I'd like feedback on my article: Entrepreneurship and Personal Growth: 25...

1. 77

   itknolposted 5 years ago

   Hi everyone.
   
   I'm not new here. Haven't posted in a couple of years. Didn't pass the QA Process after publishing an article I've been working on for a few days.
   
   I just added a bio, featured image, disclaimer and copyright notice, then resubmitted again.
   
   Could this be it? What am I missing here?
   
   Thank you in advance.
   
   Here is my article: Entrepreneurship and Personal Growth: 25 Hard-Earned Lessons from 12+ Years of Trial and Error

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2. 96

   theraggededgeposted 5 years ago

   Hi there,
   
   Delete the subtitle 'Introduction'. It's not necessary. The first paragraph of an article is always the introduction I'd also move the third paragraph to the top.
   
   Don't use colloquialisms like 'gotta'. It's unprofessional.
   
   Remove the mention of supporting Hubpages. It's not related to your topic.
   
   Make sure each subtitle is formatted correctly, that they contain a relevant key phrase and are all consistent. Number your lessons from 1 to 25. Reduce the use of quote marks. And also reduce them throughout the article; they are distracting.
   
   Remove the Amazon capsule and instead use a natural in-text link, mentioning the book in detail. Quote from it. The Amazon item must be something you have experience of.
   
   Place your references with links at the end of the article. The last thing you want to do is to send people away from your page. The exception is a single Amazon link.
   
   I'd also reduce the amount of text you devote to nutrition. A little is fine, but too much detail is overload and doesn't belong in and article about entrepreneurship . You could always use the material in another article.
   
   Lots to do, but I'm sure you'll get it approved. You have a lovely engaging style of writing.

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   1. 77

      itknolposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Awesome! Thanks a lot for taking the time.
      
      My English has definitely gotten rusty, not to mention writing for an audience.
      
      Excellent points. I'll definitely follow these tips with some slight exceptions, mainly because of stylistic considerations.
      
      Thanks for reminding me about colloquialisms and thanks for that last sentence. It means a lot - I've never received feedback on my writing style in particular.
      
      Thanks!

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