         In other words nothing you cover in your article is not covered in that one article plus these topics are completely over saturated.  Searching on HP alone there were endless articles on improving sleep/getting a good nights sleep etc. - I stopped counting at 40 and there were still eight pages of results left.  On google there are literally hundreds of thousands.  Both HP and Google have the same suggestions here listed over and over and over again and generally in far more detail with many many many more suggestions. 
         
         You also need to remove the Amazon Capsule and possibly replace it with a link, understanding they may still feel it isn't closely tied to the article enough since it's not about sound machines (I don't know this is definitely the case, I just know they have gotten very strict on Amazon links and a lot of HP authors have had issues with them removing amazon products they don't feel they should have removed.  I think the product is related enough and you do put in personal info - but you still need to get rid of the capsule).
         
         
         Do as you wish but please don't continue complaining when your article remains unpublished or isn't moved to a niche site.  I am genuinely attempting to provide information that will help you be successful here at HP certainly not trying to drive you off or make you feel bad.  I truly wish you nothing but success in all your future endeavors.

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         1. 47

            Arc4lifeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

            thanks.

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   3. 47

      Arc4lifeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you DayDreamers. Everything taken you said. I will make it a better article. Appreciate you.

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3. 100

   DrMark1961posted 7 years ago

   Natalie is correct when she points out that this article is covering a saturated topic and does not present any new information. Even if you correct the grammatical errors, and it is featured, that does not mean much. Featured only means that an article is "normal"and it does not mean that your article is ever going to get any traffic.
   In order to be moved to a niche site, and gain significant traffic, your article has to provide some new information. Her earlier suggestion about searching for a better topic is your best bet.

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4. 47

   Arc4lifeposted 7 years ago

   Thanks

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