I'd like feedback on my article: How to accelerate profitability of a Hospital?

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   Solayman Rumonposted 6 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article How to accelerate profitability of a Hospital? (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks!

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   1. 82

      theraggededgeposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Hi there,
      
      Here are my suggestions:
      
      Put your title into title case. Do the same with the subheadings. Lose the question mark in the title.
      
      Proofread carefully. You have 'tuff' where it should be tough and 'stuffing' where it should be staffing. There are many more errors like that all the way through.
      
      Don't randomly capitalise the beginnings of words in the middle of sentences, like this: "Healthcare organizations, clinics, and Hospitals are always fighting for ways to cut expenses from various sectors, but it is a tuff issue for a hospital management to do it in the most efficient way."
      
      Shorten your sentences, "Healthcare organizations, clinics and hospitals are always seeking ways to cut expenditure. It's difficult to identify the most efficient methods."
      
      The word 'hospital' occurs 49 times throughout the article. See if you can reduce it by restructuring your sentences.
      
      Break your text up into multiple capsules and add another legal-to-use image.
      
      You have to delete the link. If you are writing marketing articles to promote businesses, you need to know that it's not permitted here. The web page you are linking to is commercial and quite badly written. In other words, not a quality link. HubPages is a site for writers, not business promotion.
      
      Hope that helps.

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   2. 74

      TIMETRAVELER2posted 6 years agoin reply to this

      I haven't looked at the article but am wondering why you would write on this topic as the only people who might want to read it would be...well..hospital adminiistrators!  Pretty limited audience.  Also, these people are already aware of things they need to do to make more money, so why would they read this article?  Just sayin'

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