Need your help with this article

1. 93

   Ekcedeonposted 6 years ago

   Hope everyone is having a good day thus far. If my fellow hubbers aren't too busy, can you give me a few suggestions on how to improve the quality of  this article: https://hubpages.com/relationships/thin … r-in-a-man
   
   Many thanks!

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   1. 83

      theraggededgeposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Hi there,
      
      First thing that caught my eye was the subtitle: "Signs That Your Spouse is Ready for Marriage" He can't be the spouse yet By definition 'spouse' means marriage partner, so you need to replace it with boyfriend, partner or fiancé.
      
      "Women are the glue in marriages. But history has taught that men play an even more vital role in marriages. The husband has the responsibility to nurture and admonish his wife on a path that is fulfilling."
      
      They should have equal roles and it is not a husband's job to admonish his wife, but to encourage and support her (and vice versa).
      
      I won't go on as I think I might find myself at odds with your traditional viewpoints

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      1. 93

         Ekcedeonposted 6 years agoin reply to this

         Thank you theraggededge, there are certain norms that we collective accept while on the other hand, there are certain norms that make us different.

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2. 78

   theyankeecajunposted 6 years ago

   Ekcedeon,
   
   You will need a good thorough proofread to fix some of the grammatical errors. A couple examples are within your photo captions "He must connects with your emotions" and "He must pays very close attention ".  There are other instances throughout the article, and would not be a difficult fix.
   
   Your title does not match the article all that well in my opinion.  You do not really present "4 Signs He's Ready For Marriage", but rather what you are presenting is does he have the four attributes/traits/qualities to be a good future husband.
   
   Unfortunately, I am not exactly within the target audience of your article so I cannot offer up too much expert support here for you... Good Luck!

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   1. 93

      Ekcedeonposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks, theyankeecajun, I was looking at the title and thinking it needs something else. Good suggestion.
      
      Many thanks.

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